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Wednesday, January 30, 2013

More Girlfriend Perks

In my previous post where I was making note of some of the benefits that I was convincing myself came with being an official "girlfriend" I covered a few of the basics. Since then, I have discovered a few more perks and thought I would share.

GF benefit list continued:

1) Getting off multiple times before I even get out of bed in the morning. I have talked before about the joy of the morning quickie but have recently been reminded of how much of a benefit this truly is when the boyfriend is on the ready and conveniently located beside me in the morning.

2) Getting breakfast made for me afterwards. Yep, that happens in this relationship. I'm not complaining.

3) Not being allowed to walk out when a discussion gets difficult. He doesn't hold me against my will or anything but he does call me out on my shit and makes me stay engaged in the conversation to finish it out instead of doing my hit and run routine as I have done in the past. I hate it and appreciate at it at the same time.

4) Having him get nervous enough before I head out of town for the weekend that he makes a 200 mile drive to see me and make sure that I'm completely satisfied and exhausted before I get on the plane to ward off any shenanigans that may present themselves to me while in his absence. He's a smart one like that!

So the list continues to grow. The benefits package is getting better and I'm enjoying discovering what else is in store for me.

*Updated 10am: Make that breakfast, a dozen roses, and a cute series of notes of all the things he would never change about me. SWOON!

What are your favorite things about being a girlfriend/boyfriend? What special benefits do you take advantage of in your situation?

Friday, January 25, 2013

"Soft-Core Friday" - Blondes vs. Brunettes Bowl

Happy "Soft-Core Friday" everyone! I figured it was better to get a post up late rather than never and until I opened my e-mail a few minutes ago, I was feeling rather uninspired today.

Luckily, the good folks at Tao, one of my favorite nightclubs in Las Vegas, decided I needed to know about the other big game going down in Vegas on Super Bowl weekend: The Blondes vs. Brunettes Bowl.

Now this is not a simple preference thing here folks, there is some skill and talent required to compete and be declared the victor in this mighty battle. Check out the flyer.

That's right...it's a girl on girl kissing contest. Best kissing pair of blondes or brunettes walks away with smeared lip gloss and $5000. Not a bad little prize for making out with a chick. Unfortunately, I don't fly in to Vegas until Friday...oh darn!

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

The day I was dreading has come

I'm not your usual "mommy blogger" as most of my shenanigan-filled posts would prove, but I love my daughter more than anything and struggle at times to know the right way to handle issues that come along with this most honorable and blessed job.

Today is one of those days.

As I was helping the princess get ready for school today, she put on her clothes, sucked in her stomach, and said "Mom, I feel like I'm..." and because we consider "fat" a not-very-nice word to use, she spelled F-A-T in the air with her finger instead of saying it out loud.

It knocked the air out of me. She's 7.

I had her come sit on my lap and I asked her a couple of questions like why she felt that way. She said that her belly is big and she doesn't like it.

I asked her if she was healthy. She said yes.

I asked her if she made good decisions about what she ate and if she ate healthy. She said yes.

I asked her if she was strong and if her body let her do the things she wanted to do. She said yes.

We talked for a minute about how each person, child or grown up, is made differently. Some are tall, some or short. Some are blonde and some are brunette. Some have blue eyes, some have brown. We are different in many ways and also similar in other ways.

Then I told her that her body is made exactly the way that God wanted her to be and that she was beautiful. That made her smile and then she was ready to brush her teeth and get on with her day.

She didn't make mention of it again. But it has been weighing on my mind really heavily today.

I knew that she would become aware of the differences in her classmates at some point and was hoping that she would just observe and accept that everyone is different, instead of making judgments of "better or worse than" or that being a certain height/weight/look was good or bad in comparison to others.

I was hoping, but I know better than that.

The truth is, she is bigger than most of her classmates. She is taller by a few inches and is solidly built. Not overweight, but not stick thin either. She is just solid. Just like I was at her age. And it was about the same time in my life that I realized, whether I noticed or one of the not-so-nice kids in my class decided to make sure I knew, that I was bigger than the other girls.

I decided that being bigger was "bad" and that I should be self-conscious about it. I should feel like I wasn't as good as the other girls that were thin and tiny and petite. I should be ashamed that I am wearing a bigger size in clothes and shoes and I should just accept that I wouldn't be as good as the other girls because I didn't fit in, literally.

This feeling wasn't a passing thing. It was something that dominated several years of my young life. I always felt like I was a "fat kid" and I still to this day hate to see pictures of myself when I was in that phase. My mom told me the same things that I'm telling my daughter now and I believed her until enough other people told me otherwise long enough and drowned out her positive perspective. I don't want my daughter to go through that but I'm pretty powerless to stop those outside influences from challenging her self-confidence on a daily basis.

When I hit about age 12, I grew another 4 inches and dropped weight to make me more of a tall "normal" girl as opposed to a "bigger" girl but I still always felt out of place. I still do most of the time to be honest with you and even though the logical part of me sees what's in the mirror, the insecure little girl in me still feels like I'm overweight, bigger, and thus "less than" others by comparison.

So my fear as a mother to a little girl that is very much like me, is how do I protect her from feeling the way that I feel about myself when she is 30 years down the road? How do I make today, and the years to come, about how strong and healthy and beautiful she is as opposed to how she is different than other girls? How do I keep my voice from being drowned out by other, louder voices of negativity?

I don't know.

Since she was was old enough to walk and eat solid food, we have focused on her being healthy. Staying active, playing hard, eating lots of fruits and vegetables and very little fast food or unhealthy foods in general. Her dad and I are both active people and we try to eat well, both for our own health, and to model healthy, active lifestyles for her. That is something that neither he nor I had while we were growing up so we want to do things better for our daughter. We don't talk in terms of weight but in terms of being healthy, making good decisions, and keeping our bodies strong. We agree it's the best way to make good decisions a life-long lifestyle for all of us.

The bottom line is that she is her mother's daughter, and as such, she is following in my biological footsteps as she grows and develops. I almost feel guilty about passing my genes down to her because with her dad and I, she was never going to be a tiny little petite girl, it's just not going to happen. I wish I had the tiny little petite girl genes to hand down to her, but I don't. I feel like she is being punished because she got my DNA. It's ridiculous I know. But it's how I feel on days like today.

My daughter is smart, healthy, hilarious, sassy, and beautiful. I hope that at the end of the day, that is what she sees when she looks in the mirror. Today, and every day of her life.

I'm open to any and all ideas from you guys on how I can continue to build her up, secure her self-esteem, and help her navigate the negativity that she is facing and will continue to have to challenge. What helped you when you were growing up to help combat some of the things that made you different? 



Friday, January 18, 2013

"Soft-Core Friday" - Membership has its Privileges

Happy Soft-Core Friday kids! It's my first one in a while so I thought I would make this a little interactive so be prepared to participate OK?

As you know, I've recently decided to be a girlfriend. Now with that esteemed title, I have been taking a look at the benefits package that comes with such a title. After all, there has to be some perks to throwing a label on a person right?

Here's what I have come up with so far:

  • I no longer feel compelled to constantly bust out my cutest nighttime wear. Cute yoga pants have given way to my flannel Ohio State pajama pants. And I'm not apologizing. Now, don't get me wrong, I don't plan to torture the poor guy with big full-coverage nightgowns or footie PJ's or anything quite so unattractive (at least not on a regular basis) so I keep the sexy underthings at the ready. But most nights? He's getting pajama pants.
  • No more online dating. I don't think that requires any further explanation. 
  • An auto-excuse to not attend anything I don't want to attend. I can use the handy "I have plans with my boyfriend" line and it's probably true. 
  • My family has quit worrying about me being single. If they only knew all the other things they should have been worried about over the past few years...
  • Consistently fantastic, on demand sex with someone I actually like being around outside of the bedroom. 
So that's the short list. I'm sure (hoping) that there are more rights and privileges that come along with this gig. 

What are your biggest perks from being labeled a "boyfriend" or "girlfriend"?  What am I not taking full advantage of that I should be? Any major pitfalls I should be looking out for? It's been a long time since I was some one's girlfriend you know?!? 

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Sooner or Later

It was bound to happen. I would come back. I missed you all too much not to come and see what happened at the party while I was away. I always miss the good ones! Anyways, it's been fun doing a quick catch up and I will dive a little deeper and show some comment love soon, you have my word!

In the mean time, I have been out living a little life here and there. A work trip, some quality time with Twin, and refocusing on a few key things like fitness and faith. All good stuff, but giving things my attention really takes a lot of time...and gives me less time to play on the interwebz so that kind of sucks a little.

I've finally decided to quit being such a pain in the ass and just be Twin's girlfriend. No caveat or asterisk to give me an out, leave my options open, and keep me from being really in. That's bullshit and I don't want to play that way any more.

Maybe that's maturity, or maybe it's just common sense. Whatever it is, it was time for me to quit being such a punk and give a little bit more of myself to a quality guy that has put an immense amount of effort into doing things right. I'm not waiting for an excuse to bail or betting that things will go awry. I'm going to give being happy with someone a try and see how that shakes out. Novel idea, I know.

It only makes me a little bit twitchy...

On other fronts, I'd like to get back into this writing stuff a little bit but have been lacking the inspiration (and peer pressure) to do so. I'm looking for someone to pose a good challenge to me so bring it on! Any ideas on how to help me kick my own ass into putting words together again?