Friday, August 16, 2013

"Soft-Core Friday": A Little Lazy & Narcissistic? I Have The Dating App For You!

Another SCF is upon us and not a moment too soon! I need a weekend my friends!

But before I shuttle off for cocktails and witty banter with another (hopefully) quality suitor, I wanted to take a minute and let you all know about a fairly new "dating" app called Tinder. Now I use the air quotes around the word dating because really, it's a stretch to call it a dating site.

Allow me to explain. The Tinder app is a lazy person's dream. To create a profile, all you have to do is is put in your Facebook log on, it pulls over your name, age, and up to 5 pictures that you can choose to display on your Tinder profile. Viola'! That's all there is to setting up a profile. You do have the option to add a description or tell potential dates a little about yourself but really, who needs to know anything about someone they might hook up with?

And unlike other pesky dating sites that make you take a personality quiz or checklist a detailed set of criteria that describes who you are looking for, Tinder makes it easy. You choose if you're looking for male or female, set your radius that you want you potential dates to be in proximity to you, and your preferred age range of profiles returned. That's it. No really, that's all the filtering criteria you can select. May the odds be ever in your favor.

Once your profile is set up and your 3 available filtering criteria chosen,  the fun really begins. The hook with Tinder is that you literally face no chance of rejection initially. Profiles appear and as quickly as you can swipe your finger left to reject someone or right to choose them, the next profile pops up for you to swipe to the winner or losers column.

The person doesn't know that you have right swiped them as a potential match until or unless they also right swipe you and then you get a little fanfare that you're a match and are prompted to start a conversation with that person to get the ball rolling. Should your hearts desire not find you to their liking and you get the dreaded left swipe, you are none the wiser leaving your fragile ego intact.

In theory, this sounds like a great idea. However, I know of people who will literally spend hours swiping hotties just to see how many have already selected them. It's validation in the worst way and does little else than inflate the already healthy egos of those that are on Tinder for sport.

It's not a bad way to kill a little time though when you are waiting in the doctor's office, stuck in stand still traffic, or having trouble falling asleep at night though I must admit. The sport aspect of "if I right swipe him, has he already right swiped me?" and the little "Booyaa!" moment of validation when you instantly get the celebratory clinking together of your profile pictures as Tinder announces there is mutual interest is a bit of a pick me up. Who doesn't want to feel wanted once in a while?

I've yet to determine the overall intentions of the majority of current Tinder users but I don't get the feeling that it's quite as skanky as a full on hook up site, nor is it quite as legit as an in-depth dating site either. To it's credit, I have gone out with a guy I "bumped in to" on Tinder and he was a solid guy and the date went well so I can't completely bag on it. But that was one out of 40+ matches in the short time I have been on. Most chat for a while with no real intention of actually meeting up or more times than not, it guys that are in town for a short period of time and are looking to entertain themselves with the local flavor while they are here.

I would venture to say that 90% of my single friends are on Tinder currently, which makes it a little awkward when you keep seeing people you know pop up to be swiped left or right. You don't want to left swipe them to oblivion because you are friends but you don't want to right swipe, find out you matched, and then have that awkward recognition and celebratory profile pic clinking moment either. It's a delicate dance I tell ya!

I approach my time on Tinder like I have my time on all the dating sites I have been on, with a mix of cautious optimism and morbid curiosity. If you're single and looking, give Tinder a try. If you're bored and curious, try it out as well. If you're looking for your soul mate, you may want to look elsewhere.


  1. I stopped using tinder a few weeks ago… too many douches for my liking lol. My coworker showed me and I’m a big fan of that over the others in terms of actually meeting people vs. just entertainment. It has a different approach that feels less sketchy cause you and your friends essentially act as “wingmen”. I like that it helps you find things to do too. Skout’s okay too, but still has it’s fair share of creepers

  2. Hmm, that sounds too much like a "hook-up" site rather than a dating site. It reminds me of POF. Besides, I gave up dating sites a couple of years ago due to exceeding my moron quota. :)

  3. Tonight, as I dined here in Chicago, I watched as an old man helped his ailing wife eat her dinner. I thought to myself that many young men today could learn the deeper lessons of love and friendship by the example of this man. There is no app for that kind of love, love which sees beyond the damage of age and into the fiber of an ancient kind of deep magic. ~ TLJ


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