Thursday, August 8, 2013

Expectations Not Met

How many times have you taken a customer service survey or filled out a product return form and seen the little box begging to be checked: Expectations Not Met

What about in relationships? How many relationships have ended and left you feeling like you need to check the box beside "Expectations Not Met" on the post-relationship survey? I would venture to say it could be applicable to every break up, fizzled out high-potential relationship, and divorce.

Can expectations ever really be met?

I look at my most recent failed relationship and I have to own the fact that a major component of that failure was not him actually lacking anything, it was me having expectations that he couldn't, in all fairness, really meet. Was that me setting him up for failure? Yes, yes it was. Was it me always giving myself an exit to run out of should I decide that it was getting too hard or too serious or requiring too much communication and openness from me? Yep, that too.

This is nothing new for me, for us. This is not the first break up. It's not the first time that I've been disappointed in how something was handled. It's not the first time my expectations haven't been met.

Will I do things differently next time? Probably not.

How do you manage expectation in you relationships? Have you ever broken up with a  perfectly good person because you can't let yourself be content with what's in front of you? Tell me about! 


  1. Hey darlin, this reminds me of something I penned the other day:

    "I still wait for her beside the sea. Only now I've come to realize that all along she may have been the sea."

    ~ The Lonesome Jackalope

    1. Too late to fix it at that point? I don't know. I understand the feeling of looking for something that I don't ever see, even when it's right in front of me. Sometimes the sight of my heart is as bad as my memory.

  2. I'm so much like you in the sense that I constantly set standards so high for people, that when they don't meet them, I'm beside myself and I bolt. Literally. I run and/or tell them to leave my life. I do this all the time and I can't seem to break out of the cycle. I know it's a coping mechanism, because I am so deftly afraid of getting hurt, or getting left. I think I do it so I'm the one that leaves. I've no answers for you, I'm sorry. I'm trying really hard to figure out what is wrong in my life that I feel I need to constantly do this. Because if I don't figure it out, I'm going to be alone the rest of my life.

    1. Well we are in the dark together on this one, my dear. I feel like I'm always half way out the dare someone love me unconditionally! That certainly can't be sufficient! I wish I knew how to fix me...


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