Let's catch up, shall we?
First things first. I'm no longer a "girlfriend". Yep, I know...shocking right? It's OK really. It was one of those things that just needed to be done. He was one of those guys that looked great on paper and represented even better in real life. He's everything that has been on my "list" and yet...something was missing. For everything that was right, there was that one, intangible thing that was just not there.
I realized that when I thought of next steps, which for us would have been getting engaged and moving in together, I was not excited. Not in the way that someone that was going to start a new life with someone should be. That made me really sad to be honest.
I wanted it to work. I wanted it to be him. It would be so easy and life would be good. But I would feel like I was settling and I want more for him. I want the girl he asks to spend the rest of his life with to be the most excited, happy girl in the world to say yes. And that wasn't going to be me.
He says that he is certain that we would be so good together. He said he is going to leave the door open to me, indefinitely. And that when I get my head out of my ass and realize that we are meant to have a good life together, he wants me to make that phone call because he's still all the way in. I won't be making the phone call. It just wouldn't be fair to either of us.
Yeah, so there's that.
I've been on a few dates since the break up. I'm not really looking to get into anything serious right now but it's nice to have a few shiny new distractions. Although, I feel I'm teetering precariously close to the edge of falling back into full-blown shenanigans mode again. Random Girl might be getting back to her roots soon...watch out kids!
But in happier news, I get to be a mommy again! I'm super excited. This time, it doesn't come with 9 months of drudgery or stretch marks. This one was easy! And she's super cute.
Here's my new fur baby!
I'll try not to be one of "those" puppy moms and plaster pictures of her all over the place but I make no promises. Look at that face!