Friday, October 19, 2012

"Soft-Core Friday" - A guest post with a little kink

Today it is my pleasure to have a great friend of mine do a guest post for all of you kids here at Random Girl.  You'll being hearing more from here as he continues to share his story with us all, it's a good one! Please join me in welcoming Mr. Mad Hatter!

I first want to thank RG for the opportunity to guest post on her blog. I have been a long-time follower of her shenanigans and through discussing our trials, tribulations, and mutual loft for toeing the line between bad and badass, I have discovered a dear friend.  Thanks again RG for letting me become a part of your dirty little universe. 

My personal story is one I feel many readers can relate to, particularly those who reside in a metropolis such as New York City – A committed relationship turned domesticated partnership more-so because it made financial sense rather than our eagerness to spend every free night with one another. Add in the fact that we have little to nothing in common, and live in a shoebox and our relationship was a recipe for disaster.

 During the year we spent as ‘live-in-lovers’ the communication had dwindled and the sex became non-existent.  In my pre-domesticated days I had always wanted to push the envelope in the bedroom – wanting to explore the female body as bringing a woman to climax was more pleasurable to me than getting-off myself. (This statement still holds true today as there is something about the moment which resonates deep inside of me long-after the clothes are back on and we are back to our normal routines.) However, since my days as a +1 I lost all eagerness to explore, to push myself in the bedroom and to find that sexual gratification I had been longing for.

It wasn’t long after I read RG’s SCF post on the world of kink that suddenly the inner workings of my deepest core started to sputter.  Prior to RG’s post I had no any idea what a cuckold was or that in the inner circle of this lifestyle it was an honor to become someone’s slave.  All of this intrigued me and I wanted to learn more.

I created a profile on a well established kink site and decided to see what the world had to offer.  I have no pre-existing history with the genre nor have I any idea what lies ahead. What I do know is that although comfortable in my sexuality I am in search for something – Maybe this is a short-term gain or a long-term lifestyle. Regardless of the end game I have let my curiosity take me away from the vanilla lifestyle and deep into the dungeons of the world known as Kink. I invite you to stay tuned as I will be updating my progress here on RG’s site.

Below is a song which I feel exemplifies my thoughts into the unknown world of kink – Happy SCF Everyone!

Rhiana S&M 

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

What I learned between Friday & Monday

Yes, I know it's almost the end of Wednesday. I had catching up to do, deal with it!

This weekend had me again on a plane headed west to one of my favorite places to hang with one of my favorite people. No, not Vegas, but it's just as good but in a totally different way. There are mountains, and I still got to shoot craps for a bit so maybe it's actually better than Vegas.

Instead of boring you with a slide show or long, wordy narrative, I'll just give you the list of things I learned this weekend. Deal?
1) I invented a very cool new word, and it's catching on. I won't tell you what it is, but you will probably hear it soon and know what I'm talking about
2) There are many ways to make a decision. The best is while having many margaritas and eating jalapenos.
3) Having  a picnic in the snow is more fun than you would think when you are at 10,000 ft with a spectacular view. And there's wine.
4) It's more fun to gamble when you are playing with someone else's money.
5) Unexpectedly meeting a published author/local hero in a dive bar in the middle of nowhere and getting a signed copy of his book can happen and it's kind of cool.
6) You can make an awesome and full weekend based around the concept of words.
7) I clearly do not understand most people's definition of art.
8) I am not very good at fixing technical issues in the middle of  day-long bar crawl.
9) If you have an address that is not found on GPS, the cab probably will never actually show up
10) Everything, and I mean everything, is better when shared with an amazing person.

Yes, sometimes there is a big fucking bolder in the middle of your road, find a way around it and get on to your adventure!

Monday, October 8, 2012

Everything I need to know about Kink I learned on Wikipedia

A funny thing happened this weekend on my way to, actually I wasn't going anywhere but a funny thing still happened.

I recently crossed paths with a guy who apparently enjoys the D/s dynamic when it comes to sexy time and for some reason, he has decided that I would make the perfect Dommes for him. Flattering right?!? The only problem is that a) I am not looking to be a Dommes at the moment (or ever) and b) I have no idea what would even come with that role nor do I necessarily want to.

But I'm a curious person by nature so if a guy opens himself up to me to share such a personal preference in rather vivid detail, I feel obligated to at least educate myself on the topic prior to casting a hard and fast judgement on the situation.

Upon our initial conversation (which he continually referred to me as goddess and/or his queen) he agreed to let me ask as many questions as I wanted knowing that I was going to fall on the side of "not interested" even before we started.

And he answered them all, not in a way that was sexual or that led me to believe he was getting off on it, he just openly shared how it works and his experience in the the D/s lifestyle. I appreciated his willingness to be so open because honestly, some of the stuff he explained to me was a little shocking, and it takes a lot to shock RG most of the time.

He explained that he is a cuckold. I had heard the term before but didn't really know all that was entailed. Essentially, thanks to his explanation and the super-reliable history of the term via Wikipedia, he enjoys the humiliation bestowed upon him by watching his Dom have sex with other men. This is not be confused with him wanting a threesome or being gay, which he doesn't and isn't, but is more about him receiving pleasure through basically being humiliated by his key holder being pleasured by another man as opposed to him. I don't get this concept at all but it is very much his thing.

That right there pretty much had me knowing I was 100% out. And I told him as much.

But he continued to oblige my questions with very open and detailed answers. So I kept asking because at this point, it was kind of like a car wreck that I couldn't look away from. Curiosity had gotten the better of me.

His particular take on the fetish is that he enjoys seeing his Dommes pleased by someone else. He also enjoys the process of helping her pick out a "well hung stud". He enjoys being completely controlled and essentially "sissified" by a woman in the bedroom. We are talking wearing women's panties and keeping himself restrained in a locked chastity device, not allowing release until he is told to by his Goddess, his key holder.

Sounds like a twisted form of torture to me but I guess that's kind of the point. Giving up complete control to someone is something I can't imagine myself doing, but I can see where it would be a bit of turn on in the right relationship and under the right circumstances. I just don't think that it's something I could put at a center of a relationship and feel fulfilled by that. But to each their own I suppose.

He claims to be a perfectly normal person in all other aspects of his life. He is educated, has a good job, owns his own house, is close with his family...all things I can relate to. He is just looking for someone that wants a committed, solid relationship and future with him, who can also fulfill his unique needs in the intimate part of the relationship.

I'm thinking dude, it's hard enough to find all of that when your tastes run closer to the mainstream, vanilla realm of sexual preferences, but throw in the D/s cuckold kink piece of the puzzle and I can appreciate how it may seem damn near impossible to find.

After our conversations and falling down the wikipedia-fueled rabbit hole of kinkery, I have learned a lot about what other people are doing in the bedroom. Frankly, it scares me a little but not as much as I thought it would. In fact some aspects are kind of a turn on. But, more importantly,  I have a new appreciation for the fact that other people are out there looking for their perfect match and for full acceptance of who they are and what they enjoy, whether it's fetish or kink or plain old vanilla.

Ultimately, that's what any of us want right? Someone who loves us unconditionally, kinks and all.

Photo Cred

Friday, October 5, 2012

"Soft-Core Friday" - That First Kiss

Happy SCF kids! I hope you are enjoying the onset of fall colors and the sunshine that is shining through them, it's my favorite time of year my friends! Although I know it will be a brief time for the blazing colors before the cold sets in and the trees go bare for far too long of a stretch, I savor each day until then.

I kind of feel like I'm going through my own change of seasons, and right now I'm going to start enjoying the vibrant new colors that come with the passing of time and the moving on to what's next.  I know, I've been horribly back and forth and here and there and everywhere in between as of late but that's how it goes for me sometimes. Uncertainty, when I know it's not because I'm afraid of something, tells me I need to keep  experiencing and looking and searching for what makes me feel at peace and happy. So I am.

I have a trip to one of my favorite places with one of my favorite people planned for the end of next week. That alone makes me giddy. I can't wait to get on that plane and have 3 days of greatness to sink in to. I know beyond any doubt that I will return with a new perspective, some great pictures of our adventures, and probably a few shopping bags of treasures I will pick up along the way. The next week can not pass fast enough for me. I'm ready to go now!

And because no RG post is complete without an update on my boy(s), I should tell you that after a good first date and then a seemingly impossible set of schedules that had me thinking there wouldn't be a second date, the good Doctor and I had a very last minute date #2 this week.  We met for a few cocktails on Wednesday night, and 3 hours later we were making out against my car in the dimly lit parking lot of a very classy bar.

It started as a soft, sweet, timid first kiss that quickly progressed to the type of kiss that leaves very little doubt as to the degree of attraction you have both decided exists between you. He has the softest lips...ever. It was greatness! Boys, get your chapstick action on, we appreciate it!

There are few things I love as much as anticipation of that first kiss, testing the theory I have about if/how we will click, and then knowing beyond a doubt that you do click, and well. He nailed it. Soft, yet with a sense of urgency and just enough aggression to make me confident that he would translate well into another more intimate setting should the occasion arise. It's like jumping the first major hurdle to figuring out if this guy is someone that I would consider seriously spending time with. All signs point to yes.

And we left it at that. Smiling, and a little breathless, we said goodnight and went our separate ways.

Could I have invited to go home with me? Yes. Did I? No. The old RG would have had him home and naked quicker than you can say "shut up and pull my hair" but not now. I'm in no hurry to take it to the next level, I'm just enjoying where it's at.

So on that note I bid you the loveliest of Soft-Core Fridays and wishes for a shenanigan-filled weekend!