Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Want to rock any event? I can help!

Happy Tuesday-that-feels-like-a-Monday to all my RG kids! I hope you all had a great weekend. I have a few stories to share from my 3 days off but that will be for another post. Today, I'm all about pimpin' my latest article for the sparkly and delicious Indie Chicks.

I'm helping you put your anxiety aside and prepare yourself to have a great time, no matter what the event or occasion is.  If I'm going to take the time and effort to get all gussied up, I want to make sure I have enough fun to justify the effort! I'm offering some pretty fool-proof tips on how to boost your confidence and maximize your fun not matter what the situation is.

Run over there and give me a comment or two. Then stick around and read the other fantastic articles, you won't be sorry!

Friday, May 25, 2012

"Soft-Core Friday" - Lost Without Me

Happy SCF kids! I hope that you are all gearing up for a wonderfully long and relaxing weekend. I know I am! I'm technically on vacation today but have already worked for 2 hours so I'm not sure how that happened, but I'm positive that my company super duper appreciates all of my efforts and that my hefty reward will be forthcoming...fingers crossed!

This week has been full of unexpected things. Like me having some sort of full blow love affair unfolding with Little Brother, or LB as he shall be referred to going forward since the Little Brother nickname seems to be weirding some people out. (Just to clarify, he is not my little brother nor is he the little brother of anyone I have dated or hooked up with. He is the 30-something y/o little brother of a guy I was friends with way back in the day and that is all, Randy swear!)

I have slept better each night having him here with me and the same is true for him he assures me. It's just kind of a comfortable groove we are in and although it's not traditionally how a relationship of any sort would start, I've never been one for doing things the traditional or expected way.

I have zero expectations for the situation though as things are going to just get more complicated in the upcoming weeks and months but for now, I'm enjoying the moments as they happen and looking forward to some solid quality time with him this weekend as we plan to spend the majority of it together.

Twin is not so excited about my new-found man however as it has sent Rec League into complete shut down. I'm not being shady about it, I believe in full disclosure so he knows exactly what is going on with me and LB and to say he is not happy about it would be an understatement. It was supposed to be strictly Rec League with Twin and I but based on his reaction, I'm guessing there was a little more attachment on his side of the equation than I was led to believe. I get tired of being the guy in these situations sometimes but I guess when you deal in non-traditional situations like I do, it is bound to happen on occasion.

He attempted to woo me back in part by delivering a few of my favorite things to me yesterday, including a bag of only Watermelon Jolly Ranchers, which he hand picked, because they are beyond my favorite candy in the universe. Punk move in my opinion! How am I supposed to resist that kind of peace offering?? Watermelon Jolly Ranchers are so incredibly good! We have a conversation pending as I was on my way out and couldn't talk at the time of goodie delivery. He might end up taking them back!

I again am slacking on the SCF preparation but since Robin Thicke is crooning falsetto on GMA right now, I'm going to make "Lost Without You" my song of the day. It's sexy-ish, as is he, and I don't mind sending myself into the weekend thinking about the possibilities. Don't be sad boys, there's a mostly naked chick in the shower in the video so you get your eye candy too.

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

The T-shirt Says It All

So my usually dull Monday was set ablaze with happiness yesterday when I ventured to the mailbox and found that finally my "Writes Like A Slut" T-shirt had arrived. I'm sure my neighbors didn't think a thing about it when I broke out into my crazy happy dance in the middle of the sidewalk while clutching my big white package.

And of course, you know that I had to run in and try it on so I could continue my happy dance while looking hot in my new gear! Yes I did!

Big Randy kisses to my sweet Kat for creating this awesome design and letting all of us who write like sluts show it loud and proud upon our chests.

If you haven't ordered yours yet, get over to Zazzle and do it now. There's a variety of styles and colors available already and more coming soon.

And just a little update on the goings-on with my newest boy, Little Brother. It appears he may actually be more than just a lovely piece of man candy. We have spent every night together since Saturday and it's a trend that seems to be set to continue. And believe it or not, it's not just for hooking up either! We actually seem to be a little smitten with each other. Hmmm....a little unexpected twist! We shall see....

Monday, May 21, 2012

A Different Kind of Networking

It's probably a good thing the weekend is over because I think I would have gotten in real trouble if given an extra day with too much free time on my hands. It was that kind of weekend, kids!

I'm trying to think of the long-story-short way to tell this but I can't really come up with one so you just have to humor me and commit to the story in whole.

It started innocently enough on Friday night with me having made plans with Jr. High Crush earlier in the week for us to meet up on Friday. Just. As. Friends. He knows that I'm not the girl that will reciprocate what he wants and I continuously tell him to move on. Whether or not he listens is very much in question but at least I told him he needed to focus his efforts elsewhere. And not in the cryptic girl way, I flat out, no room for questions for sure for sure told him straight out: it's not happening.

So back to the story. I met Jr. High Crush and two of his friends out to watch the Celtics game. Not because I care about it, but because they did and I'm a giver like that. Towards the end of the game, one of his friends left, but I was told we would be joined by another of his friends shortly. It was actually the little brother of a guy I used to be good friends with in High School, Jr High Crush's best friend. I remember the little brother vaguely as an annoying little kid that wouldn't leave us alone when we had a party at their house Freshman year. And I hadn't thought a thing of him sense.

Well let me tell you kids, time has been extremely kind to Little Brother. In fact, he has far surpassed the hotness level that his older brother peaked at. It was a pleasant surprise to have him join us.

We watched the rest of the game, had a few more drinks, and laughed like we were twelve. It was a lot fun. So much so that the three boys joined me at my next location, a birthday party at a bar for one of my co-workers. The fun continued on and I actually left earlier than they did to head home.  I thought I detected a little flirtation coming from Little Brother's direction but I played it off as my ego running away with me again and didn't think too much of it. I figured that would be the end of it.

But of course, you guys know it can't just be that simple. A FB friend request from him and a few emails later, Little Brother was inviting me out the next night. We met at his house for a bonfire, was joined by a few of his friends, and then were left to our devices later in the evening. Did I mention he had grown up into a very handsome guy?  Yeah, know...

I left early the next morning to face down a day of drudgery not really knowing if it would be a one and done type thing or if we would be seeing each other again. I was OK with it going either way to be honest. I'm moving in a month and don't plan on bringing any extra "baggage" with me when I do. But I admit it was nice to hear from him later in the morning and a few times throughout the day. He ended up coming over last night and not leaving until his alarm went off for work this morning so I guess it wasn't one and done. Maybe two and done.Who knows? I'm not so good at predicting the future.

What I can predict is that when, and it is a matter of when not if, Jr High Crush figures out that Little Brother and I are better acquainted that he had intended for us to be with the innocent invite for us to watch the game together, he's probably going to decide to believe me when I tell him he needs to move on. It's not like I didn't warn him...

Friday, May 18, 2012

"Soft-Core Friday" - Just because I can

Happy "Soft-Core Friday" kids. This one really snuck up on me because I have been at least a day behind all week long so my apologies for getting this up a little late today.

There is all sorts of chaos swirling around in Random Girl land right now but I will spare you the boring details and instead, treat you all to some mindless eye candy material.

One of my life-long girlfriends called me this week. She need my commitment. That I would accompany her to the this movie, Magic Mike. Of course, for no reason other than a complete sense of duty, I said yes. I'll find a way to suffer through it, but it will be tough. Channing and Matthew oiled up and shirtless? How will ever make it through?
Ladies, watch this trailer. Now.

You're Welcome.

Also, because she's awesome and knows I have a girl crush on her, Angie from Angie Uncovered had the sweetness to bestow this award on your's truly. Thanks for the blog loving Angie!  There weren't any rules posted for it so I'm doing nothing with it other than smiling at it with pride. I'm sure that's what was intended.

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Sex shop? We're not afraid of no stinkin' sex shop!

So the lovely ladies at The Indie Chicks have been nice enough to welcome me back to take over some space at their place again today! I love those girls!

This time, we are taking a trip to the sex shop, or as some people prefer to refer to it, an "adult novelties" store. I got the privilege of introducing a friend to the idea for the first time. It was not without a few highlight moments.

Be a doll (not a blow up a doll, just a regular one) and run over there and show me some love mmmmkay?

Friday, May 11, 2012

"Soft-Core Friday" - The Perfect Gift for Mom

Happy "Soft-Core Friday" to you all! Don't forget that Mother's Day is Sunday. The woman brought you into the world, make sure you treat her right so she doesn't threaten to take you out of it...amiright?!?

Saturday Night Live is always full of great ideas for special occasions. This year's Mother's Day suggestion? Well, it's 50 Shades of Grey of course! Nothing says "Happy Mother's Day!" like mommy porn!

I thought this skit on SNL was pretty hilarious and also pretty appropriate because I think almost every woman I know, myself included, has either read or is in the process of reading that book at the moment.

If your mom has a sense of humor or an appreciation for...great's an idea for you!
(The video quality on this one is not great, the good one wouldn't link for some reason but you can YouTube it and find the good quality one, I'm not tech smart enough to figure out the problem)

I also have a little more heartfelt take on Mother's Day posted up at The Indie Chicks today as well. Do me a favor and go check it out please! And as always, comment love is greatly appreciated! 

In addition the the SNL video above, I wanted to share another video today. My sweet Kat shared this in a very touching post she did this week and honored the late  Beastie Boy's member Adam (MCA) Yauch who passed last Friday after a three year battle with cancer.  His music was a staple in the soundtrack of my youth and this tribute by Coldplay takes a beautiful spin on a party anthem I shouted out and jumped around like a loon to too many times to count. Enjoy!

Sunday, May 6, 2012

Getting What You Want the Right Way

Everybody wants to get what they want, that's a given. But knowing the right way to get it is something not everyone is clued in to.

Well, fear not kids! I'm helping you get what you want...more of me! No seriously, go check out my latest article up at The Indie Chicks right now and feel free to show me a little comment love pretty pretty please!

Friday, May 4, 2012

"Soft-Core Friday" - The Return of Hotel Sex

Happy SCF kids! After digging out from under the pile of work that accumulated over the week I had the nerve to take vacation, I am very glad to see Friday come!

If you haven't checked out my first article at The Indie Chicks yet, get over there now and show me some love! It could totally be a SCF post all on it's own and I know how you like that!

Speaking of SCF worthy topics, I promised you guys that I would fill you in on the hotel sex goodness that came with my little getaway last week and I'm a girl of my word.

As you know, I took Twin with me on vacation for a little travel Rec League action. It wasn't originally planned that way and was very much a last minute situation that just kind of worked out. It was a good decision for several reasons, not the least of which being 6 nights (and a morning or two) of fantastic hotel sex.

I've posted before about how much I enjoy sex in hotels. Not seedy, rent by the hour joints, but really nice hotels/resorts. I can't explain it, there's just something I like about it. Maybe it's the thought that there are so many other people so close by yet have no idea what's going on in our room. Maybe it's the change of scenery or the great view that often comes with a nice room. Or maybe it's just knowing that someone else has to wash the sheets when we're done. Or it could be the combination of all of things. Either way, hotel sex is always a notch better than sex at home for me. With Twin, that makes it really, really good!

We were on a mission to take full advantage of the hotel sex element and regardless of how tired we were or how long of a day we had, we didn't miss an opportunity. This particular room was a great choice because it was a) very big b) had lots of strategically placed mirrors c)had a very large jacuzzi tub in the master bath and d) had a semi private balcony that was just perfect for creating the risk of being seen yet affording us just enough privacy to not get arrested. It was really a "I love hotel sex" girl's perfect set up.

It was a good vacation!

I can't be the only one who finds it a tad bit hotter when getting busy in a hotel room can I? Where is your "go to" place where you know sex will always be just a little bit better?

And because no SCF post is complete without a cheesy video of some sort, today I'm letting you all enjoy a little jail bate-esque action (he's 18....I Googled it) and nod your head to the newly released Justin Bieber video for Boyfriend.

I love me some Biebs....don't hate! And it's only a little disturbing that both I and my 6 y/o princess fight over him.

Thursday, May 3, 2012

Taking things into my own hands with The Indie Chicks

It's for real this time kids, I'm in love.

The new Indie Chicks website has me completely smitten! So much so that I am signing on as a contributor and will be opening myself up to them with reckless abandon. So totally unlike me!

My first article is up today and I'm laying it all out there right from the beginning. No baby steps here people, we are going straight for the full frontal. Well, more like "hands on" but you'll see what I mean when you link over there now and check out my article.

The only problem with this new relationship is that it's not monogamous. We are both kind of still seeing other people but we have worked out an arrangement that is to both of our liking. And we get to share awesome writers like Kat & Jewels...and by share I mean...we both get to enjoy our "special" time with these ladies. It's a win/win really.

So go meet my lover. Introduce yourself, pour yourself a drink, and get comfortable...I'm thinking you will want to stay awhile.

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

And the party rages on, just pretend I'm not here

A girl goes away for a week or so and wouldn't you know friends break in and throw the most awesome party while I'm away! I always miss all the fun!

Thank you for the fantastic guest posts and for keeping the comment love flowing while I was on hiatus. I think I might keep the guest post thing going once in a while though because it was a lot of fun and gives me an excuse to be lazy for day, both of which are good things in my opinion.

I'll be sharing some of my vacation shenanigans for SCF because you know if it involves me, Twin, and a hotel room, there are some fun things to be shared.

In the meantime, I'm going to turn my space over to another guest poster who got the shaft on my vacation rotation. This guy and his wiley mustache and southern draw could charm the pants off just about anyone so consider yourself warned!  The Blue's all yours babe!


Writer’s forward: My thanks to my dear Random Girl for giving me the house keys to the house of her blog site for a moment. I hope that my madness herein does little to dissuade her own loyal readers from a hearty following. As to my own readers over at The Blue Orchid of Texas, please show her a little love for allowing me to roam free over here for a moment. 

Your Hair is a Mess

I confess that this writing of this piece started off down a path only to wander across a couple of fields, jump a fence or two and then land only generally in the area from which it sprung. All of that to say that perhaps you should take care when you start digging or you might end up hitting a water main and then blowing water everywhere. My original idea was thus; that in general, as a society we make a pretty damn big fuss about our bodies, our sexuality and our attitudes towards both. We spend an enormous amount of time, energy and money on our attempts to satisfy our urges to find a sense of balance and happiness in those areas. But it seems that everything points to the simple truth that we are more desperately unhappy than ever before with everything in our personal and corporate baskets of selfhood. Why?

For anybody still reading, let me make something perfectly clear: I’m not claiming to have all the answers, alright? For all the answers you are going to have to wait until November until the folks with all the answers start writing prescriptions to the Nation. No, I’m just someone who is always asking questions about why we seem so willing to be hurtful to ourselves and others over things that should be natural, fun and even relaxing. Also, this piece of my mind seems to be mainly focused on women readers as I’m convinced that they are pretty much catching the brunt of our society’s increasingly costly and often foolish demands upon ourselves. So, guys I know that we feel the heat sometimes too but honestly I think it’s the ladies that are dancing on the coals right now.

I’m not na├»ve enough – well only slightly but damn if it’s not self-imposed – to believe that any one particular generation had a leg up on another one but I’m going to step out and say that at the very least, there were generations before us that seemed to be a bit more relaxed about their bodies, sexuality and even attitudes than we are today. Do you think that it’s possible that in the rush to “fix and improve upon ourselves” that we have actually tipped over the wagon and fallen into an ugly patch of narcissism and self loathing?

As you consider that, I need to let you know that I don’t blame you for perhaps feeling displaced and a bit unsettled in your self-hood. In the last twenty years or so, our culture has become listless and in the absence of facing any real distraction of hardship (sorry old sport but the so-called “Great Recession” was not the Great Depression that my Grandparents went through) has taken to worrying on itself like a skinny dachshund on rib bones. So, if it’s possible that our culture is living “bored” in a culture of entertainment then does that explain why we are such jerks to ourselves? Partly, but I think but there is some other baggage we like to carry around with us as well.

Now I’m a big fan of word pictures but I’m going to slap a warning label on myself before I even broach this one because I suspect some of the ladies out there – maybe men too – will instantly knee jerk on me and point out that the “good old days” weren’t always so good and had plenty of drawbacks. Fine. OK, granted but still I would like for you to consider our Grandmothers.  Certainly there were loads of cultural norms and expectations upon them that we simply don’t have to endure today but there were also freedoms from self imposed rituals and cultural demands that they enjoyed. Consider even the smallest of “norms” for women’s bodies today. Aside from cultural pressure to be skinnier, lighter skinned across every inch of your bodies and have perky breasts that tear at the very fibers of your sweaters you are increasingly being told that being completely hairless is beautiful. Loreal, be afraid. Be very afraid.

While today we may roll our eyes at women’s bodies having hair on them, have you considered the desperation that has been built up around making women feel awkward and even embarrassed to have what was once considered to be normal and natural body hair? I remember back in the seventies when the first Nair products began to surface that women found it novel and of benefit to be able to soak their legs in this lovely noxious fluid to spare them of having to shave their legs. Fast forward to today and women feel like they have to take every single bit of hair off their bodies – save their heads –for now anyway.

Now, don’t hear what I’m not saying. I think that some grooming is a fine thing and I’m certainly only partly with the French on their version of a “natural woman”. There is something to be said (a lot) for a smooth pair of legs in stockings (held up by a lovely garter belt of course) and I’d prefer for my lady friends to not have more hair under their arms than I do. Still, that doesn’t make body hair a bad thing on women. It’s just a personal preference in my opinion. Having a preference shouldn’t translate into a taboo on the other side of the spectrum. Honestly, I’d rather be around a woman who is perfectly comfortable with some hair on her body than one who is frantically obsessed with having it all constantly removed.

And if you are a guy who is blazing down the hair removal highway then God love you but really just consider what the unrelenting vanity is costing you – not in dollars so much as in an appropriate body self image. Having said that, if you in fact have more body hair on you than your average werewolf then OK, fine maybe a little trim would do you some good.

Somewhere lost – and whimpering now – in America’s now seven billion dollar a year habit to beautify itself is a voice of reason, a reassurance that you are actually a lovely work of art now, even before the Photoshop of our cultural demands catches up to you. Today, now – will you please just take a long minute to appreciate yourself before all the voices around you take their cut and tell you that you need to just do this one more thing to be beautiful?


Now go fix your hair – it’s a mess.