Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Feeling Missed

There is something painfully beautiful about knowing that someone misses you. And there is something painfully sad about knowing that someone does not.

When someone misses you, it implies that you held value to them. That you somehow, in some way, matter in their life. And you not being part of it, for any amount of time, is noticed. Your absence is felt. Your space is left vacant and held sacred, awaiting your return.

I want someone that will me miss me when I'm not there, not because of what they don't have when I'm gone, but because of what they want to have return to them.

I want to feel missed.

Something kind of like this song: "Ass Back Home" by Gym Class Heroes ft. Neon Hitch

Sunday, January 29, 2012

A First Kiss - 20 years in the making

I have always believed in the saying that "Timing really is everything" and I have referenced it many times here at RG. This weekend confirmed that to me that the saying really is spot on.

Here's why:

As you know from my SCF post, Twin and I are on the outs. We are actually on the outs more than we aren't and that's why it's over. For real this time. I don't do drama, I will cut and run every time before I sit and suffer through a drama-filled waste of time. Be gone.

Saturday night had been booked for a while. A friend of a friend was going out for her birthday so we were joining in the festivities. I was looking forward to just going out, dancing a bit, and enjoying myself. Being newly single, I was also glad to be free of the obligation to explain myself or apologize for anything.

I had recently reconnected with a guy that I have known (and had a crush on) since I was 10 years old thanks to face book. We went to different schools but had been friends and hung out off and on throughout most of our Jr High and High School years but other than getting an update on him from mutual friends once in a while, I hadn't physically seen him in at least 15 years. That changed on Saturday night.

We made plans to try and run into each other at some point during the night and run into each other we did. He picked me out of the crowd instantly and we picked up easily where we left off 15 years ago, catching up on life and divorces and kids and the like. It was really good to see him. And he looked really good. He really hasn't changed at all.

We were both there with a bunch of friends so our groups merged and we spent the rest of the night on the packed dance floor having a lot of laughs and being silly, and working in a few moments of excellent sexual tension throughout the night.

Our groups headed out at the same time so he walked me to my car, said he was really glad we met up and suggested we do it again soon with slightly less company along for the ride, and then we kissed.

Yep, after 20 years of crushing on the guy, I got the first kiss.

Now you guys know that I'm usually not super attached to things of a sexual nature and that I can work it as recreation as well as relationship affirming and make a case for it either way, depending on how it suits my argument. But I'm going to let this kiss (well ok, we kind of ended up making out a little) stand alone as something I liked and was good being just exactly what it was....long overdue.

Friday, January 27, 2012

"Soft-Core Friday" - When A Guy C*ck blocks Himself at the Worst Possible Time

Happy "Soft-Core Friday" kids! I'm not sure what is up but this week has been one of the longest and most annoying weeks in recent history so I for one am beyond thrilled to see it teetering on the edge of being gone. Good riddance suck-ass week!

I was hoping to have my super-awesome review of my Masque use experience (the oral sex enhancer, in case you missed the previous history on this lovely product, click here) but low and behold, Twin decided that instead of enjoying a night of oral pleasure as I tested out the various flavor samples that the company sent me, he would rather cock block himself and pick a fight with me. Excellent choice sir. Instead of having assisted me in completing my "research" I was all geared up to do, he enjoyed the cold shoulder the entire night.

Now, in his defense, he's not a complete idiot. He didn't purposely blow the opportunity to be on the receiving end of my research, he had no idea what I was planning. I am assuming that had he been clued in prior to his arrival, he would have taken a slightly different tone with me for the evening, just a hunch.

So the research and review of Masque are still pending but I assure you, will be completed soon, one way or the other. I'm a crafty girl, I'll figure out a way to make it happen.

Did I mention I leave for Vegas exactly one week from today???

In more fun news, a big thanks to Brandon (aka Ida_homie on the twitters, follow him, he's funny) for his shout out to your's truly on his post today about bad hotel sex. Get over there and read it.

Today's SCF featured video is from none other than the amazingly sexy and hilarious  Lady Estrogen. She completely rocked this video and it's sexy and emotional and awesome. If you don't follow Lady E or her work, you need to. She has more inappropriate stories than I do, that's why I love her!

Enjoy "Hangover Square"

Monday, January 23, 2012

It's here! It's here!

Oh happy day! My samples of Masque have arrived, first class no less. These folks aren't messing around. I got the full blown (pun intended) press pack, stock photos, and of course, the nicely packaged samples.Up first, Mango and Watermelon flavors.

Let the testing begin!

If you have no idea what I'm talking about...catch up already will ya? Click here to get up to speed!

Friday, January 20, 2012

"Soft-Core Friday" - Smirking at the Ex

Happy SCF kids! I hope you have all had the loveliest of weeks. I'm still stuck in a living snow globe which kind of sucks but with Vegas (and all the shenanigans that will be accompany me there) in a mere two weeks, I'm smiling and dealing with it.

Today I picked the song before I picked the post topic. It will make sense after you listen to the song. Basically the premise is that you run across your ex and can honestly say  "yeah, you may be with your new girl/guy now but we both now that the sex was better with me". So take that!

Have you ever been in that situation? You see your ex out with their latest and greatest new gf/bf and you get an immense amount of satisfaction out of knowing that they aren't getting it nearly as good as they did when he/she was with you?

How would you know, you might be asking. Trust me, you know. And if you have a guy or girl that you know you blew their mind when you were together, it's something they are going to be missing. Or in some cases, you get the confirmation via a text from the ex, that basically confirms your assumption exactly. Granted, that text is usually followed by a "so can I see you?" or something not quite as polite because they can't really handle not getting it the way you used to give it to them.

It's one of those "eat your heart out moments" that are few and far between but pretty sweet when you get to have one. So just smile, smirk, say no thanks, and keep right on walking

This song today is the perfect example of what I'm talking about. It's "Fuck You Betta" by Neon Hitch. Probably best if not played at work....

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

He tastes so....fruity! (Update)

Hey kids, this is just something I ran across in the esteemed publication of Cosmo and thought it would be an interesting conversation starter. And, for lack of anything more substantial to post today, we are going to talk about this.

As I was learning about guy's "Most Shocking Confessions" and how to make the same pair of cute boots double as both day and night worthy, I saw a full page ad with the tagline "Cupid Has Nothing On Us."
Intriguing huh?  Well, it gets better. It's for a product called Masque that "is the first product proven to CONCEAL any unpleasant flavors associated with pleasuring your man and his subsequent climax.'


There's a market for everything. And this proves it.

So after doing research on their website, I found that these little orally-dissolvable flavored gel strips come in 4 delightful flavors: chocolate, strawberry, watermelon, and mango. Yum.

The premise is that the partner performing said oral pleasure would let the strip dissolve on their tongue prior to starting, and it gives you up to 15 minutes of man-flavor free action.  It does specify that this is for female-on-male oral, not the other way around but I'm assuming you could go off label if you wanted to.

I'm skeptical.

So I did what any intrepid blogger would do: I e-mailed the company for samples in return for a real life review on RG.  We'll see what they say. If they send them, I promise to do my due diligence on all the available flavors and let you know what I think. It's $12 for a 3 pack in case you are interested.

So what do you think of the idea? Ladies, would you be more enthusiastic about going down on your man if he tasted like strawberries or mango?  Guys, are you insulted by your girl wanting to cover up your natural manly tasting stuff?

Don't tell me you don't have an opinion on this because I know you better than this!

UPDATE: I was contacted by the PR company that handles media requests for MASQUE. They are delighted that I would like to sample and review these tasty bits so they are hooking me up with the full flavor line and I will be giving them my honest critique after giving them a real life go. 

Someone is going to be a very happy guy! 

Friday, January 13, 2012

"Soft-Core Friday" - Boy Toy to Just a Friend, can it happen?

Happy SCF kids! I hope you all are staying warmer than I am right now. Apparently Winter decided to show up overnight and if the snow wasn't bad enough, how about 30mph winds on top of it? Yep, looks like I'm living in a snow globe. Oh well, I'll be in Vegas 3 weeks from today, that's the light at the end of my winter hell tunnel today.

Today's "Soft-Core Friday" idea was still brewing in my brain this morning when I got on the Twitters and saw that my darling Alyssa had an issue she wanted me to tackle. Of course, I loved it so off we go!

She tweeted:  hey, if you're in need of a  post, I'm in need of some Randy Girl help! Can you turn a  into an *actual*?

The answer is yes & no. Helpful right? Let me explain (and I'm talking only from my specific experience on the topic so take it for what it's worth).

If you are in a situation where the two of you started off just as a hook up, like you met on a night out, took a first date to end game, or were basically virtually strangers who decided to have sex when given the opportunity, it might be a little tricky to try to then cool things off and stay strictly in the friend zone. There was no real level of commitment or interest outside of sex to start things off, so there might not be a lot of common ground to base a friendship on after the sex cools off.

It's not impossible, but it's not likely. Unless the two of you had integrated some non-sex time and conversations into your "boy toy" situation, you will probably find yourself bored with him once real life starts to creep into your sex-only situation. However, if you did allow him to share a little and did likewise with him throughout the course of your hook ups, you might find that you actually do like him and what he is about and would be interested in keeping him around as a friend when you aren't in the bedroom.

If you are converting a friend or acquaintance into a boy toy, then the likelihood that you could go back to being friends when the bedroom shenanigans are over is more likely. You already know him and like him and obviously have somethings you can appreciate him, even before sex comes into the picture. Those things most likely won't go away after you have hooked up, although they might evolve a little or get awkward depending on how the sex was. Let's be honest.

In my experience, a friend-to boy toy - to friend cycle happens usually with someone that I value as a friend, we both find ourselves single at the same time and since we already think the other one is awesome we decide to entertain ourselves for a while, and then when one of us starts seeing someone else, it's game off in the bedroom but the friendship remains.

I'm not saying it's normal, I'm just saying that's how it has played out for me in the past. This set up only works if you can both remain emotionally unattached and if you both know that the sex is strictly temporary and for recreation, not an attempt to convert the situation into a full-blown relationship.

Hope that helps a little!

Do you have any experience with the boy toy/girl to friend conversion? Share kids!

And since I like to include a topic-appropriate with my SCF posts, here is today's.  It's pretty perfect for the "boy toy turned friend gone wrong" situation. It's my current "awful but favorite" song. Listen all the way through, it's the last line that kills it.

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Do you have a price? These people think so...

What's your price?

"Price for what?" you are probably asking. And rightly so. According to, every person has their price for what a date with them is worth. And they are bold enough to let you name your price, and even make your date pre-pay to spend time with you. Clever or insanity? You decide.

The tagline is that they "Buy & Sell First Dates". So, kind of like ebay, only for people to go on a date with? I'm not sure but I'll check it out in further detail and let you know what I find. I'm intrigued and slightly horrified.

They have the site split into two segments: one for the "Generous Users" and one for the "Attractive Users".  I think "users" is the operative term here.

I can't take credit for stumbling onto this gem. I owe my...thanks... to Anderson Cooper (aka the Silver Fox) for spotlighting this useful little nugget.

Here's a little snippet from their website:

As for the attractive singles who are tired of wasting their time dating losers, we have thousands of generous gentlemen (and women), waiting to take you out on a real date. Even if your date turns out to be a dud, you will be compensated for your time. is taking the science out of dating, because really it’s all about economics. Dating is about supply and demand, quality over quantity. We know what it takes to capture the attention of a beautiful girl, but after that first date, the rest is up to you.
So, what’s your price?

Now as for credibility of the site, I can't speak to that other than what they have self-promoted. But here are a few of the blogs they say they support so do the math..
Dating guide blogs we support:

Monday, January 9, 2012

So was that "break up sex" or "make up sex"?

On the last episode of Random Girl theater, I was in the midst of a super-annoying situation with Twin and was uncertain if I would be seeing him as planned Saturday night or if I would be staying in with a bottle of something and a good playlist. Thank you all for your lovely comments by the way! In case you were curious how the night shook out, wonder no more.

After I declined the family dinner invite, he decided we would stay the course and go out for dinner alone as we had planned. I had made up my mind that I was indeed breaking it off with him by the end of the night. Of course it was imperative that I looked extra smokin' hot for the occasion as to torture him even more as he realized he wasn't getting it anymore. Evil I know, but hey I'm a girl... what do you expect?

Dinner was pleasant. We played nice, kept the conversation high level and free of drama or sensitive topics and had a nice time.  On the way home he asked where we were staying for the night, his place or mine? That's where it got awkward. I told him that I thought it was best if he just dropped me off at home. That resulted in stunned silence as he realized I had not intention of us ending the night together.

"The conversation" ensued. He agreed several of my points were valid, I conceded to several of his points as well. It was quite civil. The long and short of it is that he wants to feel more pursued by me and be a bigger priority in my life and I don't really feel that I can give him what he needs. We were very grown up about the whole thing.

By then, we had pulled in my driveway and were at that point where it was time to make a decision on how the night would end. We had taken dessert to go, so he suggested that we go inside and at least enjoy that together. That led to the "why not one last night?" idea as we both conceded that sex was the one thing with us that still worked perfectly and it would be a shame to waste that opportunity.

And perfect it was. Better than any time previously even, which is saying a lot. Go figure. We spent most of the night, a good portion of the morning, in the shower, and again after the shower on the part of our relationship that had nothing to complain about. And then we went to brunch smiling and acting very much like a couple that was still together.

We went our separate ways for a few hours to attend to errands and then he was back again for the afternoon.

Epic. Break up. Fail.


Now what??

As a side note, we both still acknowledge that although things work well naked, we still have issues with our relationship when we have clothes on. Good sex does not a relationship make. Neither one of us is offering any solutions for that problem at this time, but we both know it's there and that it isn't going away.

Stay tuned!

Saturday, January 7, 2012

The Screw Up Fairy strikes again

I'm aggravated. I'm in trouble again. Apparently Twin has expectations that I'm supposed to meet, which is cool, except that I don't know what those expectations are until I fail to meet them and then he's mad and/or pouty. Really dude? Let's play fair shall we?

I won't go into the details of this particular incident because really it's almost too stupid to bother typing. But I can tell you this isn't the first time I've been on the receiving side of a tantrum because I failed to meet expectation. I'm kind of over it.

While I was venting my frustration with Jewels and Alyssa on Twitter this evening, this song came up on my playlist on Spotify and really, it's pretty perfect for the mood this situation has put me in at the moment.  It's "Sleep to Dream" by Fiona Apple. It's a good F' You song and I rather connected with it today.

My favorite lines?
Don't make it a big deal
Don't be so sensitive
We're not playing a game anymore
You don't have to be so defensive.

Amen, Fiona... Amen!

I agreed to keep our dinner plans despite my annoyance. The plan was to continue our discussion then. But as I was typing this, he texted me to change plans again... dinner with his fam.  I shit you not. Umm no thanks.

Maybe I'll just stay in with a good playlist and a bottle of something for the night. Sounds quite nice!

Friday, January 6, 2012

The return of "Soft-Core Friday" - Naked Break Time and Snuggle Punches

Happy "Soft-Core Friday"! Yes, it's finally back! I know it has been a minute but let's do this shall we?

So I'll get to the Snuggle Punch thing in a minute, but first, I'm going to go for the fun stuff if you don't mind.

So you kids know how much I enjoy "the morning quickie" but if you forget, click on the link for a refresher. I have also decided that I quite enjoy the afternoon delight. Don't get me wrong, it's not as if I was unfamiliar with it or opposed to it until recently, it was just that I was never with someone that had the flexibility in his schedule to get in on the quality time in the middle of the day. But Twin does. And I'm liking it.

Yesterday, Twin offered to bring me lunch and then have a work-from-home afternoon together. It was a good offer so I took him up on it. Lunch was delicious and we both worked diligently for the bulk of the afternoon at our respective job duties. And then it was break time. So we took a break. A naked break at that.  Needless to say, break time ran a little over as we got....distracted.

But it was so totally worth having to work late to finish up what I had left undone prior to our break. And we will be doing it again. Frequently if I get my way. Which I usually do. *wink*

Now, onto the more humorous part of SCF... the Snuggle Punch.  It's a movement that came about as recently as yesterday as a result of a conversation with my Sweet Kat on the Twitter.  I invite you to stand with us and Snuggle Punch anyone that deserves it.

Here's how it started:

Is it wrong that I want to punch the Snuggle bear straight in the face every time the commercial comes on? 

 Is it wrong that I punch a random person straight in the face every time the Snuggle commercial comes on?

 From now on whenever someone pisses us off we shall say 'Do you want a random snuggle punch, asshole?'

 Oh that's an excellent idea. I guess really anyone would do as the recipient of the Snuggle punch.

I really do hate that Snuggle bear. He enrages me with his fluffy sweetness. He truly makes me want to Snuggle punch him, or a random passerby, every single time the commercial comes on. I'm glad I'm not the only one. Join the Snuggle Punch movement! 

And if you aren't following Kat and I on Twitter, you can see the quality fun you are missing out on so get on it OK??

Happy "Soft-Core Friday" kids! I hope you find a shenanigan-filled way to spend it! 

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Back to the Shenanigans

Wow, I'm having a hard time getting back on the self-motivated posting wagon after having the great reverb11 prompts spoon fed to me for a solid month. That was kind of nice, I have to admit. But I shall do my best to keep you kids entertained all by my big girl self for a while.

Because I was so busy playing along with reverb11 like a good girl, I neglected to fill you in on any of the personal situs going on during that time. And let's face it, we both know you just read RG because of the shenanigans.

So the month of December brought a few interesting things my way. First, an  update on Twin. We are still together. (Yes, I hear the collective gasp). We didn't holiday together with the families because, as I did share at the time, my ex hubs moved in for a few days and we got to play pretend with each other's families because we are still awesome like that. Bringing the Twin along with the ex hubs would have probably been a little awkward. We still celebrated, we just had our own little thing going on. I kind of prefer it that way to be honest.

We kept it low key for NYE, dinner, drinks, and rang in the New Year in proper style... in bed. Let's just say the fireworks show downtown was well-timed. It made for some awesome bad jokes later in the night. We crack ourselves up!

Here's the problem with Twin, I have finally figured it out, I really really like him when we are in bed. It's when we are functioning in real life that I'm not so sure about things. Is it possible to turn a boyfriend back into a boy toy? Because if so, that would be awesome. I'm thinking it probably won't work that way though. More on that thought process in a later post.

And it wouldn't be a shenanigans post without Fireman right? Well, no worries, I behaved myself despite having temptation literally show up at my front door. I thought about it for a minute... like really thought about it. But alas, it didn't happen. Stupid morals! They get in the way and F up my whole program sometimes!

And speaking of shenanigans....I booked my Vegas trip today! I don't know that Vegas is ready for Blog Boy and I to be there tearing it up together, but we shall see. You all will be the first to know if it's still standing when we are done!