Friday, November 9, 2012

"Soft-Core Friday" - Booty Pop'in

What a week it has been! I have seldom seen so much venom spewed and calamity claimed as I have in the last week. I'm over it. Time for some nonsense!

There are a lot of tools out there to help women with their...shortcomings. There are bras so padded that you can go from an A to a DD in the blink of an eye (just know you have some explaining to do if you end up getting naked with a guy that your DD girls bagged for ya!). You can go from short hair to long with a few clip ins. You can go from pasty pale to golden bronzed with nothing more than a few well applied passes of a spray can. There are tools to help women enhance their natural beauty false advertise in just about every way.

Including making skinny white girls booty-licious. Like Beyonce ya'll. For real.

Yes, I'm talking about the Buty Panty. Basically all you flat-bottomed girls need to do is slide on a pair of these sexy (cough) underpants and BOOM! You've got booty (or Buty) for days! These clever trunk junk enhancing underthings are your ticket to snagging the quality men. Trust me on this.

Now it wouldn't be responsible of me to not point out the side effects of sporting your Buty Panty on your next girl's night out. Side effects may include: double butt syndrome (if you get a wedgie with these, the butt cheek foursome can be a little unsightly), crooked butt (if you sit with one leg crossed for too long, your Buty Panty may shift), and severe awkwardness upon getting naked with someone as you register the look on their face as the disappointment sets in that your juicy booty was nothing but smoke and mirrors...and Buty Panty.

Genius or madness? You decide.

And the original Booty Pop product that started all had this handy dandy informercial. Come on, you know you want to watch!


  1. GAWD, the last thang I need is more junk in the trunk!!!!! How would that work if a guy squeezes your butt anyway?

  2. Interesting. Still, I wonder about those gals that have an overabundance of real estate in the booty area now. Perhaps a Body Buddy Equalizer Pants Suit? Hell, with as good as modern special effects, make-up and costuming has become, why not just go for the whole enchilada? Hair to toes body suit? Wouldn't that creep a guy out when you start wiggling out of that body encasement like a giant butterfly (think in reverse) in the dim lights of the bedroom. Also, I'd like to add that they could easily make hidden pockets on the Buty Panty for spare cash, credit cards, house keys, condoms and such. Just sayin.

  3. Well here's a product that I'll never need ever in my life. I've got that booty naturally.

  4. Wanna play a drinking game. Take a sip every time they say the word booty in that commercial. OMG! Wow.

  5. But seriously....whattya do when a guy finally sees you naked? Or anybody sees you without the butt pad in, for that matter? Like, if you see them at the office and then they see you at the club with a huge booty on? Booty today, gone tomorrow! also...that booty doesn't even look real. I can spot fake boobs and I can spot fake butts, ladies.

  6. I love a nice badonkadonk, but is this seriously what we've been reduced to - shoving pillows down jeans with a straight face?

  7. I've always been a fan of smaller boobs. I think I'm one of the only guys who thinks that way. Nice and perky.

  8. Pretty sure I don't want any more booty down my pants! Do let us know if you ever road test these though, I have a feeling it would be funny.


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