Pages

Monday, October 8, 2012

Everything I need to know about Kink I learned on Wikipedia

A funny thing happened this weekend on my way to the...no, actually I wasn't going anywhere but a funny thing still happened.

I recently crossed paths with a guy who apparently enjoys the D/s dynamic when it comes to sexy time and for some reason, he has decided that I would make the perfect Dommes for him. Flattering right?!? The only problem is that a) I am not looking to be a Dommes at the moment (or ever) and b) I have no idea what would even come with that role nor do I necessarily want to.

But I'm a curious person by nature so if a guy opens himself up to me to share such a personal preference in rather vivid detail, I feel obligated to at least educate myself on the topic prior to casting a hard and fast judgement on the situation.

Upon our initial conversation (which he continually referred to me as goddess and/or his queen) he agreed to let me ask as many questions as I wanted knowing that I was going to fall on the side of "not interested" even before we started.

And he answered them all, not in a way that was sexual or that led me to believe he was getting off on it, he just openly shared how it works and his experience in the the D/s lifestyle. I appreciated his willingness to be so open because honestly, some of the stuff he explained to me was a little shocking, and it takes a lot to shock RG most of the time.

He explained that he is a cuckold. I had heard the term before but didn't really know all that was entailed. Essentially, thanks to his explanation and the super-reliable history of the term via Wikipedia, he enjoys the humiliation bestowed upon him by watching his Dom have sex with other men. This is not be confused with him wanting a threesome or being gay, which he doesn't and isn't, but is more about him receiving pleasure through basically being humiliated by his key holder being pleasured by another man as opposed to him. I don't get this concept at all but it is very much his thing.

That right there pretty much had me knowing I was 100% out. And I told him as much.

But he continued to oblige my questions with very open and detailed answers. So I kept asking because at this point, it was kind of like a car wreck that I couldn't look away from. Curiosity had gotten the better of me.

His particular take on the fetish is that he enjoys seeing his Dommes pleased by someone else. He also enjoys the process of helping her pick out a "well hung stud". He enjoys being completely controlled and essentially "sissified" by a woman in the bedroom. We are talking wearing women's panties and keeping himself restrained in a locked chastity device, not allowing release until he is told to by his Goddess, his key holder.

Sounds like a twisted form of torture to me but I guess that's kind of the point. Giving up complete control to someone is something I can't imagine myself doing, but I can see where it would be a bit of turn on in the right relationship and under the right circumstances. I just don't think that it's something I could put at a center of a relationship and feel fulfilled by that. But to each their own I suppose.

He claims to be a perfectly normal person in all other aspects of his life. He is educated, has a good job, owns his own house, is close with his family...all things I can relate to. He is just looking for someone that wants a committed, solid relationship and future with him, who can also fulfill his unique needs in the intimate part of the relationship.

I'm thinking dude, it's hard enough to find all of that when your tastes run closer to the mainstream, vanilla realm of sexual preferences, but throw in the D/s cuckold kink piece of the puzzle and I can appreciate how it may seem damn near impossible to find.

After our conversations and falling down the wikipedia-fueled rabbit hole of kinkery, I have learned a lot about what other people are doing in the bedroom. Frankly, it scares me a little but not as much as I thought it would. In fact some aspects are kind of a turn on. But, more importantly,  I have a new appreciation for the fact that other people are out there looking for their perfect match and for full acceptance of who they are and what they enjoy, whether it's fetish or kink or plain old vanilla.

Ultimately, that's what any of us want right? Someone who loves us unconditionally, kinks and all.

Photo Cred http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/7/79/Fuzzy_Cuffs_on_Wrists.jpg

14 comments:

  1. I don't think I could get into that either, on either end. I know that the cuckold thing would definitely be out, I can be the jealous type at times.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That what I'm thinking George. It would be a jealousy thing, not an enjoyable thing for me to see someone getting it on with my beloved.

      Delete
  2. I am trying to think of something cool and funny to say and you know I have nothing my mind has gone blank all I can think is he is "cuckold" better then being cuckless.........yeah I know what a silly thought but hell I can't help were my mind goes at times.............

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It can kind of leave you speechless!

      Delete
  3. I know a couple into the cuckolding but haven't met anyone in my dating adventures yet who asked. I am not naturally dominant, though the last guy I was with brought out a side of me I didn't know I had and quite enjoyed. I'm up for trying just about anything but despite the guy getting off on the cuckolding I just don't see me getting anything from it...therefore I'm out. I haven't wandered down the rabbit hole far but I'm pretty sure I'm not going that far down.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think it's interesting how someone can at least get your thought process to go where you wouldn't expect to be taken normally. Now, whether or not it would ever result action to try it out is a completely different story

      Delete
  4. "Cuckold" is actually an old word for a man who's wife has had sex with another man. The traditional cuckold doesn't enjoy being cuckolded or even know he's been cuckolded. It's interesting to see the word now being used for men who want to see their wives having sex with other men.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, I thought the evolution of the term from a guy who had an unfaithful wife to now someone who gets pleasure from having their lover have sex with someone else was quite the change on the term. Maybe it was taken as if you can't fight it, you might as well find a way to get off on it??

      Delete
  5. If I'm going to watch other people get the sex instead of me, might as well stick with porn vids. Neither one engages all five senses.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm kind of with you on that one, I don't personally see the how that dynamic would turn me on but I guess there's a market for everything!

      Delete
  6. Although I can appreciate the variances of sexual desires, this particular facet is not for me. I think I'd find myself getting jealous if the roles were reversed.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I'm all for people doing what they're into but the thought of someone touching my girl makes me sick.

    ReplyDelete
  8. With all the women that have cheated on me, I think I would have been better off being born as a cuckold.

    ReplyDelete
  9. When I first read "cuckold," I was all like, oh man, this is gonna be a post about a Shakespeare sexual fetish! YESSSS! Sign me up! I hope it involves tickling quills and iambic pentameter!

    Then I read what it ACTUALLY was. And now I'm kinda disappointed. But also hopeful that someone will set up a literary fangirl dating site. I'm just a Mary Shelley looking to find her Edgar Allan Poe...

    ReplyDelete

I like attention, so give me some please!