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Wednesday, August 29, 2012

I'm a button pusher

You know I can't just be satisfied being content so it makes perfect sense that when things appear to be going well with a guy, I would find a very large rock and throw that sucker as far and as hard as I could to disturb the glassy surface of calm waters.

My most recent antics? Well, there are several, but let's start with me not being able to fight the temptation to take a little looksie into Twin's phone recently. I was provoked though, I swear.

During a recent visit, he asked me if I would be weirded out if someone sent me something sweet in the mail when I hadn't given them my address. Like, specifically, if I had gone out with someone a time or two and then they sent me something in the mail. Would I think it was weird that they searched and found my address and took liberty to send me something. I said that it kind of would weird me out, but it's not like there's any privacy anymore anyways so I wouldn't be too afraid that I was being stalked.Weird question huh?

He then proceeds to tell me about a girl "that he had dated" that flipped out a little when he did such a thing once upon a time. I thought the timing of the question was odd so I was couldn't resist wanting to know more. So I did the one thing I hate doing or having done to me, and I looked at his text messages (I know, I know... no lecture needed, it's a total punk move). And low and behold, the fallout from this "girl he dated and thought was stalking her" situation was as recent as Mid-August, yes this August. Hmm, the plot thickens.

Of course, I couldn't and still can't let on that I know anything so I'm keeping my best poker face in play.

In addition to the mail episode, he mentioned that he had been on dating site to check out one of his friend's dates that she had said was a disaster. Innocent enough right? Maybe, maybe not. I decided to check it out for myself. And wouldn't you know it? After 12 hours of my profile being up, he had been on it. No message, just showed that he looked at my profile, multiple times. Probably wondering what the hell I was doing on another dating site. But his completed, active profile showed up none the less. That's 2 sites that he's actively on, that I know of. Interesting.

Of course, I'm going to totally ignore that as well. I'm not going to mention anything about it, me being on or me knowing he's on. I'm just going to go about my business and see how it plays out. You know I like a good mystery!

The odd thing is this guy is making plans for the future with me, we are spending tons of time together, and he is busy practicing my "love language" of acts of service on a regular basis. He talks a good game, plays the part to a "T", and seems genuine. He makes me have big emotional relationshipy talks and gives us both homework to do so we can discuss how to grow in our "relationship" on a regular basis. And yet, there's the not-so-boyfriend things going on above.

Makes a girl wonder exactly what she's gotten herself into...Theories anyone?

15 comments:

  1. Oh RG, why does it have to be this way? Why, why, why?!

    (He takes one more mental step towards abandoning it all and leaving for his writer's shack in Key West)

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  2. Hmmmmm, boys DO sometimes do that thing, of keeping their options open even when they clearly have something good going on. I think my Hubby still checks his old MySpace account from time to time, just to see! He's very much with me, I wouldn't worry. Sheesh, bet you wish you hadn't looked huh? I remember an old saying, something about never hearing anything nice if you eavesdrop. Am I helping? I'll shush now ...

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    1. I totally know what you are saying, and I knew before I did it that the odds of my seeing something that affirmed my well-being or confidence in my situation were much slimmer than finding something that would dishearten me and cause doubt. But I did it anyways because...well because I'm me. I'm the type of person that would rather know than live blissfully unaware. Character flaw?
      I remember the best advice I got during my divorce when everything I saw was confirmation of what a scam it had been, my girlfriend told me "Just stop. Nothing you find at this point is going to make you feel any better, it's only going to hurt you more and you are already done with it so let it go." Wise words, which I continue to disregard!

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  3. He may just have an escape strategy all mapped out. He may just like having the option of looking. Window shopping is fun even when your closet is full. As for the dating and fall out in mid August, if you and he are in full blown relationship mode and he is dating other people when your supposed to be exclusive then he is just being a jack ass. I hate the snoopy sleuth that goes into my phone or facebook because sometimes they can see something and take it completely out of context. My best advice would be to talk to him about it. Otherwise it's going to eat you up inside.

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    1. I hear you Hero. And I hate being the snoopy girl. I wish it was out of context and I wouldn't have been at all suspicious had he not mentioned the scenario to me himself, which is the weird part. Not sure what he was going for, but probably not this!

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  4. I hate that! I am really okay with dating someone who may be dating someone else as well, but I certainly don't want to know about it. That would apply to dating sites as well. However, like you.. I don't know that I could resist the urge to look. Oddly enough, the men I have loved the most have given me every reason to look and I never wanted to. Perhaps I just didn't want to know the truth. At least this helps you gauge where he is with his level of commitment. He's worth keeping around, but you should keep your options open as long as he does! :)

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    1. Options are indeed open. And I was this close....

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  5. That would frustrate me to no end. Although snooping always creates issues, I probably would have done it too. Curiosity always gets the better of me. However, at the same time, part of me is pissed for you. He's being two-faced in that he's making plans with you, and trying to strengthen the relationship but he's actively on dating sites. I guess I'd try to play it cool and see if anything weird keeps coming up. Maybe keep questioning him on the girl and gauge his reactions/answers.

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    1. I'm mapping out some way to bring this up this weekend. He is on his way to see me as I type so we shall see...

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  6. I like to think the worst in people, so you can probably guess what I'm thinking.

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    1. I think I know what you are thinking...and you are probably right! Be glad you are newly hitched so you don't have to play these stupid games any more!

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  7. boy, that's a tough one, randy. i think of myself and the contents of my own phone and how unhappy my bf would prolly be, were he to take a melanky peek through it. but then i also know that none of it means anything serious to me and that i don't want anyone but him. it's quite selfish and immature, but i guess i like flirting and knowing that someone else wants me, but i have no intention of ever taking it any farther than that. could your man be doing the same thing...?

    hang in there, toots!

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    1. I know I know, my phone would get me in trouble too I suppose but I know the intention behind mine, not so much with his. I'm going to play it out and see. Thanks for the comment love!

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    2. Reading all your thoughts that you shared about your friend and his extra martial affair feels sorry and also good to say that you are alerted about this relationship.
      Toiletter

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  8. Why the hell would he drop all those hints to you? Is he retarded? I mean, come ON, like you're not going to guess that something's up! This whole thing is...innnnnnteresting to say the least. But since I'm commenting A WHOLE FREAKING MONTH LATE, I'll hold off on the advice since you've probably figured the whole thing out already. *staying tuned*

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I like attention, so give me some please!