Then, like the sun breaking through the clouds your lovely voices of reason started to shine through and boy oh boy, am I glad for that! I was reminded of one simple thing: it's OK to date. Somehow, I had forgotten that spending time with multiple people and enjoying me was not breaking any rules. It was, at one time, considered common.
Dating. Just dating. Not rushing into a relationship or feeling like I have to define (or let someone else define) what exactly it is. What's wrong with just enjoying the time I'm spending with the company I'm spending it with? NOTHING!
As my sweet Kat reminded me: "you are DATING--which seems to be a foreign concept anymore in our culture anymore where you go on two dates and BOOM you're a couple."
Finally! Logic clubs me over the head! Now I feel better about taking a deep breath and just enjoying the moments I'm having. Thank you all for your great advice and feedback, it's much appreciated as always.
On a side note, LB came to see me last night. He says he doesn't mind the drive and he intends to keep making it. I like that. But I did think since he was making such an effort, I needed to make it perfectly clear to him where I'm at and the other ways I'm spending my time, and that I'm OK with him doing the same.
He, surprisingly enough, was OK with that although he assures me he isn't now nor does he intend to date anyone else. He also shared with me that he assumed that I was going out with someone else and although he's not excited about it, he understands it and is OK with it while he sorts out his divorce and gets himself regrouped from all the crap he has going on.
So bottom line is it went better than I thought it would and we both agreed to keep on keeping on for the time being. That's both good and bad as having him not be OK with that and/or flipping out would have solved my multi-boy problem, albeit in a very punk way.
So my next dilemma is my holiday schedule as both Twin and LB have attempted to lay dibs on me for the 4th of July and all the festivities that come with it. I'm not sure how that will all work out just yet but you can bet it's going to get a little tricky...