Friday, June 29, 2012

"Soft-Core Friday" - I'm recycling, because it's good for the environment

Happy "Soft-Core Friday" kids! I'm once again taking the lazy way out and recycling one of my previous SCF posts because a) I'm still not recovered from the move 2) I have to run out the door in 15 minutes and 3) this is already like 6 hours late. 

All very good reasons in my opinion. And if you needed another one, Magic Mike opens today and ladies, don't pretend like you don't agree that today should be declared a national holiday strictly to honor Channing Tatum's abs. 

So enjoy a trip down memory lane and another excuse to watch the Magic Mike trailer. I take full responsibility. 

I promise, I got some super fresh awesome stuff rattling around in my brain and it will be shared with you shortly. Don't give up on me! 

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

How Did I Forget about "Dating"?

So my last post was a little guilt-ridden as I lamented my most recent set of circumstances which includes spending time with more than one guy and liking each of them while keeping each relationship completely separate. I felt like I was doing something wrong. 

Then, like the sun breaking through the clouds your lovely voices of reason started to shine through and boy oh boy, am I glad for that! I was reminded of one simple thing: it's OK to date. Somehow, I had forgotten that spending time with multiple people and enjoying me was not breaking any rules. It was, at one time, considered common. 

Dating. Just dating. Not rushing into a relationship or feeling like I have to define (or let someone else define) what exactly it is. What's wrong with just enjoying the time I'm spending with the company I'm spending it with? NOTHING! 

As my sweet Kat reminded me: "you are DATING--which seems to be a foreign concept anymore in our culture anymore where you go on two dates and BOOM you're a couple."

Finally! Logic clubs me over the head! Now I feel better about taking a deep breath and just enjoying the moments I'm having. Thank you all for your great advice and feedback, it's much appreciated as always. 

On a side note, LB came to see me last night. He says he doesn't mind the drive and he intends to keep making it. I like that. But I did think since he was making such an effort, I needed to make it perfectly clear to him where I'm at and the other ways I'm spending my time, and that I'm OK with him doing the same. 

He, surprisingly enough, was OK with that although he assures me he isn't now nor does he intend to date anyone else. He also shared with me that he assumed that I was going out with someone else and although he's not excited about it, he understands it and is OK with it while he sorts out his divorce and gets himself regrouped from all the crap he has going on. 

So bottom line is it went better than I thought it would and we both agreed to keep on keeping on for the time being. That's both good and bad as having him not be OK with that and/or flipping out would have solved my multi-boy problem, albeit in a very punk way. 

So my next dilemma is my holiday schedule as both Twin and LB have attempted to lay dibs on me for the 4th of July and all the festivities that come with it. I'm not sure how that will all work out just yet but you can bet it's going to get a little tricky...

Monday, June 25, 2012

When Two is Too Many but One isn't Enough

So I guess you can take the girl out of the city but you can't keep the boys from following. At least that's my current dilemma and I think I may have painted myself into a corner on this one kids!

So here's the scenario: Girl dates two boys, girl moves 2 hours away fully anticipating that one or both boys will lose interest and go away thus resolving said dilemma, both boys amp up their game and leave girl in very sticky situation.

Yep, they followed me. With enthusiasm. Normally loads of extra attention and confessions of deep rooted feelings of lovey stuff would be my dream come true but under this particular set of circumstances, not so much.

Twin has brought his A game in light of my need for assistance with all things move related and I'm guessing partly in response to him knowing that I'm dating LB and intend to continue to do so. LB has been more enthusiastic than ever and has moved mountains to find a way to spend extra time with me. So what happens when both boys are on overdrive for time with yours truly? Scheduling conflicts, that's what!

This first weekend in my new place was the perfect example of why I should have a rotating door installed. For real. Twin held down Friday night, but then LB got off work on Saturday and wanted to come down on Friday instead of Saturday as we had planned. I avoided that awkward moment by telling LB I already had plans, which I did, and that we would need to keep on Saturday.

So I sent Twin off with a pout on Saturday morning with no promise of when he would see me again. He was staying with some friends in the city because he was going to a concert a venue close by but assured me he wouldn't show up and cause drama for me and LB. LB arrived a little late but we salvaged the evening with a great dinner and some live music. He had to head out of town early on Sunday so I was left to my own devices. Until Twin met me for some time in the sun, which turned into the day, which turned into fireworks at a festival later that night. Sigh....

Here is my problem. I like both guys. I want to spend time with both guys. I totally look at each of them as separate relationships, independent of each other, and I have things I really like and things I'm not so thrilled about with both of them. I have no reason to quit either except for the guilt I have about spending my time and feelings on two different people.

I think I may just be poly amorous. And I don't know what I think about that. It's been a foreign concept for me up to this point, never really understanding how a person could have two completely different relationships going simultaneously. But I do. I don't really have a reason or desire to break off either one of them.

So now what?!? This is totally new territory for me. I think I've discovered a new level of emotional dysfunction even for me.

I know that Twin's tolerance for the time-share arrangement is growing thin and I can't blame him. And LB is not as aware as he could be of the exact nature of Twin and I's deal.  I guess the situation may resolve itself on its own but I'm not sure if I want to lose either of them. I guess I'll either have to make a decision of who to continue with or wait for one of them to tell me to F off. Can't say I wouldn't deserve it.

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Is that daylight I see?

Hey kids! Yes, I have seen daylight through the pile of boxes! Hooray!

Moving this weekend was, was moving, which automatically sucks but as moves go, this one went pretty OK so I'll spare you the boring the details and just say how happy I am to know that tomorrow I am back to working and actually looking forward to the normalcy of a regular day. I know, I'm sick like that.

I'll do a more in depth "What I learned From Moving" post at some point. Just not now. Because I'm tired and my fingers hurt from ripping tape off boxes for three days straight so this is all you get! No complaining or I'll come over with my packing tape gun and wrap you tightly against something very pokey. I'll do it!

I miss you guys!

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Boxes Boxes Everywhere!

Hey kids! Just stopping in to say hi and see how you all are doing. I got a few minutes to show some comment love on a few of your blogs but not nearly as many as I would like to. If you got a comment, go buy a lotto ticket because it was your lucky day! I know, I crack myself up!

So this moving stuff sucks, just in case you were wondering. I am doing it entirely on my own, which as a single-ish girl who is blowing off the guy who has proclaimed his love and undying devotion to helping me move and not getting an offer of help from the guy with whom I'm sharing my bed with more nights than not, that's just what I get I guess. I like to make things as difficult as possible on myself. I'm good at it.

There has been a lot going on with moving and boys and chaos and such but I'll have to give you all the short version of a few very long stories for the time being because I have packing to get back to and my job is still expecting me to do work and stuff too...the nerve!

First story: I helped Twin host his house warming party last weekend. I didn't really have the time or desire to do so but it was important to him so I agreed to show up, look hot, and be nice to people, which I did. The night was going well and he was in his element. I was glad I was there for him.

Until he cornered me towards the end of the night and proceeded to declare his love for and overwhelming desire to be with me, despite me telling him 100% directly that I was with someone else and intended to continue to be with that someone else. So you can imagine that that convo went not as well as he wanted and put a damper on the evening for both of us. I excused myself shortly thereafter. What a buzz kill!

Story 2: LB and I are going strong. Of course we are. What better timing to find someone that I really click with and am actually enjoying spending lots and lots of time with than when I am moving 2 hours away. Sure! Sounds perfect! Sign me up!

If it was easy I wouldn't want it, I know myself too well. There are lots of theories between us about how this will look and work post-move but my guess is that it will prove too difficult to keep up the frequent commute for one or both of us and that it will do a slow fade into the sunset. Either way, I'm enjoying it now and that's that! Don't try to talk me out of it. I won't listen.

So there's the short version of the two most prevalent situations that I am dealing with. There's always more going on in the background and I'll catch you up on all of that after the boxes are unpacked. Until then, have a great rest of the week and make sure you go out and have some shenanigans for me OK? I'm horribly behind in that department at the moment and it's making me cranky!

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Under the Radar does not suit me

I miss you! All of you guys! I hate that I'm so far behind on my reading and comment love to your blogs but I plan to remedy that problem soon... Randy swear!

So you may recall that I participated in the wonderful Reverb11 writing prompts for the month of December. The very first one was titled "One Word" and it was meant for me to sum up 2011 with one word (I chose "Looking") and to choose a word I hoped to realize in 2012. I chose "moving". And so that's what I'm doing.

I'm down to my last 10(ish) days in my current home and city. Next weekend I'm moving myself and all of my stuff back to a city I have lived in before and left abruptly after the great life devastating moments of 2008. I'm going back with a new attitude and perspective, and sense of peace, and a very positive outlook on all that I will be doing differently this time around. Plus, Princess will get way more time with her daddy which is really the reason behind my finally getting off my ass and making this move.

I've decided that despite the many things that could go wrong or disappoint me as a result of all this change, I'm only seeing the sparkly silver linings on this adventure. It WILL be a good move. It IS a good decision. I WILL find many ways to continue to be happy and content as I am now. Those are not negotiable. They are things that were, are, and will continue to be truth for me.

So friends, I am plunging head first into all the drudgery that comes with the moving process but I'm doing it with a smile on my face and a song playing in my head because that just makes it all more tolerable. I'll try to stop in to say hello between now and then, but if not, I know you all will be around when I get settled in and have more time to play again because you are just that awesome!!

Not me, but how I feel! 

Friday, June 1, 2012

"Soft-Core Friday" - The Easiest One Ever

This SCF is the easiest one ever. Basically because I'm doing absolutely nothing for it in terms of creative force. I didn't have to, my sweet Kat and darling Jewels took care of all the awesomeness for me! Did I mention how much I love these girls? 

First up: Zombie porn. Not just any zombie porn but super HOT zombie porn. And I'm very picky about my porn. This is top notch. Go visit Jewel's site Naughty Nothings and check out Kat's hot, twisted words. 

After that, make sure you stop by Kat's site for more shenanigan-filled fun including her own take on the BDSM craze and her hatred of all things 50 Shades, I kind of agree with her on the points she makes, plus her true life story she shares is pretty awesome. Oh yeah, and she put my "Writes Like A Slut" picture up today too so you know that's cool too... 

I was going to try to find a fitting zombie video to include in today's post but the amount of bad zombie-related videos on youtube was overwhelming and gave me anxiety so I'm skipping it. Go read this instead. It's more zombie goodness from my sweet Kat over at The Indie Chicks.