That is an actual quote from a well-meaning aunt, that was shared with me by a cousin, at Easter dinner. She was referencing the fact that I was at Easter. And so was my ex-husband. And so was his girlfriend. So I kind of see her point. Maybe I should clarify.
A) I am his ex-wife, not wife in the current form
B) It is technically his family, but they like me more than him so my attendance is still expected/required at family events
C) We don't have now, nor have we ever had, the "typical" post-divorce situation. We still holiday/vacation/hang out for fun and for the sake of neither one of us wanting to miss anything with the Princess. We decided before we separated that the Princess and our time with her would always be put before any other factor when making plans. And because neither of us want to give up our time or be without her for holidays and such, we get along and make it work.
Don't get me wrong, he annoys the piss out of me from time to time and I'm sure it's quite mutual but we can grin and bear it for the greater good. And really at this point, we have nothing left to fight about or be upset about so we actually usually end up having a good time. I'm close with his family aside from him so it was not really an issue to continue that relationship despite the divorce and likewise with him and my family. It's unconventional, but it works for us and our family's are good about being flexible. We are lucky.
He has been with his girlfriend for about 2 years... but just formally decided there were future intentions in the last few months or so. Our agreement was that when there is someone with future looking prospects that would be spending a lot of time with Princess, the other of us would be introduced out of respect. Now was that time for this girlfriend.
I already had good will towards this GF because 1) she wasn't a crackhead stripper like the girls he dated when we first separated (She is a mother of two older girls and actually has a job where she gets to keep her clothes on which is a plus) and 2) the princess approves of her and her girls and enjoys getting to spend time with them. I figure if she is OK with her, then I should be OK with her until/unless proven differently.
When the Ex suggested an intro dinner prior to the family Easter extravaganza, I was in without hesitation. And for the record, I offered to not attend Easter at his family's if it would make the GF feel uncomfortable or if she would prefer to have the family to herself for the first major holiday. We left it contingent on the general feeling after our pre-dinner meeting.
It went well. She is actually quite lovely. Yes, I just said my ex-husband's girlfriend is lovely. And I'm not being snarky about it at all.
I ended up having them over early on Sunday morning for breakfast and Easter Bunny madness with the princess. Yep, I even cooked for the ex-husband's girlfriend. They stayed all morning and conversation was easy. I see why he likes her, she is a good compliment for him. I know... weird to say that as the ex-wife but I'm happy that he is with someone who appears to not be crazy at this point and that they are happy.
They arrived at grandma's a few minutes before the princess and I so there was some warning to the family that would care that we would all be attending as one big happy "family". And it was fine. I didn't pick up on any weirdness and everyone seemed to go with the flow and just enjoy the company of all three lovely ladies that he brought to the occasion. Well, everyone except the one aunt that was concerned but I don't really count her because she has a reputation for being crazy and more than a little odd on a good day.
And I took Grandma asking me why I didn't bring my boyfriend with me (to my ex-husband's family Easter?) as a sign that she was cool with the situation and that was really who I was most concerned about.
The day ended uneventfully, with hugs all around and we went our separate ways with plans to get together again sooner rather than later. I know that this "one big happy family" vibe may not last forever but for the time being I'm glad that we can all agree to get along and maybe even like each other in the process. I figure it will be easier to get along with the woman that will be spending time with my daughter, probably lots of time at some point and with the title of step-mom, than to be adversaries or have bad feelings about her. I hope she feels the same and we can just do what needs done with as little drama as possible.
Besides, I sure as heck don't want him anymore, so she can have it!