Monday, February 13, 2012

Who? Me?

I'd like to thank the academy....
or at least the fine voting folks over at Studio 30 Plus for voting RGB the Best Dating Blog of 2011 in the Boomerang Awards.

(Practicing my best fake shock/surprise face ala Taylor Swift...)
Who?? Me?? No way!!

But I really am surprised and quite honored so thank you to everyone who nominated and voted for yours truly.

And I'm in great company with winners such as Brandon from Lost in Idaho, Kelly from Naked Girl in a Dress, and Lance from My Blog Can Beat up Your Blog. If you're not following these kids, you need to because they are lovely and much deserving of their awards as well.

So now that I have a rep to live up to, I guess I should probably throw in some "dating blog" type stuff here right?

Off we go...

After a heavy dose of nostalgia that you all let me indulge in on my SCF post, I had my first date with Jr. High Crush on Saturday night. I was oddly nervous. There is something about kind of knowing someone for so long that made me not sure about whether I should raise or lower my expectations. I mean, I knew him really well when we were 12, but not so much really since we were about 18 so should I assume he is better or worse now then he was then?

Would we have anything to talk about besides "back in the day"? Would there be chemistry now in the light of day or was that just the darkened bar/several drinks effect that made it seem like there was a few weeks ago? I just wasn't sure.

So I did the only thing I could, went out with him without expectations and made up my mind to just take things as they come and treat it like any first date with a new guy. I let him tell his story without making assumptions. Essentially, we started with a clean slate because really, it was. We had never dated before so it really was our first date.

It was a wise choice. He has a great story to tell. There are a lot of parallels in our lives when it comes to family, divorce, single parenting, maintaining friendships, music interests, and more. There was no lag in conversation, no awkward silence, no weirdness at all. In fact, we spent so much time engrossed in conversation that we totally missed the movie we planned to see and closed the restaurant down. I take that as a good sign.

We met up with some of my friends to watch a band play after our lengthy dinner. They were people he had known "back in the day" but it was nice to get to re-introduce them anyways. We had a few cocktails, danced a little, and just enjoyed ourselves.

Then I started getting texts from the recently Ex'd Twin. Very specific texts which led me to believe he too was at the same bar. Which he was as I found out on my way back from a trip to the bathroom. There he sat.


We talked for a few minutes which was fine. Then he kissed me. Which was not so fine. We had the benefit of a crowded bar and a hundred people between us and where my date was sitting but it was still highly inappropriate and quite pissed me off. So much for being nice.

I walked away and went back to my date and continued my evening. It ended nicely with a few kisses and plans for our next date which I'm looking forward to.

As for the Twin, I'm not sure if he knew I was with another guy Saturday or not. I'm guessing he did and that's why he pulled the alpha-male/mark his territory move and kissed me for no good reason. He has been texting ever since. I'm trying to be nice because I don't dislike him but we aren't together anymore and I don't like to prolong the drama once I've made up my mind that I'm done with someone. He must have missed the memo.

Any ideas on how to get an ex to be an ex and go away? I don't really want him to be a distraction to the new situation I have going on. I would really just like to enjoy the moment that I'm in and not get drug back into what isn't anymore.


  1. I have a really immature way to make him go away and stay away, but you may not like it...

    Tell him he should probably go to a doctor and get an STD screening. "I won't go into details, but..." and you'll never hear from him again.

    I'm bad, I know...

    Thanks for the shout-out lovin, and congratulations on your award! You're definitely on my 'must read regularly' list!

  2. I can offer some advice that I'm attempting to follow.

    Be direct{ish}. Tell him you want to keep him in your life as a friend, but right now things from your relationship are still a little raw and you need a little space/time to make that work.

    Have you told him that his actions were inappropriate? That would probably be a good idea too. Establish new and healthy boundaries or a real friendship isn't going to be very likely.

  3. I cannot speak for other guys but when a lady that I am stalking kicks me in the junk, I have a pretty good idea about how she feels towards me. I'm not sayin', just sayin'.

  4. I'm the last person to tell you how to make an ex an ex! When I get my 'ex' to move out, we'll compare notes. haha. Sounds like you had a nice date and that is great. Probably just ignoring the other one for awhile would be good, no? Keep us posted on the next date! Hugs.

  5. CONGRATULATIONS ON THE AWARD!!! You deserve it!

    As for Twin, ICK. He kissed you? Out of the blue? Ick ick ick.

    Sooooo glad the date went well, though!

  6. So happy that you won the Boomerang award! :) Congrats, sweets!

    I guess it all comes down to whether or not you can really be friends with Twin? Is he going to be around long term, supportive of new relationships, or any more likely to keep engagements with you now that you aren't together? What is the real harm in hurting his feelings a little if it means giving something new, potentially great, and more healthy a try?

    I'm not saying be evil but I see nothing wrong with telling him his actions the other night were not alright, to give you space, and that just because he may feel a twinge of jealousy/territorial does NOT give him the right to behave the way he did. Let him know if he can't back off then he can't be a part of your life in any capacity. In the end what are you really truly losing versus what you could be gaining?

  7. Congrats on the award...
    I'd follow Lost's advice...or failing that (given the repercussions) just be straight with him, you might have to spell it out but blokes tend to prefer the direct approach.

  8. Yay! Congratulations on your award!!! So glad your date went well! :)

  9. Congrats!!! :)

    Cue the "Because You're Amazing..." song from Bruno Mars. Haha! Sorry, just read your sentiments about him in your comment on my blog and now I have that song stuck in my head, so I want you to have it stuck in your head, too :)

    And, not cool of Twin to act like that! But at least you were having a good date to go back to and forget about it.

  10. @Lost: wow, that's pretty harsh. Not sure if that's territory I want to wander into but I like your thinking and I agree it would probably be effective. I'll keep that one in my pocket...

    @Haven: Be direct? That's always tough for me until I get super annoyed. I would have thought that me breaking up with him would have been direct enough, but I guess not. Ok, I will try to be as direct (harsh) as needed...

    @ib: I totally could have kicked him in the junk on Saturday...I missed my opportunity!!

    @Barb: wow, I think I'll quit complaining least he's not living with me. Yikes!

    @Nicki: Thanks. I know right? Thanks again!

    @Jewels: You are always full of good advice! And you are right, I guess it shouldn't matter at this point if I hurt his feelings a little to get him out of the way because I have tried to be nice and it didn't work so what option do I have?

    @G: Direct. I will try. It usually happens when I'm highly annoyed.

    @Yvonne: thanks hon!

    @Lazidaisical: Ok, you get a virtual punch for torturing me with Bruno Mars because you know how much I absolutely loathe all things Bruno!!!

  11. Congrats on your award!!! Yay!!

    So glad the date went well. Closing down the restaurant is definitely a good sign in my book.

    As for Twin... ugh. How rude! First off, lose his number. That way there's no temptation to even respond to him. Secondly, before doing that maybe send him a final text saying that you're over and you don't appreciate his rude attempt in kissing you, etc, etc. (you'll make it sound better)

  12. How do you get rid of an ex? Call 1-800-KAT KICKS ASS.

    Also? CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR AWARD, MY DARLING!! I'm so behind on everything between moving, working and writing that I forgot to check this! Mucho, much deserved! *mwah!*


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