Friday, February 17, 2012

"Soft-Core Friday" - Would you let your Ex write your online dating profile?

Happy "Soft-Core Friday" kids! We made it through another one....well... almost at least. And this is even more impressive than normal because we all had to deal with the daunting task of handling V Day in addition to the normal everyday crap so this deserves an extra drink at happy hour in my opinion. So...cheers to you!

My week was busy but good (I'm assuming you care here so just go with it ok?). I got an unexpected bit of love on V day which was, against all things in me that really doesn't like to acknowledge such silly days, made me smile and appreciate being thought of in a fond way.

I also spent a lot of time this week trying to fend of the not-so-recently Ex'd Twin. Several of you dolls on Twitter offered to assist me with stern talking to's and even leg breaking after a recent round of my venting. Your willingness to defend me is touching and much appreciated. I think it's handled now though... at least I'm hoping.

Why am I hopeful? Because Twin has his online dating profile back up. I'm glad to see that he has put himself back on the market, and am keeping my fingers crossed that he finds himself with a new distraction sooner rather than later.

For the sake of time and with a complete lack of creativity, he just used the exact same profile that he had used before. And really I can't blame him, it did help him land me after all, and we both know that was a win for him....right?? So I guess he figures if it's not broken, why fix it?

But it is broken...because many of the things he is promoting himself to be, be interested in, and find important, are not indeed translated into real life. At least not the the life that I was a part of for a while.

Now I know it's nothing new to exaggerate or perhaps just present your ideal self vs. your actual self on the all-important dating profile but really, I think it would just be better to represent your true self....or let your Ex write your dating profile for you... that would be a great idea!!

Who better to give people the real deal on you than someone who dated you successfully for a minute? If they have good things to say, chances are you would be perceived as a decent guy, almost like a reference check, and up your chances of landing someone equally as decent. If your ex has some harder truths to share, at least the new person would know what they were getting into from the beginning and could plan accordingly. What bugs one person might be fine with another and you could find a more fitting date from the beginning. I say it's a win/win!

I would have a few minor tweaks for Twin's profile if given the opportunity to write it for him. I may write up a draft and send it to him to consider. I'm sure he would appreciate that.

Would I let him write mine for me? I absolutely would. I was my true, authentic self with him and I think my dating profile in the past was accurate to what he experienced so I really don't have anything to be worried about.

What about you? Would you let your Ex write your online dating profile?? (And pick the pictures to be included???)


  1. My ex claimed I cheated on her for 3 years before we finally split, so no, I wouldn't.

    But kudos to you for having decent breakups!

  2. I must say that is VERY mature of you. I doubt any of my ex's would have very flattering things to say about me so I would have to decline that invitation.

  3. Depends on the ex but no one before 2005. However, most recent ex and current BF are more than welcome to write one!

  4. Honestly in most cases, I wouldn't let any of my exes so much as make me a slice of toast, let alone create a profile about me.

  5. Hmmm, I wanted most of my exes to simultaneously take me back and die in a violent fire in or around the same time, so I doubt I would have good things to say.

    And if I were a potential new dater, and saw either good or bad content on a profile from an ex, I would wonder why the heck the two still kept in touch, or why the ex would be willing to help out.

    (Then again, if you read the first part of my post you'll see I had a different mind set about exes).



  6. Depends on the ex. I've dated some horrible, horrible people. My last girlfriend I'd totally let write my profile. If I ever break up with my current, um, interest?, I'd let him write one for me as well.

    I only have one dating profile up and I think I'm very honest about who I am. Until the profile starts asking me silly questions to which I usually try to answer with quotes form Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and Star Wars. I figure if anyone doesn't get the references they probably aren't right for me anyways ;)

  7. Nope. Uh-uh. No way. I am wayyyyy too much of a control freak to let anyone write my profile.

  8. I don't have an ex so can't answer that

  9. Hard to write a profile when you're buried in the rose garden. But I digress...

    My exwife would not be allowed anywhere near my profile. See above statement.

    1. Oh yeah, and while it's on my mind, happy belated card and candy day.

  10. I think it's hilarious that you noticed incongruities between him and his profile!

    I'd probably let anyone write my profile for me because I'm lazy.

  11. I met a guy on OK Cupid he was nice but we didn't work out. I know that he's back on there as he told me (I deactivated my account). We are being friends - and that's been quite nice. Now, I don't feel like I can go back on there as I think that he would find me, and it would indicate that the "I'm not ready for a relationship" line that I spun was perhaps not entirely true. I *could* just say that all I want is meaningless sex with some asshole hottie that I find there, but I feel like that might not be the kind of thing he wants to hear either.

    No more OK Cupid for me. Probably a good thing.

  12. It must say something about me that I would in no way trust any of my ex's to write a good dating profile for me... plus I'd stand no chance if I couldn't part from reality slightly.

  13. I would be okay with it. I've been given the impression from my ex's that things are cool with us. The only ex I have a problem with is my last, but she's still super-nice to me. I just have a problem with her because she's a lying cheat, but she still likes me. Go figure.

  14. I've not had bad break ups so I don't think that I would have a problem with it...other than the fact that my ex's haven't been much on writing, or reading, and may not do the best job. lol.

  15. No way. For me that would be like taking a gasoline shower before smoking a lit match.


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