Wednesday, February 1, 2012

The best way to get over someone....

I believe it was Brandon from Lost in Idaho that reminded me after one of my previous break ups that the best way to get over by getting under someone else. Thanks for those words of wisdom Idaho....they served as a handy reminder and excellent justification for my most recent set of shenanigans. I do so love having an excuse!

Before I get into that, I wanted to just take a moment to share with you all my post-deconstruction take-aways from my recently defunct relationship with the Twin. It's that last time it will be mentioned. You have my word.

Here is what I learned:
1) I can and do enjoy being in a serious, monogamous relationship (that's HUGE kids, I didn't know if I was capable of that after my recent track record of shenanigans-only situations)
2) Good enough is not good enough.
3) If I'm going to be in an exclusive relationship with someone, I need them to be actively involved with my life in it's entirety, not just the parts that are easy or convenient for them
4) I need to quit keeping people who want to invest in me at arm's length out of fear and/or distrust. I need to give a guy the benefit of the doubt until/unless proven I need to do otherwise.
5) When it's not working more often than it is working, it's time to call it off. Having the same conversation to address the same frustrations over and over does not resolve them, it just confirms that the will to resolve them isn't there and it's probably not going to happen. Cut your loses and move on.

Speaking of cutting my loses and moving on, that's what I have done. The official break up has occurred and this time it was not followed up by a day and a half of break up/make up sex. It was a hug goodbye and that was that.

So what's a newly single girl to do that has been spoiled by lots of lots of good sex on a very regular basis for the last 6 months? Call up the reserves, that's what. And so welcomes the return of Fireman. Oh yes, I went there....again.

I can hear my sweet Kat cussing me out from several states away. I know how much you really despise the concept of him. I'm sorry darling.... but I just couldn't resist. I deserve many many spankings from you and will be anxiously awaiting them. *bends over and smiles*

Technically, Fireman never really went away. He has been hard-pressing me pretty much the entire time I was with Twin but because I was determined to do the relationship the right way, he was denied repeatedly and emphatically. But when he came around this time, I was single again so.... it's OK....right??

Ok, probably not OK. The boy is trouble for me. He has been for the last year. That's right kids, we have been at this off and on for an entire year. It's kind of ridiculous I will admit. But, it is kind of nice to have a good fall back guy who can pick up right where we left off and not have any of the drama or expectations that can come from starting over with someone new.

Do you have a fall back guy/girl? An on-call piece that you can count on to handle things when you are in-between relationships? I can't be the only one.... share!

Also, thanks to the awesome Lady E who has dubbed this month #WWTFIFLF Month. Join in the fun and let's rock this right! Go grab the widget and post up your words! 

Adventures in Estrogen


  1. Hehe. Sounds good :)

    And yes, I have a fallback guy. He keeps asking me if I'm STILL married. Ahem. LMAO

  2. Is it lame I don't have a fallback? And hope I'll never need one?

    Auditions for a third wheel (aka ' The meat in the sammich') will begin shortly though...

  3. I sort of have a fallback. My GF is always there if and when I want her regardless of my relationship (or lack thereof) situation).

    I say good for you. Take your lovin' however you want it.

  4. Sadly I've always been the fall back guy. I used to have a couple women that considered me their fall back guy. It was often enough I didn't really have to worry about it. Now, not so much. They all landed pretty decent fellows.

  5. Get your fire started!! Hell yea I have a fall back! I lovingly refer to him as the "Brazilian". I forget all about not being in a relationship.

    On a serious note, if you and the Fireman can keep things "business" oriented, I see no problem with it.

  6. I do not have a fallback girl. I actually may, but I don't think an imaginary lover counts.

  7. I think you and your shenanigans are what Lola's girly wet dreams are made of. :) You know what? Sometimes the one's who are the least "good" for us are perfect. Yes. I have reserves. No. I will not share more than that. xo

  8. *sigh* I used to have a reserve. I really need to get a new reserve. Hell, I just need to get SOMETHING at this point. :-) I say, you go girl! Now I will exit before Kat goes off on ya.

  9. There's a joke in there somewhere, I'll find it too. ;-)

  10. Grrr! I don't have any reserves anymore dammit!!! I think it's great that YOU do. And hey, a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do! Take care of YOU! :)

  11. I used to have a fallback guy, my own fireman and others before him, but don't anymore. I have no idea why but I changed somewhere along the line. These guys that weren't any good for me...the guys that used to drive me crazy w/lust...they stopped being fun for me. Don't get me wrong, the loving was still good, but the "This isn't right, he's not right. I shouldn't be doing this." thoughts took hold way too much and it wasn't worth it anymore.

    Man that makes me feel old. Shit. Fuck. Damn. Hmm...wonder if I still have his number....

  12. As you know I work all the fucking time anymore so I've been doing a lot of my reading on Li'l Hal (iPod) and it has a small screen so I don't see the entire post at once. I finished the paragraph that ended with "fireman" and did a facepalm which turned to laughter as I saw the next sentence already anticipating my reaction.

    First, regarding disappointing me, as I said in my Tweet you could never disappoint me, love. Your decisions are yours to make and while I grumble about the Fireman I still respect whatever you choose. You're a very smart chickie and I know that you aren't going to do anything completely mental like take Fireman with you to Vegas and marry him. My number one concern, regardless of if it is Fireman or anything else, is always your happiness and safety. I of course don't think Fireman deserves the pleasure of your brilliant company, but then few do. Unfortunately I'm very much a mother hen and I suspect that no one will ever be good enough in my eyes for my dear chickie, but then Fireman is just so cocky that I go a bit vehement. Out of love and respect for you though, I'll do my best to control my snarliness toward him, my darling.~

  13. Good enough, never is. How right you are.

  14. There's always a lot to learn about yourself and your needs/wants after every relationship, but not everyone is as introspective about it as you are. That's what draws me to your blog--your ability to define and pursue what you want out of a relationship, no matter what category that relationship might fall under. #5 on your list seemed to pop up often, and for that reason especially I'm glad you moved on from Twin. Brandon's advice is awesome. Those 'Beer for the Shower' boys are very wise! Oh, and I totally stole that widget from Lady E. love it!

    Good luck with the Fireman!


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