Monday, January 9, 2012

So was that "break up sex" or "make up sex"?

On the last episode of Random Girl theater, I was in the midst of a super-annoying situation with Twin and was uncertain if I would be seeing him as planned Saturday night or if I would be staying in with a bottle of something and a good playlist. Thank you all for your lovely comments by the way! In case you were curious how the night shook out, wonder no more.

After I declined the family dinner invite, he decided we would stay the course and go out for dinner alone as we had planned. I had made up my mind that I was indeed breaking it off with him by the end of the night. Of course it was imperative that I looked extra smokin' hot for the occasion as to torture him even more as he realized he wasn't getting it anymore. Evil I know, but hey I'm a girl... what do you expect?

Dinner was pleasant. We played nice, kept the conversation high level and free of drama or sensitive topics and had a nice time.  On the way home he asked where we were staying for the night, his place or mine? That's where it got awkward. I told him that I thought it was best if he just dropped me off at home. That resulted in stunned silence as he realized I had not intention of us ending the night together.

"The conversation" ensued. He agreed several of my points were valid, I conceded to several of his points as well. It was quite civil. The long and short of it is that he wants to feel more pursued by me and be a bigger priority in my life and I don't really feel that I can give him what he needs. We were very grown up about the whole thing.

By then, we had pulled in my driveway and were at that point where it was time to make a decision on how the night would end. We had taken dessert to go, so he suggested that we go inside and at least enjoy that together. That led to the "why not one last night?" idea as we both conceded that sex was the one thing with us that still worked perfectly and it would be a shame to waste that opportunity.

And perfect it was. Better than any time previously even, which is saying a lot. Go figure. We spent most of the night, a good portion of the morning, in the shower, and again after the shower on the part of our relationship that had nothing to complain about. And then we went to brunch smiling and acting very much like a couple that was still together.

We went our separate ways for a few hours to attend to errands and then he was back again for the afternoon.

Epic. Break up. Fail.


Now what??

As a side note, we both still acknowledge that although things work well naked, we still have issues with our relationship when we have clothes on. Good sex does not a relationship make. Neither one of us is offering any solutions for that problem at this time, but we both know it's there and that it isn't going away.

Stay tuned!


  1. Oh my. Complicated complicated. Nothing is ever so simple or straight forward.

  2. You horn dogs! I'm a sucker that way too. Sex first, ask questions later.

  3. Ha! You just can't walk away, can you?

    ...and can I point out that, IF this break-up sticks (BIG if there...) you'll be 100% single for Vegas.

    *cue dramatic music here*

  4. I really don't have a position on this, but I wanted to mention what i thought was the weirdest aspect. Him wanting to be "pursued" by you more, and yet also wanting you to come dinner with his family.

    I don't know what if anything that means. Just seems like an odd pair of things for the same person to desire at the same time.

  5. Ok now I want to know whether it is over or

  6. Ha! Major epic break up fail indeed! But I can't say I wouldn't have done the same. If the sex is that good, I'm "sexing" first and asking questions later. ;) -Seriously, I hope you figure out what you need to do to either make this work, or breat it off.

  7. Sex complicates everything. You're in a sticky situation my dear (no pun intended) but I'm glad that you guys were ablt to get it on the table in a civil, adult fashion. That definitely helps out. Good luck!

  8. Is it wrong that i actually love this? and's kinda hot. :)

  9. I'm with Rita on the hot but not the loving it. I know it can be hard. Just because they aren't right for you doesn't mean that it can't still be amazing sex. I know you'll figure out the right thing for yourself in the end...until then I guess enjoy it! ;)

  10. I think the solution to your problems is that you two burn your clothes and remain naked since that is when things are at its best. I've had break up sex before and I gave it my all. I tried to channel my inner porn star to make her feel like she missing out on something. I think if had I done that all of the time, we may still be together. Hmmm... Oh, well.

  11. Oi, I hate when I can't just leave things be, but I know that you know me, my darling, and that I can't sugar coat things when it comes to your well-being.

    I do not see this as a break-up. If you were casually dating, then this COULD have been a goodbye, but given that you've used the R-word (relationship) with Twin, then this was a fight and makeup sex.

    Now this is the part that I wish I could be silent about but won't because I can never shut up. This wasn't a breakup, but I think it should have been. You and I are a lot alike, my love, and I know I could never stand to be with a guy who felt that he felt he needed to be pursued. "Motherfucker you pursue ME because I'M the prize that needs to be wooed here! If I wanted to date a bitch I would be a lesbian!"

    If you want to continue the relationship though, just be aware that he will always want more attention than you give him and he will continue to throw tantrums. If you call him on it, he might man up, but on the hand you might have to just mentally condition yourself to not give a fuck when he wets himself over something stupid.

  12. @Haven: Yes, complicated is my specialty

    @Wow: it seems that we are quite similar in our coping skills

    @Lost: I can walk away from relationships, it's the sex that I get hung up on from time to time. And yes, single in Vegas has occured to me. I might have to pick a fight on my way to the airport to make that happen for sure!

    @Ty: I thought the wanting to be pursued thing was a bit odd too but I don't get much about how guys think so I thought it was normal.

    @Jo-Anne: it's still pending...stay tuned

    @Yvonne: Figure it out? Yeah... maybe.. but don't count on it

    @Michael: I think the pun was totally intended...fess up!

    @Rita: I'm not surprised at all, I knew you would understand my thinking on it!

    @Jewels: it's such a catch 22 sometimes...sigh..

    @Barfly: I don't know if I should apologize or take a bow

    @Q: channeled your inner porn star huh? I wrote an article about that a while ago. Don't save it for the break up though, bring your A game every time buddy!

    @Kat: I think you just won "Best Comment Ever" for including "Motherfucker you pursue ME because I'M the prize that needs to be wooed here! If I wanted to date a bitch I would be a lesbian!"
    On a serious note, I get what you are saying and i can't say that I don't agree with you, at least a little bit. I think we both know that this will not end well, but it will end.

  13. I'm with Cinderita. Should I feel bad for finding all this incrrrrrredibly nailbiting? WHAT WILL HAPPEN?

    Also, I realize commenting on this post is essentially useless since no one can follow Kat. "If I wanted to date a bitch I would be a lesbian!" LOVE.

  14. It might be the most unpopular comment here but, you should have let him drop you home and broken it off. Knowing how that 'really' felt would help you decide whether you actually want this to work out or not. Distance can be kinda awesome sometimes.


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