Pages

Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Merry Christmas

Wishing you all many blessings and special moments this Christmas Day!

Monday, December 17, 2012

Sometime's there just aren't the words

There isn't really anything that I can say about the events of Friday 12/14/12 that hasn't already been expressed or felt by each of you already. Prayers seem hardly enough against the backdrop of these horrors but it's the one thing I can offer so it's what I've been doing.

Sometimes there are words that you just need to hear. I think this is one of those times. For those of you who care to hear some good words of truth in this very difficult time, I offer you this
http://www.heartlandchurch.com/current-message

Friday, December 14, 2012

Now is not the time

I had a SCF post all ready to share with you all, but now is not the time.

I'm watching yet another tragedy unfold before my eyes on CNN right now. Details are still coming in, but this morning there has been a deadly shooting in an elementary school in Connecticut. At the current moment,  reports are that 12 people, staff and school children, have been shot and killed.

This is not OK.

This should not be happening.

Our kids deserve better.

In the time it would take you to read and laugh at my normal SCF post, I ask that you take a moment and say a prayer for all of the children and families that have today suffered a horrible loss, a loss of their innocence to the cruel things that this world can offer.

Hug your kids tight today.

*Updated 2:45
The count is now up to 27. Mostly children, Kindergarten kids. Reports are the 24 y/o gunman killed his dad at his home, then went after his mom, a Kindergarten teacher, and opened fire in her classroom. I can't explain what I feel about this. There are no words.

A special prayer to the first responders and the staff and students for what they have seen and will be seeing in the next few hours. I can't even imagine.

Friday, December 7, 2012

"Soft-Core Friday" - Get Your Fit On

Happy "Soft-Core Friday" kids!

I have a confession to make. I have gotten kind of hard-core on one thing lately: working out. And it's been beneficial in more than one way!

For the past 5 years or so, I have managed to do some sort of workout a few times a week. I just feel better when my body gets to do something besides sit in a chair for hours upon hours a day. But the last 6 months or so, I have stepped up the intensity and frequency of my workouts and have seen a big uptick in my energy, and my sex drive. It's no coincidence I assure you.

I think the key for someone that has a short attention span and gets bored easily like me is to keep variety a key factor in your workout plan. For example, this week I've done a strength/endurance class, TurboKick, Spin, and Hip Hop. All are very different in format and vary in intensity and focus area, but each one gets me sweaty and makes me feel like I've accomplished something when I leave the gym. That to me is more important than how many calories I burn or how many miles I go.

In addition to the sweat I get on at the gym, I'm more inclined to be enthusiastic about getting sweaty in other ways as well.  It's empowering to me to know that I can and do enjoy a very active sex session and that I have the endurance, energy, and ability to get creative with positions and duration. Being able to give and receive additional levels of pleasure is certainly I side effect of working out that I welcome.

Twin has even started joining me on my trips to the gym when he is town. He says it's to be able to keep up with me and to lessen his fear of dying of a heart attack while we are in throws of sexy time. I appreciate his efforts and encourage him for my own sake. I don't want him to start slacking in the bedroom! Nothing good comes from that. Pun intended!


On a side note and to better explain my song choice for this SCF, most of the workouts I do are group classes so you find yourself in the company of some interesting people of varying levels of proficiency. I thought I was being punked in hip hop class last night because this enthusiastic, over make-up'd redhead that settled in next to me had no rhythm. I'm not talking like being a little awkward or taking a minute to catch on to the choreography, I'm talking zero rhythm. Clapping two beats after the rest of us, missing every turn by a solid 10 seconds, facing backwards when we were facing front...the entire class time! It was distracting to say the least!

So today's song is by Seether: Careless Whisper (Yes I know George Michael did it first but I like that this one rocks) because "guilty feet have got no rhythm" ... her feet must have been really guilty!!


Thursday, December 6, 2012

A little less Lonesome Jackalope

Today I'm over sharing some quality time and good whiskey with the every charming Lonesome Jackalope.  We are having some fun with online dating profiles, and the truth (or lack thereof) that can found in such a thing.

Run on over there and join us for a drink! I will bet that you have so much fun that you decide to stick around with my Jackalope friend for a while. He's good company.



Tuesday, December 4, 2012

What's in a title?

Let me tell you kids, if I were a "girlfriend", I would be an awesome girlfriend! But since I am being stubborn about being collared with an official relationship status/title, we'll just say I am definitely a good person to have the favor of when one's birthday rolls around. 

It was time for the 2nd annual Twin birthday extravaganza the weekend after Thanksgiving. Last year, we had been dating for a long few months and I treated him to an awesome downtown city, fun filled birthday bash that would be hard to top. Granted, it was a little early to be spoiling someone so much but it really was self-serving as you kids now how much I like hotel sex and amazing food and any reason to find myself in that situation is a good enough reason for me.  

But top it I did! This year's birthday weekend blew last year out of the water I tell ya! 

I love planning epic weekends. I'm good at it. And this year I was able to make some new friends that were able to hook me up with the best room in the best hotel in the city with a view that cannot be beat! We stayed at the same hotel last year but this year our return visit was far and above the great stay we had last time. And I'm not exaggerating. Throw in reservations at a couple of outstanding restaurants, a tour of the city lights, and a night on the town that ended in a dimly lit, vodka infused, cigar bar/speak easy place and it really was a good weekend. 

And yes, there was hotel sex. Lots of hotel sex. Randy left that room a very happy girl, with an equally happy birthday boy. It took three days to get that smile off his face. I'm sure the new lacy things I packed had nothing to do with that. Nope, not in the least. 

Was it a bit extravagant for someone that I won't even call my boyfriend technically? Yes, yes it was. Did I enjoy the process of planning it and letting it unfold over the course of the weekend? I sure did! It was an excuse to put some special effort into a weekend I would have enjoyed on my own, but enjoyed much more so because we were together. I think that says a lot. 

So what if I won't call him boyfriend? If he gets treated like one, gets spoiled like one, and gets the perks of  being one, shouldn't that be enough? 





Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Good Problems

Good Problems. Is there such a thing? If having too many things to be thankful for is a problem, then yes, there are good problems. I realize that I'm the exception as opposed to the rule as so many people are facing things that just beat them down on a daily basis, but I'm blessed or lucky or a little bit of both.

I hope all of my American friends enjoy Thanksgiving and survive whatever chaos comes with it or shortly thereafter.

Be safe. Be happy. Be thankful.


Friday, November 16, 2012

"Soft-Core Friday" - Talking Twinkies

Today my friends, it's with a heavy heart that I share the sad news that Hostess, the maker of the beloved Twinkies, Ding Dongs, and Ho-Ho's is shutting it's doors. Management and Labor could not reach an agreement to resolve an on-going strike and the company followed through on it's promise to shut down if an agreement could not be reached. *Commence playing of taps*

Now, there are few things that this girl loves more than sugary filled goodness and Hostess was always able to scratch that itch for me. Twinkies and Ho-Hos were like that ex that I could run back to for a quick pick me up after a bad break up with another guy. I found solace in the chocolate covered, cream filled deliciousness. Sadly, it will be no more!

Plus, it always made me giggle to say Ding Dongs and Ho-Hos. Laughter is good and now I'm going to have to find a new snack food to share my pervy humor with. Any suggestions?

I would write more, but I have to run to the grocery and buy out the remaining stock before they run out!



But judging by the still frame on this video clip, Bon Jovi might start making new music now that he lost his job at the Twinkie factory.
Hostess worker


Wednesday, November 14, 2012

How To Win Her Love

How do you win a woman's love? It can be tricky business no doubt. But someone is figuring it out, this E-card proves it. It's good advice guys, take it to heart!

I'm particularly found of #5 as you kids already know. 


Friday, November 9, 2012

"Soft-Core Friday" - Booty Pop'in

What a week it has been! I have seldom seen so much venom spewed and calamity claimed as I have in the last week. I'm over it. Time for some nonsense!

There are a lot of tools out there to help women with their...shortcomings. There are bras so padded that you can go from an A to a DD in the blink of an eye (just know you have some explaining to do if you end up getting naked with a guy that your DD girls bagged for ya!). You can go from short hair to long with a few clip ins. You can go from pasty pale to golden bronzed with nothing more than a few well applied passes of a spray can. There are tools to help women enhance their natural beauty false advertise in just about every way.

Including making skinny white girls booty-licious. Like Beyonce ya'll. For real.

Yes, I'm talking about the Buty Panty. Basically all you flat-bottomed girls need to do is slide on a pair of these sexy (cough) underpants and BOOM! You've got booty (or Buty) for days! These clever trunk junk enhancing underthings are your ticket to snagging the quality men. Trust me on this.

Now it wouldn't be responsible of me to not point out the side effects of sporting your Buty Panty on your next girl's night out. Side effects may include: double butt syndrome (if you get a wedgie with these, the butt cheek foursome can be a little unsightly), crooked butt (if you sit with one leg crossed for too long, your Buty Panty may shift), and severe awkwardness upon getting naked with someone as you register the look on their face as the disappointment sets in that your juicy booty was nothing but smoke and mirrors...and Buty Panty.

Genius or madness? You decide.



And the original Booty Pop product that started all had this handy dandy informercial. Come on, you know you want to watch!

Friday, November 2, 2012

Musings from the early voting line

I know, I know... I don't post in weeks and then you get this? My apologies friends!

Since I've been standing in the early voting line for an hour and have about as long to go still, I figured I would try to entertain myself while I was standing here.

Here's what I've learned so far:
Having only one early voting location for an entire large county is a bad idea.

Thinking I could get in and get out on my lunch hour was also a bad idea. Doesn't anybody work on Fridays?

People are voting. Lots of people. Old people, young people, white people, black people, white collar and blue...they are all voting. Here. Today.

In making small talk, most people seem to be voting early because they just want to be done with the whole political circus. We all agree there should be an opt out for all political commercials as a reward for voting early. Somebody work on that!

I should have eaten before I came to vote. If I pass out and get carried out on a stretcher before I get to cast my ballot, I'm going to be pissed!

Voting is important. Even if you're not being fought over in a swing state.

So as I turn another corner in this seemingly endless winding line to voting machines, I hope I've done enough homework, weighed my options careful, and make the best decision possible given the options.


Friday, October 19, 2012

"Soft-Core Friday" - A guest post with a little kink

Today it is my pleasure to have a great friend of mine do a guest post for all of you kids here at Random Girl.  You'll being hearing more from here as he continues to share his story with us all, it's a good one! Please join me in welcoming Mr. Mad Hatter!


I first want to thank RG for the opportunity to guest post on her blog. I have been a long-time follower of her shenanigans and through discussing our trials, tribulations, and mutual loft for toeing the line between bad and badass, I have discovered a dear friend.  Thanks again RG for letting me become a part of your dirty little universe. 

My personal story is one I feel many readers can relate to, particularly those who reside in a metropolis such as New York City – A committed relationship turned domesticated partnership more-so because it made financial sense rather than our eagerness to spend every free night with one another. Add in the fact that we have little to nothing in common, and live in a shoebox and our relationship was a recipe for disaster.

 During the year we spent as ‘live-in-lovers’ the communication had dwindled and the sex became non-existent.  In my pre-domesticated days I had always wanted to push the envelope in the bedroom – wanting to explore the female body as bringing a woman to climax was more pleasurable to me than getting-off myself. (This statement still holds true today as there is something about the moment which resonates deep inside of me long-after the clothes are back on and we are back to our normal routines.) However, since my days as a +1 I lost all eagerness to explore, to push myself in the bedroom and to find that sexual gratification I had been longing for.

It wasn’t long after I read RG’s SCF post on the world of kink that suddenly the inner workings of my deepest core started to sputter.  Prior to RG’s post I had no any idea what a cuckold was or that in the inner circle of this lifestyle it was an honor to become someone’s slave.  All of this intrigued me and I wanted to learn more.

I created a profile on a well established kink site and decided to see what the world had to offer.  I have no pre-existing history with the genre nor have I any idea what lies ahead. What I do know is that although comfortable in my sexuality I am in search for something – Maybe this is a short-term gain or a long-term lifestyle. Regardless of the end game I have let my curiosity take me away from the vanilla lifestyle and deep into the dungeons of the world known as Kink. I invite you to stay tuned as I will be updating my progress here on RG’s site.

Below is a song which I feel exemplifies my thoughts into the unknown world of kink – Happy SCF Everyone!




Rhiana S&M 

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

What I learned between Friday & Monday

Yes, I know it's almost the end of Wednesday. I had catching up to do, deal with it!

This weekend had me again on a plane headed west to one of my favorite places to hang with one of my favorite people. No, not Vegas, but it's just as good but in a totally different way. There are mountains, and I still got to shoot craps for a bit so maybe it's actually better than Vegas.

Instead of boring you with a slide show or long, wordy narrative, I'll just give you the list of things I learned this weekend. Deal?
1) I invented a very cool new word, and it's catching on. I won't tell you what it is, but you will probably hear it soon and know what I'm talking about
2) There are many ways to make a decision. The best is while having many margaritas and eating jalapenos.
3) Having  a picnic in the snow is more fun than you would think when you are at 10,000 ft with a spectacular view. And there's wine.
4) It's more fun to gamble when you are playing with someone else's money.
5) Unexpectedly meeting a published author/local hero in a dive bar in the middle of nowhere and getting a signed copy of his book can happen and it's kind of cool.
6) You can make an awesome and full weekend based around the concept of words.
7) I clearly do not understand most people's definition of art.
8) I am not very good at fixing technical issues in the middle of  day-long bar crawl.
9) If you have an address that is not found on GPS, the cab probably will never actually show up
10) Everything, and I mean everything, is better when shared with an amazing person.

Yes, sometimes there is a big fucking bolder in the middle of your road, find a way around it and get on to your adventure!

Monday, October 8, 2012

Everything I need to know about Kink I learned on Wikipedia

A funny thing happened this weekend on my way to the...no, actually I wasn't going anywhere but a funny thing still happened.

I recently crossed paths with a guy who apparently enjoys the D/s dynamic when it comes to sexy time and for some reason, he has decided that I would make the perfect Dommes for him. Flattering right?!? The only problem is that a) I am not looking to be a Dommes at the moment (or ever) and b) I have no idea what would even come with that role nor do I necessarily want to.

But I'm a curious person by nature so if a guy opens himself up to me to share such a personal preference in rather vivid detail, I feel obligated to at least educate myself on the topic prior to casting a hard and fast judgement on the situation.

Upon our initial conversation (which he continually referred to me as goddess and/or his queen) he agreed to let me ask as many questions as I wanted knowing that I was going to fall on the side of "not interested" even before we started.

And he answered them all, not in a way that was sexual or that led me to believe he was getting off on it, he just openly shared how it works and his experience in the the D/s lifestyle. I appreciated his willingness to be so open because honestly, some of the stuff he explained to me was a little shocking, and it takes a lot to shock RG most of the time.

He explained that he is a cuckold. I had heard the term before but didn't really know all that was entailed. Essentially, thanks to his explanation and the super-reliable history of the term via Wikipedia, he enjoys the humiliation bestowed upon him by watching his Dom have sex with other men. This is not be confused with him wanting a threesome or being gay, which he doesn't and isn't, but is more about him receiving pleasure through basically being humiliated by his key holder being pleasured by another man as opposed to him. I don't get this concept at all but it is very much his thing.

That right there pretty much had me knowing I was 100% out. And I told him as much.

But he continued to oblige my questions with very open and detailed answers. So I kept asking because at this point, it was kind of like a car wreck that I couldn't look away from. Curiosity had gotten the better of me.

His particular take on the fetish is that he enjoys seeing his Dommes pleased by someone else. He also enjoys the process of helping her pick out a "well hung stud". He enjoys being completely controlled and essentially "sissified" by a woman in the bedroom. We are talking wearing women's panties and keeping himself restrained in a locked chastity device, not allowing release until he is told to by his Goddess, his key holder.

Sounds like a twisted form of torture to me but I guess that's kind of the point. Giving up complete control to someone is something I can't imagine myself doing, but I can see where it would be a bit of turn on in the right relationship and under the right circumstances. I just don't think that it's something I could put at a center of a relationship and feel fulfilled by that. But to each their own I suppose.

He claims to be a perfectly normal person in all other aspects of his life. He is educated, has a good job, owns his own house, is close with his family...all things I can relate to. He is just looking for someone that wants a committed, solid relationship and future with him, who can also fulfill his unique needs in the intimate part of the relationship.

I'm thinking dude, it's hard enough to find all of that when your tastes run closer to the mainstream, vanilla realm of sexual preferences, but throw in the D/s cuckold kink piece of the puzzle and I can appreciate how it may seem damn near impossible to find.

After our conversations and falling down the wikipedia-fueled rabbit hole of kinkery, I have learned a lot about what other people are doing in the bedroom. Frankly, it scares me a little but not as much as I thought it would. In fact some aspects are kind of a turn on. But, more importantly,  I have a new appreciation for the fact that other people are out there looking for their perfect match and for full acceptance of who they are and what they enjoy, whether it's fetish or kink or plain old vanilla.

Ultimately, that's what any of us want right? Someone who loves us unconditionally, kinks and all.

Photo Cred http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/7/79/Fuzzy_Cuffs_on_Wrists.jpg

Friday, October 5, 2012

"Soft-Core Friday" - That First Kiss

Happy SCF kids! I hope you are enjoying the onset of fall colors and the sunshine that is shining through them, it's my favorite time of year my friends! Although I know it will be a brief time for the blazing colors before the cold sets in and the trees go bare for far too long of a stretch, I savor each day until then.

I kind of feel like I'm going through my own change of seasons, and right now I'm going to start enjoying the vibrant new colors that come with the passing of time and the moving on to what's next.  I know, I've been horribly back and forth and here and there and everywhere in between as of late but that's how it goes for me sometimes. Uncertainty, when I know it's not because I'm afraid of something, tells me I need to keep  experiencing and looking and searching for what makes me feel at peace and happy. So I am.

I have a trip to one of my favorite places with one of my favorite people planned for the end of next week. That alone makes me giddy. I can't wait to get on that plane and have 3 days of greatness to sink in to. I know beyond any doubt that I will return with a new perspective, some great pictures of our adventures, and probably a few shopping bags of treasures I will pick up along the way. The next week can not pass fast enough for me. I'm ready to go now!

And because no RG post is complete without an update on my boy(s), I should tell you that after a good first date and then a seemingly impossible set of schedules that had me thinking there wouldn't be a second date, the good Doctor and I had a very last minute date #2 this week.  We met for a few cocktails on Wednesday night, and 3 hours later we were making out against my car in the dimly lit parking lot of a very classy bar.

It started as a soft, sweet, timid first kiss that quickly progressed to the type of kiss that leaves very little doubt as to the degree of attraction you have both decided exists between you. He has the softest lips...ever. It was greatness! Boys, get your chapstick action on, we appreciate it!

There are few things I love as much as anticipation of that first kiss, testing the theory I have about if/how we will click, and then knowing beyond a doubt that you do click, and well. He nailed it. Soft, yet with a sense of urgency and just enough aggression to make me confident that he would translate well into another more intimate setting should the occasion arise. It's like jumping the first major hurdle to figuring out if this guy is someone that I would consider seriously spending time with. All signs point to yes.

And we left it at that. Smiling, and a little breathless, we said goodnight and went our separate ways.

Could I have invited to go home with me? Yes. Did I? No. The old RG would have had him home and naked quicker than you can say "shut up and pull my hair" but not now. I'm in no hurry to take it to the next level, I'm just enjoying where it's at.

So on that note I bid you the loveliest of Soft-Core Fridays and wishes for a shenanigan-filled weekend!


Friday, September 28, 2012

"Soft-Core Friday" - What are you looking at?

So few things are as awkward as running into your ex. Not just any ex, but THE ex. The one that you kind of fell in love with and lost your head over and then when it ended horribly, you hoped against all hopes that you just wouldn't ever have to see him again.

You can move (which I did not specifically because of him but coincidentally), you can avoid going any place where you even think he might go (which I did), and you can change your email, phone number, etc (which I did). You would think that doing all of those things might be really effective for safeguarding you against seeing his face again. And normally they would be. Unless you are on an online dating site. And then he can still pop up when you least expect it. Which he did.

Damn.

And it's not the first time this scenario has occurred with this same guy. It has been quite a while since it happened last time and then he not only took a peek around, but felt compelled to send me a long heart felt email apologizing for being crazy and wishing me the best in my search for love. Not necessary.

It appears that this time around he just decided to take a look and see what I'm up to and what color my hair is now. No message. Yet.

It's still a little creepy if you ask me. And seeing that he has spent time looking at me again kind of makes my skin crawl a bit. Move along dude!

I guess it's one of the perils of having to put yourself out there in the search for what you're looking for. I just think it's a shame that you don't have the ability to slap a warning label on some people's profiles when you see them out looking for a new victim. Be warned ladies, this is one guy who is not what he appears to be.

Have you ever run into your ex on a dating site? Did you look? Be honest! 

And in the spirit of reinforcing my position on this particular guy, here's a reminder to him that we are NEVER EVER EVER EVER getting back together!

Happy "Soft-Core Friday" kids!




Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Falling Down the Rabbit Hole

I have cried a lot this morning. I'm not ashamed of it. You know why? Because it feels really good. Better than it should, better than it would have had I done a little of it now and then instead of letting it all just build up, pushing it down, ignoring why it should be done.

Now, I'm letting it happen. Not excusing it away.

Nothing is wrong. Not by conventional standards. No death, sickness, or major disappointment. Nothing to warrant the unstoppable tears. But they have come from confirmation and from affirmation and from inspiration that it is simply just OK to do it now.

Something broke through the sarcasm and the quick retorts and the "shrug it off" attitude today. And today, it's just the time for it.

So I'm letting it happen, not rushing to be done or pull myself together, or making myself feel silly for it.

Nope, today it is OK. And I feel thankful for it.


Thanks to Not the Hero who had courage to post and the foresight to link to Haven, who did us a favor and posted this link. It's not normally how I would get from point A to point B, but it was the right path today. Sometimes you just don't know where you need to get to until someone else helps take you there.

Brene Brown: The Power of Vulnerability



Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Looking for Trouble

It seems that I somehow keep finding myself in the same place. A place where I could and should be content, and yet, I'm restless. And when Randy gets restless, it seems I go looking for trouble. Or at the very least, some good shenanigans to entertain me.

After being in my new city since mid-June, I've yet to date with the exception of the one lunch date and subsequent flipping out on me guy. Sure I've been spending time with Twin still, but I can't quite connect to him in a way that makes me feel confident about making him my "one and only" boy.

And so it begins.

Trouble in this case comes in the form of a gorgeous 3rd year med student with an amazing smile. He should be good company for me this evening. Now, we are just talking a drink or two and good conversation, nothing too scandalous as I'm still in dial back mode as I have been most of the last year. Hell, I may have slipped into idle mode for as well behaved as I have been. I'm not sure I could go back to the earlier version of RG now if I had to...it's been too long since I've gone all out on the craziness.

But it might be fun to try...




Friday, August 31, 2012

"Soft-Core Friday" - It's ALMOST time!

Happy SCF kids! Excitement is in the air around these parts and I can assure you that it has nothing to do with the RNC (other than that it is over!), Clint Eastwood's  bizarre & awkward riveting conversation with an invisible Obama, or any other such nonsense. No kids, it has to do with only one thing.....the return of college football!

Last year I had a similar moment of happy as I realized it was the season of love and tight pants once again, but this year I am even more excited. It seems that it has taken far too long to get here.

Tomorrow my beloved Ohio State Buckeyes return to the field. The countdown clock is ticking, 1 day, 3 hours, 3 minutes and some change at last glance, not that I'm keeping track or anything...

Today was "College Colors" day at the Princess's school. They claim it's to help raise awareness of college opportunities. I say the district is just as excited about college football starting as I am and are using the kids an excuse to wear their gear to school. Either way, this is how the Princess is representing today.


Now it bears noting that baby daddy is not an OSU fan, in fact he quite despises them so he was very excited when I sent him this picture today. I'm guessing she'll be coming home from the weekend with him with some new team swag for his beloved...just a guess! 

That's part of the fun of this season though, the rivalries and the smack talking, the awesome wins and the crushing losses, the fact that you can yell and cheer and claim ownership of a team, any team, and totally feel like it really is yours. Be a fan! 



Wednesday, August 29, 2012

I'm a button pusher

You know I can't just be satisfied being content so it makes perfect sense that when things appear to be going well with a guy, I would find a very large rock and throw that sucker as far and as hard as I could to disturb the glassy surface of calm waters.

My most recent antics? Well, there are several, but let's start with me not being able to fight the temptation to take a little looksie into Twin's phone recently. I was provoked though, I swear.

During a recent visit, he asked me if I would be weirded out if someone sent me something sweet in the mail when I hadn't given them my address. Like, specifically, if I had gone out with someone a time or two and then they sent me something in the mail. Would I think it was weird that they searched and found my address and took liberty to send me something. I said that it kind of would weird me out, but it's not like there's any privacy anymore anyways so I wouldn't be too afraid that I was being stalked.Weird question huh?

He then proceeds to tell me about a girl "that he had dated" that flipped out a little when he did such a thing once upon a time. I thought the timing of the question was odd so I was couldn't resist wanting to know more. So I did the one thing I hate doing or having done to me, and I looked at his text messages (I know, I know... no lecture needed, it's a total punk move). And low and behold, the fallout from this "girl he dated and thought was stalking her" situation was as recent as Mid-August, yes this August. Hmm, the plot thickens.

Of course, I couldn't and still can't let on that I know anything so I'm keeping my best poker face in play.

In addition to the mail episode, he mentioned that he had been on dating site to check out one of his friend's dates that she had said was a disaster. Innocent enough right? Maybe, maybe not. I decided to check it out for myself. And wouldn't you know it? After 12 hours of my profile being up, he had been on it. No message, just showed that he looked at my profile, multiple times. Probably wondering what the hell I was doing on another dating site. But his completed, active profile showed up none the less. That's 2 sites that he's actively on, that I know of. Interesting.

Of course, I'm going to totally ignore that as well. I'm not going to mention anything about it, me being on or me knowing he's on. I'm just going to go about my business and see how it plays out. You know I like a good mystery!

The odd thing is this guy is making plans for the future with me, we are spending tons of time together, and he is busy practicing my "love language" of acts of service on a regular basis. He talks a good game, plays the part to a "T", and seems genuine. He makes me have big emotional relationshipy talks and gives us both homework to do so we can discuss how to grow in our "relationship" on a regular basis. And yet, there's the not-so-boyfriend things going on above.

Makes a girl wonder exactly what she's gotten herself into...Theories anyone?

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

More words, More letters

I told you all how I was going to start writing letters. Real letters. Pen to paper and mailed with a stamp letters. And believe it or not, I actually did. And still am.

Since my first letter went out, I have sent several more. Not one a week as I originally was going to. Sometimes I'm just not feeling compelled in my heart to put words out. Some weeks, it's more than one.

It just depends. I am writing when I have something to say. Much like this little RG space. You get my words when I have something to say, but I won't force them or fake it. Just not my style!

One of my recent letters went to my best friend, who mid-vacation, found herself engaged to her most amazing boyfriend of over two years. This was definitely letter-worthy!

She and I have been through the worst together. Our marriages broke up within 2 months of each other and all the unpleasant things that come with such an occasion, such as uncovering affairs and fighting over children and stressing over money, were shared between us. It's a powerful way to bond. But so is celebrating the joys that come after. Sure, we had more than our fair share of shenanigans together in the in between times, but this latest news is truly to be celebrated.

So she got a letter. Based on nothing more than her text to me in the middle of the night that told me I was right, they were engaged (I had predicted just such a thing happening after seeing them together on a recent visit and warned her it was coming SOON!) I woke up that morning, read that text, and instantly had so many words to share with her, the letter came quickly and easily and off in the mail it went.

I think it's important to share your words not just in times of hardship and strife, but also in times of good news, new beginnings, and celebrations. If misery loves company, than a good party not only loves company, but it invites over often, makes up the spare room, and invites it stay for a good long while.

Do you have a celebration to share in? Congratulations to send to someone? Get our your pen and paper and get in on it!



Friday, August 24, 2012

"Soft-Core Friday" - Finally, A Royal us commoners can relate to

Happy SCF Kids! This week was one for the scandal record books as far as the British Royal family is concerned. I appears, literally, that what happened in Vegas has now been seen around the world. I personally, would like to thank Prince Harry for showing us that he, like us, can get down and dirty in Vegas! He's truly a Prince after this Random Girl's heart!

In case you missed it, the young (and surprisingly well equipped) Prince was caught in photos prancing about in the nude with a few lovely ladies in his not so private suite on a recent trip to Vegas. Now while this incident has embarrassed and seemingly enraged the Royal Family, here's why I'm saying they should just chill on the whole matter a bit. It's not as if he killed someone for goodness sake.

The facts of the case as it goes now are pretty much this: the single and somewhat hot Prince Harry was enjoying himself in Vegas, he and his boys had some drinks and found some pretty girls who wanted to continue the party, they venture to his suite at the Encore hotel, and proceed to have a friendly game of strip pool.

That actually kind of seems like a mild excursion compared to what could have gone down in my Vegas experience. He just had the unfortunate luck of a) being a highly recognizable member of the Royal Family b) partying with chicks who happened to bring their smartphones along and c) having a cracker jack security detail that dropped the ball on containing the photographic evidence of the naked shenanigans.

So I say, leave Prince Harry alone. He didn't do anything that some of us may or may not have done ourselves and would readily do again. I would venture to say that upon his arrival back to the palace this week, he received a high five and an atta' boy from his dad and brother. All of this just makes him more able to relate to the people he reigns over as far as I'm concerned. So just chillax palace people, your boy was just getting his party on!

Thursday, August 23, 2012

Daddy's Little Girl - Will becoming a father to a daughter help a 'bad boy" behave?

I find it funny (ironic funny not ha ha funny) that sometimes despite your best efforts to try to leave a person or situation behind you, it still manages to find a way to creep up and sneak in on you when you least expect it.

Take for instance my recent reminder of Fireman that I happened upon by chance. For those of you that have been with me throughout the entire Fireman saga, commence eye rolling. For those of you that don't know the history, you can get caught up here if you need a good dose of deceit and drama.

The long and short of it is that although claiming complete singledom upon our meeting, he was indeed engaged at that time and went on to get married to his long-time girlfriend during the course of our hook ups, none of which I knew of at the time. He denied, denied, denied until I had enough hard proof that he had to cop to it. Then I found out she was pregnant. That, he continued to deny through the end of our communication, even when there was nothing left to lose, he still denied that he was a father-to-be. Basically, he's a real stand up guy.

That was that. The end. No communication and very few thoughts of him have passed since then.

So imagine my surprise when, upon enjoying my morning coffee and reading the local newspaper while at Twin's house last weekend, I see the birth announcement for his "she's not pregnant, I swear!" bundle of joy. A little girl.

I was not surprised that he did indeed have a baby, I already knew it was happening. What I was surprised by was unexpectedly seeing proof of it in small print black and white while I was innocently trying to enjoy my breakfast.

Since seeing the news of him being a father of a little girl, I have had one thought stuck in my head: Will being the father to a daughter make him change? 

It's one thing to be unfaithful to your girlfriend then wife, to be having multiple affairs before the ink is dry on your marriage certificate, to deny the impending birth of your child when you are only responsible for and accountable to yourself. But can you still justify behaving that way knowing that you now have a little girl that will some day grow up and could be the girl on either side of a shitty situation like that you have created for the women in your life?

Will being a dad make him be a better man?

I don't know but I hope so. For her sake.

I was thinking of sending a congratulatory gift for the baby but that somehow seems...inappropriate...under the circumstances. Right?!?



Friday, August 17, 2012

"Soft-Core Friday" - Geeks, and Gamers, and Nerds Oh My!

Happy SCF all! Hope you all had a great week. Strange things are happening in a city near me... and the geeks, gamers, and nerds are rejoicing.

You see, Gen Con 2012 is going on in downtown Indy at this very moment. Now, I'm not quite LARP-aware enough to really get all the awesomeness that this convention of all things gaming brings with it, but I hear it's kind of a big deal.

In fact, I would venture to guess that this weekend will offer the absolute best in people watching that this city has to offer. It would be worth a trip downtown just for that.

I was lucky enough to be flying out of Indy a few years ago on the last day of Gen Con and you would have thought that Star Wars had invaded the airport. There were adults in full blown costumes from head to toe everywhere I looked. At the airport. Think about that and the security line for a minute. Yeah...I was not a fan. And to make things even more fun, most of those "characters" ended up on my flight. I'm sure if I knew who they were or what they were from, I would have appreciated that episode a little but more but I'm afraid I'm a little shy on the gamer knowledge side of things.

For those of you that know what LARPing is and have a desire to defend your galaxy, grab your costumes and get your ass to Indy ASAP, the fate of the planet may depend on it....or something like that!

I hear that geeks are the new hotties so the chances of getting some hot nerd-loving this weekend are high. I've noticed that for some reason, almost every chick involved in Gen Con costume fun dresses basically in leather and feathers and very little else. What more incentive do you need than that?? Just don't crush his laser ray while rolling around in the stock room at the Convention Center, it will totally ruin the moment, and his outfit.


And what better way to give you an idea of what Gen Con is all about than to reference the Phineas and Ferb episode that shows all things awesome of Gen Con type conventions and the people who love them.


Friday, August 10, 2012

"Soft-Core Friday" - Pleasure Cart Anyone?

Happy "Soft-Core Friday" kids! I'm a little sad that I got scooped by ABC News on this little gem, but I guess I'll settle for being a little late to the Pleasure Cart party because I still think it's totally worth mentioning today. 

You see, Trojan is not just about condoms anymore ladies and gentleman, they are going big time now with a line of personal vibrators. And better yet, they aren't doing it quietly or discreetly. They are taking their vibrating packages of joy to the streets, literally. 

Behold...the Pleasure Cart! 
(Image credit: Andrew H. Walker/Getty Images via abcnews.com)

Trojan has their Pleasure Carts set up all over NYC with the goal of making the day of some 10000 women. Talk about the gift that just keeps giving! And retailing at $30-$40 a pop regularly, these little love wands for free are an awesome bonus. 

Ladies in the NYC area, run do not walk, to your nearest Trojan Pleasure Cart and make your weekend a little extra happy! 

For the rest of us, we'll just have to sit here and pout a little. Keep your fingers crossed, maybe the Pleasure Cart will make a visit to a city near us! 

And for a woman who must use her buzzing friend a lot to be so damn happy all the time, today's song is a nod to buzz buzz buzzing inappropriateness. I get her double meaning here, don't think it's just a kid's song....

I know, I'm a little wrong but I just couldn't help it! All that buzzing....


Wednesday, August 8, 2012

How to react to disappointment like an ass

I have a question for you all today: How do you react to disappointment in the early stages of getting to know someone?

Let's say, for example, that you have a good lunch date and try to reconnect with that person for a few weeks but the business of work and kids and all sorts of things keeps pushing the follow up date out?

Do you keep in touch via text, letting that person know that you "want them to want to see you"?  Do you accuse them of being married? Do you get angry and lash out like an asshole when she kindly tries to explain to you that although she had a good time upon your first meeting and would like to see you again, that she is OK with meeting up when both schedules permit as opposed to moving mountains to make date #2 happen as if it was on some sort of mandatory timeline?

I ask all of this because, of course, this just happened to me. Or I guess I should say it has been happening to me over the last few weeks. You guys remember my good lunch date guy right? How we had a nice time, he seemed cool, and also said he was OK with me clearly telling him that I wasn't looking for a serious situation with him, just looking for someone cool to spend time with when schedules and opportunities allow? Yeah, that guy.

On one hand, I can understand why he was frustrated and I acknowledged as much to him on multiple occasions as we tried to connect a few times and one or the other of us had to reschedule because of work or family obligations coming in the way. It wasn't always just me that had to reschedule, and when I did, I always suggested an alternate time/day for us to try to get together.

On the other hand, we had only been out on one lunch date so it's not like there should have been a big sense of obligation at that point right? Despite us both agreeing we had a good time and would like to go out again, I don't consider that a binding contract that has to be executed in a defined time frame. Maybe I missed the fine print somewhere.

Whatever it was, or could have been, is really a non-issue at this point. We were texting a bit last night and I must have hit one of his crazy switches at some point because dude kind of flipped out on me a little. I could almost hear his maniacal laughter through text.

He quickly showed a side of himself that could have taken me weeks or month of dating to uncover, it's a scary thought really. I could have invested in this guy and had feelings for him and then discovered that he has an ugly temper and isn't afraid to try to cut me down with harsh words and accusations. What a waste that would have been!

I think there is something to be said for intuition. There was a reason that I wasn't dying to fast track things with him and why I wasn't forcing the issue of us getting that second date in. Perhaps, after all of my dating highs and lows, I might just be getting a little better at feeling people out before I jump in head first.

Lessons learned friends, lessons learned...
Photo info: http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Taschenuhr_sw_1.jpg

Friday, August 3, 2012

"Soft-Core Friday" - Let's Go!

Happy Soft-Core Friday kids! Yes, finally, I have returned for the fun! Hooray!

Today is about making it through work so I can get on with a fun-filled weekend. No stress, no schedule, just a few days to enjoy with friends, eat some great food, shake my ass to some awesome music, and spend some time in this new(ish) city of mine just enjoying myself.  This, my friends, is long overdue!

Whatever your SCF brings your way, I hope it's awesome!  Let the games begin!

And no Soft-Core Friday post would be complete without a little music to get you pumped. Today's song is one that I just have to dance around like a lunatic to, it's not optional, it must be done! So for today, let this be your message: LET'S GO!  It is now or never, really...so get off your ass, dance around a little, and make it happen!

Calvin Harris Featuring Ne-Yo: Let's Go


Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Taking a "me" inventory

So I'm back from my trip to Texas. It was a very busy but productive couple of days but it's always nice to be home. One bonus of going to Texas is that my best friend lives there so I get a few days of quality time with her while I'm in town. Doesn't happen often, but I'm glad when it does. 

I was filling her in on my current boy situation. She asked all the normal questions, what's going on, how do I think things are going, what's good/bad/ugly with this boy or that one. She's good about covering all the bases. So when the topic of Twin came up and I gave her the current low down, she had only one thing to say: Quit being an idiot!

Yep, she just called me out. That's why I love her. 

Her comment came after I had brought her up to speed on the most recent develops on the Twin front such as the massive amount of dedication, support, and attention he has thrown my way. How, even though I have pulled some shit on him and been totally honest about it (like dating someone else at the same time), that despite everything, he still is committed to me and to us and wants us to give it a serious try together.

I told her how I have been resistant, uncertain, taking him more lightly than I probably should have, and that's when she told me to quit being an idiot and see what is in front of me: A guy that is ready to go all in, who loves me and cares for me, and is ready to put in the time and effort to see where this relationship can go. Guys like that don't just come in to your life everyday she reminded me. I should give it a serious chance to let it be good. 

It was really what I needed to hear. It wasn't something that hadn't already been bouncing around in the back of mind anyways for a while but I am pretty good at ignoring that little voice when it's telling me something that means I have to really look at opening myself up and/or changing how I currently operate, pretty much in complete selfish mode. I'm good at it. 

I sat down late one night this weekend and took a serious inventory. And I do mean serious. I covered all the deep, dark uncomfortable things that I had been glossing over. I took a serious look at a few things: What I want in this relationship, or more correctly, what I won't settle for being without. These are deal breakers we are talking about. Then I did a list of all the things that I think Twin needs from me. And then came the hard one, the cold, hard truth about why I was afraid to open my heart. 

Pages and pages of writing later, I finally closed my notebook. I felt better getting it all out of my head and down into readable pages, organized thoughts, truth via words. There was something very freeing about it. 

But I didn't stop there. I decided words on paper were great, but those words needed to be said aloud, and they needed to be heard by Twin if I was really going to feel committed to us taking a chance on moving forward. It was the scariest thing to do, but I almost excited to finally be feeling brave enough to speak the truth and really, really lay myself bare. 

He heard it all. He listened. Asked questions for clarification when needed. He confirmed my speculation on his needs and added a few things himself. He didn't judge me or question me or make me feel like what I was feeling was wrong. It was pretty awesome. 

We found out that we are much more on the same page than either of us thought and that we have a lot of the same focus, goals, and wants for how the future for each of us will shake out. 

I'm still not 100% certain of what I'm wanting or what next steps look like at this point and I didn't expect this to be a magic cure-all by any means. But I'm happy with what I learned about myself, what I learned about him, and what we were able to figure out about each other. 

If you haven't taken an honest, serious inventory of what you want/need and what your fears are, you should. You just might learn something pretty cool. 


Friday, July 20, 2012

"Soft-Core Friday" - Everything's Bigger Here

Happy SCF kids! This is going to be short and sweet because I'm writing it on my trusty iPhone and because I'm at my big HQ office in TX and since they flew me here and all, they expect me to work.

It's true that everything is truly bigger in Texas. The construction zones, the commute time, and of course the boobs on most of the women in this office. I'm a little jealous when I come here but I'm trying to get over myself and stay focused. They are distracting though, let me tell ya!

Just an update on my letter writing idea, the first was written, mailed, and received by the intended this week.the response was pretty overwhelming from the person I sent it to. I'm very glad I shared my words because I get the feeling that that person really needed to hear them at the moment they did.

I've had several people tell me they are jumping on board and giving their words via hand written letter as well. I hope you will. And i hope you will share the response with us!

I hope you lovelies have a stellar weekend! Now I'm off to find myself a cowboy! Giddy up!!

Monday, July 16, 2012

I'm going to start writing letters

I've decided that I'm going to start writing letters. Like real pen-to-paper letters to the people that I love or have impacted my life in some way. I'm going to write, stamp, and mail those letters to the people that are intended to receive them. Because I need to know that they know what they mean to me.

I know that this is not a novel idea, writing letters to people who have impacted my life, but it is a new idea for me. As much as I share my ideas and goings on with the kids here at RG, I'm really quite awful about being open and emotionally transparent with the people in my everyday life. I need to do better. This is one small step towards trying to do that.

I haven't sat down and made a list of people I need to write to. I'm going to commit to writing one letter a week, and that letter will go to whoever is on my heart at that moment, who I feel could benefit from seeing my thoughts about them in black and white. It's a long overdue gesture in some ways, and will be a total surprise to some because they certainly would never expect such a thing from me.

I thought about typing my thoughts out for convenience and times sake, maybe even e-mailing to make the process quicker. Then I decided that is not what this effort is about. It is about taking the time to give my thoughts, in my own hand writing, to people I find very worthy and special. E-mail and typed letters aren't going to convey how special or valued that person is in my opinion. I'll be doing this the old-fashioned way, even if my handwriting is an odd combination of printing and cursive and some of my letters are smooshed or run together. It will be authentically me.

So I'm going to go out and buy some beautiful paper, a box of envelopes, and new roll of stamps and get to writing. Check your mail, you might be hearing from me soon!



Friday, July 13, 2012

"Soft-Core Friday" - Can we get back to the fun now?

Happy "Soft-Core Friday" kids! I don't know about you all, but I'm kind of sick of all the seriousness of things as of late so let's just have some fun today OK?

So you know I've been spending some time with the fam lately as we gathered to say goodbye to my adorable grandma and there have been some amusing things come up. The funniest thing to me was my mother telling of how, out of sheer boredom, she took a trip to the theater on her own one afternoon to see Magic Mike. Yep, that happened. If you knew my mother, this story would be much funnier but you'll have to take my word for it.

She continued to tell me how she was disappointed by the lack of story line and that she kept waiting for something to happen. Ummm, Mom, it's a movie about male strippers...that last thing you should be concerned about is the story line. I found that incredibly amusing and reminded her that the point of the movie was to enjoy the man candy, which she admitted she did, and then I got jealous because I still haven't gotten to see it. Soon, I promise, soon!

Have your parents ever done something that was so out of character it shocked or amused you? Or, even more fun, what do you do to torture and embarrass your kids?? Share!

And because I haven't had a good SCF song in a while, let's do this one up right. Here's a little bounce around music compliments of Neon Trees: Everybody Talks. It's on my faves list right now.  Enjoy!



Monday, July 9, 2012

A Good One is Gone

There has been a lot going on in Randyland lately but I'll get around to all of that business later. I just wanted to take a quick moment today to recognize an amazing lady who shared herself with the world just a few weeks shy of 90 years but as of earlier today has been taken home to get to become some one's very special angel, my grandma.

One of my very first blog posts and I think my first post ever at Studio Thirty Plus was a tribute to her as well. It was just after I had been with her in a very scary moment in the ER where I thought we had lost her but she was just stubborn enough to pull through and keep smiling. Since then, her life has not been easy and she enjoyed just brief moments of it when she wasn't dealing with some health struggle that had yet again knocked her down.

Even in her final hours, which I was lucky enough to share with her, she was the model of gratitude, strength, and humor. Although my family is sad to no longer have her here to share in our moments, we are all so very happy that she now gets to continue on her journey as her most perfect self, free of pain and those things which burdened her. What a joy!

I'm not looking for sympathy or comments by sharing this news, just people to join me in celebrating this amazing woman, the family she created, the legacy she leaves, and the wonderful example she provided me with of all that a woman should be.

Friday, June 29, 2012

"Soft-Core Friday" - I'm recycling, because it's good for the environment

Happy "Soft-Core Friday" kids! I'm once again taking the lazy way out and recycling one of my previous SCF posts because a) I'm still not recovered from the move 2) I have to run out the door in 15 minutes and 3) this is already like 6 hours late. 

All very good reasons in my opinion. And if you needed another one, Magic Mike opens today and ladies, don't pretend like you don't agree that today should be declared a national holiday strictly to honor Channing Tatum's abs. 

So enjoy a trip down memory lane and another excuse to watch the Magic Mike trailer. I take full responsibility. 

I promise, I got some super fresh awesome stuff rattling around in my brain and it will be shared with you shortly. Don't give up on me! 


Wednesday, June 27, 2012

How Did I Forget about "Dating"?

So my last post was a little guilt-ridden as I lamented my most recent set of circumstances which includes spending time with more than one guy and liking each of them while keeping each relationship completely separate. I felt like I was doing something wrong. 


Then, like the sun breaking through the clouds your lovely voices of reason started to shine through and boy oh boy, am I glad for that! I was reminded of one simple thing: it's OK to date. Somehow, I had forgotten that spending time with multiple people and enjoying me was not breaking any rules. It was, at one time, considered common. 


Dating. Just dating. Not rushing into a relationship or feeling like I have to define (or let someone else define) what exactly it is. What's wrong with just enjoying the time I'm spending with the company I'm spending it with? NOTHING! 


As my sweet Kat reminded me: "you are DATING--which seems to be a foreign concept anymore in our culture anymore where you go on two dates and BOOM you're a couple."

Finally! Logic clubs me over the head! Now I feel better about taking a deep breath and just enjoying the moments I'm having. Thank you all for your great advice and feedback, it's much appreciated as always. 

On a side note, LB came to see me last night. He says he doesn't mind the drive and he intends to keep making it. I like that. But I did think since he was making such an effort, I needed to make it perfectly clear to him where I'm at and the other ways I'm spending my time, and that I'm OK with him doing the same. 

He, surprisingly enough, was OK with that although he assures me he isn't now nor does he intend to date anyone else. He also shared with me that he assumed that I was going out with someone else and although he's not excited about it, he understands it and is OK with it while he sorts out his divorce and gets himself regrouped from all the crap he has going on. 

So bottom line is it went better than I thought it would and we both agreed to keep on keeping on for the time being. That's both good and bad as having him not be OK with that and/or flipping out would have solved my multi-boy problem, albeit in a very punk way. 

So my next dilemma is my holiday schedule as both Twin and LB have attempted to lay dibs on me for the 4th of July and all the festivities that come with it. I'm not sure how that will all work out just yet but you can bet it's going to get a little tricky...





Monday, June 25, 2012

When Two is Too Many but One isn't Enough

So I guess you can take the girl out of the city but you can't keep the boys from following. At least that's my current dilemma and I think I may have painted myself into a corner on this one kids!

So here's the scenario: Girl dates two boys, girl moves 2 hours away fully anticipating that one or both boys will lose interest and go away thus resolving said dilemma, both boys amp up their game and leave girl in very sticky situation.

Yep, they followed me. With enthusiasm. Normally loads of extra attention and confessions of deep rooted feelings of lovey stuff would be my dream come true but under this particular set of circumstances, not so much.

Twin has brought his A game in light of my need for assistance with all things move related and I'm guessing partly in response to him knowing that I'm dating LB and intend to continue to do so. LB has been more enthusiastic than ever and has moved mountains to find a way to spend extra time with me. So what happens when both boys are on overdrive for time with yours truly? Scheduling conflicts, that's what!

This first weekend in my new place was the perfect example of why I should have a rotating door installed. For real. Twin held down Friday night, but then LB got off work on Saturday and wanted to come down on Friday instead of Saturday as we had planned. I avoided that awkward moment by telling LB I already had plans, which I did, and that we would need to keep on Saturday.

So I sent Twin off with a pout on Saturday morning with no promise of when he would see me again. He was staying with some friends in the city because he was going to a concert a venue close by but assured me he wouldn't show up and cause drama for me and LB. LB arrived a little late but we salvaged the evening with a great dinner and some live music. He had to head out of town early on Sunday so I was left to my own devices. Until Twin met me for some time in the sun, which turned into the day, which turned into fireworks at a festival later that night. Sigh....

Here is my problem. I like both guys. I want to spend time with both guys. I totally look at each of them as separate relationships, independent of each other, and I have things I really like and things I'm not so thrilled about with both of them. I have no reason to quit either except for the guilt I have about spending my time and feelings on two different people.

I think I may just be poly amorous. And I don't know what I think about that. It's been a foreign concept for me up to this point, never really understanding how a person could have two completely different relationships going simultaneously. But I do. I don't really have a reason or desire to break off either one of them.

So now what?!? This is totally new territory for me. I think I've discovered a new level of emotional dysfunction even for me.

I know that Twin's tolerance for the time-share arrangement is growing thin and I can't blame him. And LB is not as aware as he could be of the exact nature of Twin and I's deal.  I guess the situation may resolve itself on its own but I'm not sure if I want to lose either of them. I guess I'll either have to make a decision of who to continue with or wait for one of them to tell me to F off. Can't say I wouldn't deserve it.


Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Is that daylight I see?

Hey kids! Yes, I have seen daylight through the pile of boxes! Hooray!

Moving this weekend was, well...it was moving, which automatically sucks but as moves go, this one went pretty OK so I'll spare you the boring the details and just say how happy I am to know that tomorrow I am back to working and actually looking forward to the normalcy of a regular day. I know, I'm sick like that.

I'll do a more in depth "What I learned From Moving" post at some point. Just not now. Because I'm tired and my fingers hurt from ripping tape off boxes for three days straight so this is all you get! No complaining or I'll come over with my packing tape gun and wrap you tightly against something very pokey. I'll do it!

I miss you guys!

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Boxes Boxes Everywhere!

Hey kids! Just stopping in to say hi and see how you all are doing. I got a few minutes to show some comment love on a few of your blogs but not nearly as many as I would like to. If you got a comment, go buy a lotto ticket because it was your lucky day! I know, I crack myself up!

So this moving stuff sucks, just in case you were wondering. I am doing it entirely on my own, which as a single-ish girl who is blowing off the guy who has proclaimed his love and undying devotion to helping me move and not getting an offer of help from the guy with whom I'm sharing my bed with more nights than not, that's just what I get I guess. I like to make things as difficult as possible on myself. I'm good at it.

There has been a lot going on with moving and boys and chaos and such but I'll have to give you all the short version of a few very long stories for the time being because I have packing to get back to and my job is still expecting me to do work and stuff too...the nerve!

First story: I helped Twin host his house warming party last weekend. I didn't really have the time or desire to do so but it was important to him so I agreed to show up, look hot, and be nice to people, which I did. The night was going well and he was in his element. I was glad I was there for him.

Until he cornered me towards the end of the night and proceeded to declare his love for and overwhelming desire to be with me, despite me telling him 100% directly that I was with someone else and intended to continue to be with that someone else. So you can imagine that that convo went not as well as he wanted and put a damper on the evening for both of us. I excused myself shortly thereafter. What a buzz kill!

Story 2: LB and I are going strong. Of course we are. What better timing to find someone that I really click with and am actually enjoying spending lots and lots of time with than when I am moving 2 hours away. Sure! Sounds perfect! Sign me up!

If it was easy I wouldn't want it, I know myself too well. There are lots of theories between us about how this will look and work post-move but my guess is that it will prove too difficult to keep up the frequent commute for one or both of us and that it will do a slow fade into the sunset. Either way, I'm enjoying it now and that's that! Don't try to talk me out of it. I won't listen.

So there's the short version of the two most prevalent situations that I am dealing with. There's always more going on in the background and I'll catch you up on all of that after the boxes are unpacked. Until then, have a great rest of the week and make sure you go out and have some shenanigans for me OK? I'm horribly behind in that department at the moment and it's making me cranky!


Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Under the Radar does not suit me

I miss you! All of you guys! I hate that I'm so far behind on my reading and comment love to your blogs but I plan to remedy that problem soon... Randy swear!

So you may recall that I participated in the wonderful Reverb11 writing prompts for the month of December. The very first one was titled "One Word" and it was meant for me to sum up 2011 with one word (I chose "Looking") and to choose a word I hoped to realize in 2012. I chose "moving". And so that's what I'm doing.

I'm down to my last 10(ish) days in my current home and city. Next weekend I'm moving myself and all of my stuff back to a city I have lived in before and left abruptly after the great life devastating moments of 2008. I'm going back with a new attitude and perspective, and sense of peace, and a very positive outlook on all that I will be doing differently this time around. Plus, Princess will get way more time with her daddy which is really the reason behind my finally getting off my ass and making this move.

I've decided that despite the many things that could go wrong or disappoint me as a result of all this change, I'm only seeing the sparkly silver linings on this adventure. It WILL be a good move. It IS a good decision. I WILL find many ways to continue to be happy and content as I am now. Those are not negotiable. They are things that were, are, and will continue to be truth for me.

So friends, I am plunging head first into all the drudgery that comes with the moving process but I'm doing it with a smile on my face and a song playing in my head because that just makes it all more tolerable. I'll try to stop in to say hello between now and then, but if not, I know you all will be around when I get settled in and have more time to play again because you are just that awesome!!

Not me, but how I feel! 


Friday, June 1, 2012

"Soft-Core Friday" - The Easiest One Ever

This SCF is the easiest one ever. Basically because I'm doing absolutely nothing for it in terms of creative force. I didn't have to, my sweet Kat and darling Jewels took care of all the awesomeness for me! Did I mention how much I love these girls? 

First up: Zombie porn. Not just any zombie porn but super HOT zombie porn. And I'm very picky about my porn. This is top notch. Go visit Jewel's site Naughty Nothings and check out Kat's hot, twisted words. 

After that, make sure you stop by Kat's site for more shenanigan-filled fun including her own take on the BDSM craze and her hatred of all things 50 Shades, I kind of agree with her on the points she makes, plus her true life story she shares is pretty awesome. Oh yeah, and she put my "Writes Like A Slut" picture up today too so you know that's cool too... 

I was going to try to find a fitting zombie video to include in today's post but the amount of bad zombie-related videos on youtube was overwhelming and gave me anxiety so I'm skipping it. Go read this instead. It's more zombie goodness from my sweet Kat over at The Indie Chicks.