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Thursday, July 28, 2011

Should You Mix Pleasure with Business - New Random Girl at The Dude Society

It's about time...right?!? The hot boys over at The Dude Society are letting me play in their space again.

This time I'm taking on hot office hook-ups, or at least what to think about if you are tempted to get it on in the supply closet.

Check it out, leave me some comment love, and pick out who you would bang in the copy room at your office...just for hypothetical fun of course! I would never encourage such shenanigans!

Here's  sneak peek of what is going on at The Dude Society...


Should You Mix Pleasure With Business?

If you are like most guys, slaving away to make a living, you find yourself spending more time with the people you work with than anyone else in your life. It only stands to reason, that at some point, you will probably find yourself attracted to one of your workplace counterparts.

Should you take advantage of this job “perk” or keep it strictly professional?

Office hook-ups are common, but can come with some major complications that should be considered before making a hot visit to the supply closet.

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

A Perfect Picnic - Indie Ink Challenge

We were perched at the top of the hill; just the two of us.  We spread our old quilted blanket across the freshly cut grass and plopped down with a giggle.  She wasn’t really concerned with what I was doing as I unpacked the sandwiches from the brown wicker picnic basket. Her attention was elsewhere.

She watched the ducks glide gracefully across the pond, her gaze followed them as they went one direction and then another with no particular destination in mind. 

When she tired of that, she lay down flat on her back, her arms crossed behind her head and stared up at the shifting clouds.

“Lay down mama, you don’t want to miss this!” she said excitedly as she pointed out the shapes that she saw in cottony clouds. A heart, a fairy, and then a bear.

With the picnic half unpacked, I set down the bowl of fruit, scooted the plates out of my way, and lay down beside her.

“What do you see now?” I asked her.

She paused for moment, grabbed my hand with hers, and a big smile broke across her face.

“I see happy!” she said.

“That’s funny,” I said, “I see happy too.”

**This was my entry for the Indie Ink Weekly Challenge. I took a little liberty on my challenge prompt from Sherree. She wanted me to:  Describe the best meal I’ve ever eaten. Who was there, where you were, and why it’s the best
I challenged  The Womanist

Monday, July 25, 2011

Stop being so nice! But don't be jerks...

I don't consider myself a writer. I write, yes, but not by trade or from a result of focused education to do so. I write because I feel better when I get words out of my head and onto the screen or on paper. I write for myself and have for years. It's only recently that I have began putting my writing out into the public realm. It can be a scary thing.

I took it a step further and started sharing in forums like Studio30 Plus, Indie Ink, and The Dude Society. I have learned so much from reading the amazing pieces that people have created and shared in these venues. I also realize that most of the time I am really out of my league when it comes to my writing vs. others.

I am lucky to have a group of fellow writers that continue to read what I put out there. I dare say that a few of them have become "friends" and a few have come to be friends outside of the interwebz. It's an awesome thing!

On thing these regular readers/commenters bring is support and encouragement. But because they are nice, I don't get a lot of criticism or critiquing. So when I do have someone offer criticism or point out flaws/room for improvement, my first reaction is "Ouch!"

My second reaction is "Thank you!" I have so much to learn and I want to be continuously improving my skills and finding ways to make my words more impacting and clear when that is my objective in writing such as by participating in the thinks like the Indie Ink Challenge.

For this week's II challenge I posted words around the prompt "Quicksand". I got a lot of great comments that let me know the feelings and intention I was trying to convey came across to the readers. Whew!

I also got a comment form a new reader. It was a reality check and although polite and ultimately hopeful of my "talent" also told me I could do better and it needed work. She was absolutely right and I even reached out in email to thank her for challenging me to step up my game and work through it to provide a better finished product. Her were her thoughts:

Grace O'Malley said...

The imagery is almost there. This is a good draft, but putting prose into short paragraphs does not turn it into a poem. I hate to be the only person saying this sort of thing to you, but you are talented and I don't want to just pat you on the head and move along.

You have the bones of a very sharp poem here! Now polish it until it can be used as a weapon.


As much as I enjoy all the positive comments I need comments like this to help me grow and hold me accountable to produce pieces worth reading.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not a big rule follower and most of my posts are just for fun and I feel comfortable throwing convention out the window and will continue to do so. But on formal writing and challenges where I a want to stretch and grow, I will keep the criticism in mind and try to step up my game.

So quit being so damn nice to me all the time and give me some constructive criticism to work from will ya?!? (Just don't be jerks about it...ok?)

Saturday, July 23, 2011

$100/hr plus tip? Really dude??

I had no intention of posting this weekend but this is just too funny to not share with you all...

Jewels and Simple Dude already know as they were on the Twitter when I first went off about this so they are the super lucky ones!

I've talked before about my dating adventures so you guys know that there really is nothing outside of the realm of possibilities but this is a first even for me so I guess there is still new territory to stumble upon.

I was checking my e-mail on the online dating site I play on from time to time and got a email from a guy that had sent me ones before which led me to discover he was married. I politely declined his offer to see him despite that. But he decided to try me again. And this time he was offering an "incentive" package.

And I quote:


$100 for an hour of your company!
plus tip!


W.T.F?!?

Ummm, no thanks. I politely clarified for him that I am not an escort nor am I a prostitute. I sensed his disappointment. Tough shit! I'm sure his wife would really appreciate knowing that he not only is on an online dating site setting up "dates" for when he travels but also that he is a willing paying customer of these "dates".

As if I needed yet another example of why I should have little to no faith in most guys out there.... I need look no further than my inbox. Awesome.
NOT

Friday, July 22, 2011

"Soft-Core" Friday - What's sexy to you? ...and some great dating advice

Happy "Soft-Core" Friday to my randoms!  I'm hoping that this week has treated you well and that you have had at least a few fantastic moments to propel you through.

I spend most Fridays telling you what I think is sexy and "Soft-Core" Friday worthy. From condom puppets to sex torsos to smoking hot babes that can dance like no other, I have run the spectrum from awesome to bizarre and I appreciate you coming along for the ride.

Today, I would love to take a different spin on it. I want to know what YOU think is "Soft-Core" Friday worthy.   What turns you on, intrigues you, is bizarre enough to capture your interest??

Share kids! Today is all about you!

Well, almost. You know it is really always all about me... but all I'm contributing today is a video. This video offering dating advice may help explain why my dating life just hasn't worked out so hot thus far....it seems I have been going about things all wrong! Ladies, listen up!!

I will give these "tips" a try this weekend and let you know how it works out for me... I expect GREAT things to come from it, probably even a marriage proposal or two!

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Like a bad penny...

I have been a little quiet this week which is not really like me but I have kind of enjoyed taking a step back and just observing things for a while. 

What has not been quiet is my cell, my Facebook page, and random runnings' into that have occurred in the last week. 

It seems, like a bad penny, all that's old is resurfacing again. The Man, long-suffering T, Ex-BF, and a newish guy  (whom we shall refer to as "biker boy") that I have been talking to for months but finally just went out with last weekend. All of them, once in frequent contact then nowhere to be found, are back again. 

I should have known this would happen as I attempt to clear the slate, start anew, break old habits, of course the players in all of the past shenanigans would see fit to interject themselves back into the situation, or at least attempt to. 

I hate feeling like I'm totally optional. These boys are all experts in opening the door to that feeling. I need a deadbolt....quick! 

Monday, July 18, 2011

Quicksand - Indie Ink Challenge

It's Indie Ink challenge time again! It's starting to be my favorite part of my week!

This week my challenge came from Runaway Sentence.
My challenge went to Christina and will be posted here when complete. Make sure you check out both of these great writers!

My challenge prompt this week: Quicksand


Quicksand 
Kissing him is like stepping in quicksand
I instantly start sinking
The harder I try to pull away, the further in I go

The only way to save myself
Is to stop struggling, he says
The smile on his face says much more

It is a satisfied grin
Like he knows a secret I am yet to learn
He is looking forward to me finding out

I am lost under the weight of his body
Our skin, once uncomfortably stuck to each other
Now sweat-slick from the heat, slides effortlessly

Shhhh….. he whispers in my ear
His breath hot on my neck
As he pulls my head back with a jerk, his fingers tangle hard in my hair

The only way to save myself
Is to stop struggling
But I am sinking deeper, giving in to him

I relax into him
Trying to stop the descent
I am trapped, and am being pushed down further

He is the only thing holding me up
He could let go at any moment
Stand back and just watch me sink

But he is not letting go
He is holding me tighter
Going in deeper, taking it further than before
We are sinking together

So this is what it’s like to be completely taken over
I’m sinking faster now, into what I don’t know
But he is coming with me
We are going together

A force stronger than gravity
Holds him to me, holds me down
Impossible now to escape


This song "Gravity" seems to fit the sentiment of quicksand pretty well... Plus it's a beautiful song.


Sunday, July 17, 2011

Jared Leto Picks Good Quotes

For any of you that have followed Random Girl for any amount of time, you know of my adoration for Jared Leto aka lead singer of 30 Seconds To Mars aka Jordan Catalano of the TV teen angst drama "My So Called Life".

I have posted about him before and featured the band on my Soft-Core Friday Sex and Rock-N-Roll

Well, I follow his blog Notes from the Outernet and I am quite impressed. It's not a self-serving, self-promoting commercialized site like many musicians have. He posts all sorts of things he observes in his travels around the world and he is quite the photographer as well.

Recently he posted the following famous quote. The sentiment speaks for itself. Here's to hoping that today we are all in the arena.


It’s not the critic that counts…

July 14th, 2011 · Comments (125) · Uncategorized

It is not the critic that counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, and comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at best knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement. And at worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.
-President Theodore Roosevelt
Paris 1910

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Soft-Core Friday- Safe is Sexy, Worry is not

Usually my Soft-Core Friday posts are a little silly, slightly to majorly inappropriate, and pretty surface.

This Soft-Core Friday I wanted to give a little attention to something that makes sex that much sexier....safety. Depending on your circumstances, safety may be a concern of varying levels. Those in long term monogamous relationships with permanent birth control already confirmed... I envy you. For others of us, "safety" comes in various forms and degrees.

I have done my posts on the great condom debate, and how if it weren't for my insistence in many cases, it would be considered totally optional and thus skipped. Then there is the double safety freak angle that I have discussed as well in the past, which is the combo of condoms and some other form of pregnancy preventing measure like the pill.  Can you tell I'm paranoid?

Well for the sake of full disclosure, which I always have been determined to maintain here at Random Girl, I had a moment of weakness recently and allowed for one option to be forgone, multiple times. I know, I know.... not a good decision. I make no excuses. My logic was that I had been with this guy for quite a while, had a level of trust, and had a back up measure all squared away to prevent disaster of the embryonic variety.

And then it started. The panic. The regret. The "What the hell was I thinking??" And then something else started.... extremely sore boobs, nausea, and a general feeling that something was "off". I had felt that feeling before... when I was pregnant for the princess many years ago. I knew pretty much immediately that I was pregnant for her. Like minutes after conception I think. This, my friends, was not good.

So I found myself at the pharmacy doing something I hadn't done in years... buying an early detection pregnancy test. Not my finest moment. I got home, did as the instructions told, and proceeded to live through the longest 3 minutes in history as I awaited the results.

Tick...tock.... tick...tock...do I look? Do I not look? What if it is? What if it isn't but I really am and it is just too early to tell? No I can't be! But I totally could be! I am such an idiot!  And so on and so forth, you get the picture.

I took a deep breath and finally looked. 1 line. That's good. 1 line means no baby. Hooray! But it was early. So I got the joy of repeating the process 2 additional times over a course of a week. Each time was as gut wrenching as the first. In case you couldn't tell, 2 lines for me right now would be a very very bad thing.

Finally, things resumed their normally scheduled programming and it appears that I have dodged the proverbial bullet. But not without a very strong reminder of a lesson I learned long ago. Shame on me for being irresponsible with myself. 2 lines would have changed everything for me in the worst possible way.

The scenario, which was still pending when my Happy MomentsNot So Happy Moments posts hit earlier this week, did at least serve as some real-life inspiration, not sure of that's good or bad.

What caused the prego-like symptons? Who knows....I'm guessing the overwhelming sense of panic of my realized too-late stupidity. Not a situation I plan on recreating any time soon.

So in honor of making better decisions going forward, let today's post be a gentle reminder that it only takes once.... wrap it up! And have fun doing it...Durex has some helpful visuals on how to accomplish this if you are interested...

Ever had a pregnancy scare? What did you do while waiting it out? Unplanned turned out to be your best gift or worst nightmare?  Share kids!


Oh and for the record, this is my test, well one of them at least.... 1 line....hooray! 

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

The Flip Side - Happiness (or Not) in the Moment

Yesterday I posted my Indie Ink challenge response and got some really great feedback. One of the ideas that came up was how there could have been an equal and opposite reaction to the same result, a positive pregnancy test. It is one situation in life where it could be joy or despair depending on the circumstances.

That got me thinking about the flip side of things and I thought it would be fun to take my same piece of writing, and look at it from the other side. So here it is.


The Flip Side of Happiness

Everything about this should be right.

Joyful even.

This is exactly how it should have gone by all logical accounts. Yet I am crying.

The tears come from a place of pure despair, the likes of which I have not felt before. 

I should be happy. My world is perfect from the outside looking in. I have everything.

But now I have this.

And this is mine.

No one can take it away; even though I don’t want this.  There is no way out of it now.  

I guess I got what I deserved. 

And I am devastated. 


Today's song is another Coldplay selection, Fix You,  to balance yesterday's pick.


Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Happiness is in the Moments - Indie Ink Challenge

It's Indie Ink challenge time again. I loved my challenge this week, it came from FlamingNyx  and was:
Happiness is in the moments, where circumstance becomes irrelevant. Tell us about your moment.

My challenge went to My Eclectic Bookshelf and will posted here when complete.

Happiness is in the moments, where circumstance becomes irrelevant



Everything about this should be wrong.

Devastating even.

This is worst case scenario by all logical accounts. Yet I am smiling.

This smile comes from a genuine place of pure joy.  Happiness like I have not felt before. 

The timing is awful. My world has literally just fallen down around me. I have nothing left.

But now I have this.

And this is mine.

No one can take it away; claim I don’t deserve it, that I’m not worthy to have such a gift.

It has chosen me.  

And I am happy. 




*don't freak out, it's fiction.*


This song seems almost perfect for the sentiment of this story. Lost by Coldplay. Enjoy

Monday, July 11, 2011

So Imagine my surprise when....

Happy Monday kids! I trust you all had a lovely weekend and are ready to kick ass today? Good!

Thanks to everyone that visited my sunshine Cinderita's place and checked out my guest post on dating. If you haven't been over there yet, go now! 

I took the weekend off from the interwebz and it was a nice a little break. I spent time with friends and fam, got way too much sun being lazy poolside, and just really didn't do a whole lot of anything that would be post worthy. 

So imagine my surprise when I start catching up on my reading list and run across a picture of my very own lingerie-clad self over at Drake's. Well, actually, it was the picture of Cinderita's gorgeous girls that caught my attention (they are hard to ignore) and upon clicking into his post, saw that I was in the top 5 as well.
*Picking chin up off the floor*.

 It seems my small and perkies just won't go away quietly, they are such trouble makers sometimes.  So thanks to Drake for the shout out to the girls and for all the pervs followers of his that have come to check out what all the fuss is about over at Random Girl. Welcome to the craziness, hope you stick around. 

In other non-boob related news, I seem to have found myself kind of dating a handsome new gentleman. We were introduced last weekend by mutual friends. We hung at the pool  and had dinner with our friends last weekend so we had a chance to get to know each other a little in a neutral, non-stressful environment and I liked what I saw. 

After a week of texting and talking occasionally, we had an "official" date on Friday night. We had a nice dinner, went for a drive in his Jeep on a gorgeous night, and ended the night with a few drinks on the patio of a local bar. It was a nice real deal date with a non boy toy guy. That's a first for me in a long time. 

We continued the fun Saturday with a big bbq and pool day with a bunch of mutual friends. It was a little awkward since I arrived late (had to work at my volunteer gig for an extra shift) and he was "hosting" the gang so we didn't talk much. We did however, end up running into each other out on the town later that night so we got to hang out a bit and it was good. 

This is foreign territory for me. It's a very no-pressure situation and we both are kind of in the same place as far as just taking things as the come and not rushing into anything on the physical front so it's nice to not have to deal with that portion of new situation right now. I haven't dated in a healthy way in  a long time and I'm trying to remember how it goes, hopefully I can figure it out as I go. We shall see.... 

So that is all for now. I have some real writing to do this week and will be bothering you all with it but for now, I should probably get back to doing some work. 

Big Randy kisses to you all *MWAH*! 

Friday, July 8, 2011

Sorry I'm not home right now...come see me at Cinderita's!

Today I am hanging out at Cinderita's place...it's always sunny in Cinderitaville! That lovely lady truly makes each day brighter for me and I am beyond thrilled that she is letting me crash at her place for the day.

Come check out my Friday guest post and stick around to catch up on some her shenanigans...that girl has some stories, and that is coming from me so you know it must be good stuff!

Ready for the weekend kids?? I sure am!

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

You Owe Me - Indie Ink Weekly Challenge

It's another week of the Indie Ink writing challenge. And again, I got a great challenge to work with.

My challenge came from Disease and this is what he gave me to work with: Paying a Sense of Gratitude
I sent mine over to Jules and she killed it! Check it out.

Here is my take on Paying a Sense of Gratitude


You Owe Me.

That was all the note said.

And she was right. I did owe her. But shouldn’t it be my choice to decide when I would pay a sense of gratitude for what she had done for me all of those years ago? I thought that was kind of the point of showing gratitude, that it was something that was done because a person felt compelled to repay the favor, not because it was being demanded of them.

That is where we disagreed. She was coming to collect what she felt was owed to her.

At the time, I was grateful for how she rescued me, took the burden from me. She said I was too young to know better and I was not ready to face the consequences of my actions.

She made a false confession. They believed her anyways. They needed someone to blame, it had to be somebody’s fault. Tragedies like that don’t just happen by accident. Someone had to pay.

She had paid dearly for my stupid mistake. Never once flinching as she faced the scrutiny, the glare of the spotlight on her and her assumed wrongdoings. She remained silent after her confession. They didn’t want or need to hear anything further from her. The verdict was easily achieved and she was sentenced harshly. She never gave me up.

But it was clear now that it was not done purely to save me, but with the expectation that I would be paying her back at the time and in the manner of her choosing.

“You Owe Me” the note said.

Inside the envelope was a picture of a man and an address, nothing else. I knew what she expected me to do.

Gratitude was not enough.



5 Things To Never Say To Your Girl - Random Girl at The Dude Society

The fine fellows over at The Dude Society have been nice enough to let me in their space again.

This time I'm trying to help the guys out and give them a few things to avoid saying to their girl to help keep them from spending too much time in the doghouse. That's nice of me right?!?

Check it out, show me some comment love, then stick around and check out the other great stuff going on over there.

Here is a sneak peek of my latest...

5 Things To Never Say To Your Girl

Does it seem like you end up in the doghouse more often than the bedroom? Always seem to say the wrong thing at the wrong time? Left wondering “what the hell just happened?” when you find yourself on the receiving end of the silent treatment?
No, you probably aren’t that big of a dick. You probably just have a knack for saying things that your girl doesn’t want to hear.  To help you stay in her good graces, here is a list of common offenders:

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Hit "Send" for "The End"

Happy Day after July 4th! I hope you all had a lovely time blowing things up, drinking too much, and tending to your sunburns. What? That's just me? Oh well then, welcome to Tuesday anyways.

First, let me just say thanks to everyone that provided great insight and support on my situation with "My Worst Thing" coming back around. It took my several days to process it and get over my shock and the rush of fucked-in-the-head feelings that came with the situation. But alas, action has been taken.

I had a divine intervention of sorts. I went to church on Sunday, as I have been trying to get back in the habit of doing, and low and behold the sermon was on the concept of Grace. Which basically is us receiving Grace as a benefit which we don't deserve. Something that can't be earned but is given to us anyways. This was the message I needed to hear. I walked out knowing exactly what I needed to do to put the situation with my Ex behind me.

I came home and replied to his email. I basically just said that I wanted to acknowledge his apology and that I thanked him for reaching out to me when he felt compelled to do so. I also told him that there was no sense in assigning blame to things now and that I hoped that he had found the peace and acceptance that he was looking for. I wished him well and signed off.

I never felt so at peace as I did when I hit "send" on that email.

And then he replied. Almost immediately.  He said he understood that it was probably hard to respond to him and that he thanked me for doing so. He also said that he had expected a much different response from me, I am assuming he thought I would go off on him and drudge up all the craziness. I think he was almost hoping I would so he would have something to fight with me about but maybe I am assuming the worst. He offered to make himself available to me should I want or need anything further from him. I assured him I would be asking nothing of him and that I had no need to take him up on his offer.

He kept putting very leading statements in his reply, like he wanted me to ask follow up questions or open the door to further conversation, to give him a chance to tell me all about how much better he is as a person and how much work he has done on himself. Instead, I just kept it very neutral, extended goodwill to him and signed off.

He replied again, almost instantly. This time it was short and abrupt. I knew that me not engaging him would make him angry. He hasn't changed nearly as much as he claims he has and just because you throw "God Bless" on the end doesn't make it nice.

There was no reply to his last email and there won't be. I feel like I have accepted the apology he extended and have made peace, really this time, with the situation as a whole. Huge sigh of relief on that and not a single thought of regret for how I handled it.

Thank you guys for hearing me out as I thought through the situation. It means more than you know!
 
Hit "Send" for "The End"

In honor of cutting the ties and finding some freedom, today's song is "Gone Daddy Gone" by the Violent Femmes because I love VF and this song makes me glad to be done with it. 

Friday, July 1, 2011

My "Worst Thing" Comes Back Around

Normally I would be doing a "Soft-Core" Friday post today but in light of recent events, I have something else I need to get out today. Hopefully you aren't mad at me for it, I'll get back to the regularly scheduled fun-filled programming soon I promise if you will allow me this indulgence.

A few posts back, I was challenged by an Indie Ink peer to write about the "Worst Thing I've Ever Done". If you haven't read it yet, you might want to first because this will make a lot more sense with that for context. I wrote about how I fell in love with someone that didn't deserve my love and that was truly the worst thing I have done. Well, it looks like putting the situation back out in the universe got me exactly what I was hoping to avoid: he's back.

Yep, out of the blue. After nearly an entire year of nothing from him. No apology, no "how are you", just nothing. He had shut me out and cut me off so completely from his life that I didn't even know if he was still around or if he had moved back to Texas. It was a blessing in disguise because after the loss set in and I had allowed myself to move on, I didn't want to have to know anything about where he was or what he was up to.

So on Thursday, around lunchtime, I get an e-mail. Not on my normal e-mail account, but through the online dating site that I play around on from time to time. That's where we originally met. That's how I get it now. Nice. The title of the email? "An Apology".

As soon as I saw his picture, I stopped breathing. In that single second, I had about 100 different thoughts race through my head. Why? Why now? What does he want? Should I just delete it and block him and be done with it? I loved him.  He's so cute. Shit! I hate this!

I just sat there for a minute, contemplating what to do next. Eventually, I decided I needed to read it. They are just words right... what harm could come from just reading an email?  Well... I should have known better. His words, whether loving or hurtful,  always hit me in a way that was far from casual or matter-of-fact. This was no different.

He did it again. He drew me in with his words. Only these were different. An apology, it certainly was. I won't share the email here but he, in detail, took accountability for what he did and how he reacted. Apologized for the hurt he had caused, the conflict he created with my ex, the connection he had with my daughter that he walked out on. Everything. He pretty much addressed every single thing that I had been turning over and over in my mind for the last year. And I appreciate that.
Here is the line that hit me the most:
im sorry that when i entered into a relationship with you that i wasn't prepared to be a 
better man at that point

Woah. Right.

He didn't make any request for response, no plea to be let back in to my life, no excuses for anything. Just owned what was his to own, wished me well, and assured me that he has learned from our love gone wrong and has taken steps, both spiritually and emotionally, to do the work on himself to get his shit together.

I don't really know what to think. On one hand, I am really touched by his apology and feel I should acknowledge it. On the other hand, I wish he had never contacted me and would have just let it be. Now I'm all fucked in the head about the situation again and I hate that feeling worse than hurt or anger or just about anything else.

And no, the irony is not lost on me that just earlier this week I had talked about "clearing the slate" of my current distractions (which so far this week I have managed to do in case you were wondering)  and finding what I really want. Thanks karma.... once again, you have proved you are a bitch.

So now what????? I have no idea. I'm going to take some time and just really figure out why I feel so fucked up about what should be an innocent email and go from there I guess. Did I mention how much I hate this??

I know, I have some stories don't I?  In honor of my drama, today's video is The Story by Brandi Carlile