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Friday, April 29, 2011

Soft-Core Friday - Sex & Rock-N-Roll

Happy Friday Kids! Time for another Soft-Core Friday here at Random Girl.

Most of you have probably figured out by now that music comes in a close 2nd on my list of favorite things. You can probably guess what #1 is. Think real hard.

This week's Soft-Core Friday pick combines both, plus the smoking hot Leto brothers as I am feeling extra self-serving this week because I have behaved so well. Don't worry boys, there is plenty for you to enjoy in this too.

It gets a little edgy and  leaves little to the imagination so consider yourselves warned and don't watch it at work or around children. There is an even more scandalous Director's cut version of the video on Vevo if you are interested. Here is the link to that one http://v.vevo.com/kSv

Enjoy "Hurricane" by my recently reignited band lover 30 Seconds To Mars

Fighting Words - Red Writing Hood Friday Link Up

The Friday link up for Red Writing Hood is an awesome concept: Fighting Words



The goal was to capture the feeling, describe what was said, what happened as a result. Here is my take on it.


Fighting Words

We have had this argument so many times in the last year that it is almost like we are working from a script. He’ll say this. I’ll say that.  On and on it goes. Always with the same result; frustration and little else.

We used to have this argument with a great amount of enthusiasm, yelling, doors slamming, name calling. We used to really get into the theatrics of it. It was almost like a pressure release for us to just throw all of our energy into the production. The words weren’t as important as the intensity.

Now it’s different. We assume our positions on opposite sides of the room, facing each other but still able to steal a glance at the TV when the argument lulled from one of us forgetting our “line” to keep it going on pace. It didn’t even really matter anymore. He still says this. I still say that. Neither one of us really cares what the other has to say.  It is just an exercise in futility at this point.

It ends like most of them do now. One of us eventually says “I don’t really have anything else to say” and we go our separate ways. I head upstairs to the bedroom and crawl into our king size bed alone. He goes down to the basement where he will fall asleep on the couch yet again. I know this because it has been this way for the last three months at least.  The problem has been around much longer than that.

Tonight, here we go again. We are both exhausted as we assume our defensive stances and the conversation starts. His says this. I say that. On and on we go. Neither one of us having the energy left to pretend to be angry, we just want it to end. To not have to close another day out with this feeling of being so tired of our situation. To either fix it or end it, but not keep living in it.

But we are both out of anger. We don’t have the hurt fueling us to be passionate towards each other, even about an argument. The fight has just been used up.

I tell him I don’t have anything else to say.  I begin my ascent up the stairs, prepared to go to bed alone yet again.  But he’s not done yet. He says it. He says the one thing that he knows will put an end to it all.
It stops me dead in my tracks. I turn around to face him and it’s not anger, but almost relief that overcomes me. I tell him that I am glad that he finally had the nerve to say what he had really been thinking all along. I had been waiting for that. I had been waiting for him to tell me truth.   

I tell him that I will finish packing in the morning and then I will be gone, and I continue my climb up the stairs to the empty bed that is waiting for me. Exhausted but now relieved that we won’t have to have that conversation ever again. 



Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Being Good Is Kind Of Boring

Hey kids! Thought I would take a break from all of the "real" writing I have been throwing at you lately to take it down a notch and get back to the nonsense for a moment.

As I declared after my Overindulgence part 1 and part 2 posts, I have decided to attempt to dial back things in the shenanigans department for a minute. And I have. And I am bored. Being good is boring. And boring sucks!


It has not been without merit however. By clearing out the distractions and noise that comes with running in chaos most the time, I have realized a few things that I think are worth sharing.

First, I realize that I had become somewhat addicted to the blatant sexual attention that I had been getting from my various guys wanting to be in my rotation. It's not even so much about wanting or needing to be with someone as just knowing that I have the option to if and when I so choose. Basically, I'm spoiled and a tad insecure so knowing that I have options makes me feel better.

I have basically dropped communication with all of them except Secret Agent Man who actually has potential to be something besides recreation, The Man, who is more of a friend than someone I date now, and  T, who is still a friend despite our "had to be done" question answering hook up.

And I am OK with this. I'm not looking for anything else from anyone else at this point. But, if I am really honest, I miss the excitement of looking for something new, feeling out someone, what they want, what they like, etc.  I had gotten really good at that part and to take myself out of the game like this has me feeling a bit bored.

I'm hoping that feeling of "I'm missing something fun" passes soon, and I am sure it will as I find a deeper and more meaningful relationship with someone. If I can even still do that. I have my doubts at this point. I am really good at being detached.

So there you have it kids, my moment of reflection for the day. Hopefully I'm not boring the shit out of you with my lack of shenanigans but if I am? Oh well, too bad!


Monday, April 25, 2011

Indie Ink Challenge: Open Access

Hey kids! Hope you all had a fantastic holiday weekend. I know I did. I took the weekend off from all things blog related and I kind of missed it so I was glad to have a great new Indie Ink challenge to tackle today.

My challenge this week came from The Onion at A Lot of Layers. I am quite fond of this girl and her blog. You should check it out. Anyways, she gave me a great challenge to write around for this week. The challenge is included at the end of the story just to build the suspense a little for you.


I decided to take a a crack at this one and incorporate two areas I am not strong in, Fiction writing and dialogue. Hope you enjoy.

Open Access 

I stood at the door panting and sweaty, irritated because I couldn’t figure out the right key to get me in this damn apartment. After being here for two weeks, you would think I would have a clue but no, not the case. At least I had gotten a good run in this morning. I needed something to distract me, to clear my head and push out the thought of what was on the calendar for tomorrow.

I walked in and threw my keys down exasperated that it had taken me that long to get in my own damn apartment and he was just standing there looking at me.

“Nice of you to open the door for me,” I said with a snark. What the hell was his problem?

“Sorry, I was distracted,” he answered, an odd tone in his voice. I couldn’t quite place it; it was something between amused and disgusted. I noticed at that moment that he had my phone in his hand.

The news channel that we always kept on for background noise was running the headlining story, that big cell phone meltdown. Apparently, Blackberry had some sort of meltdown and all of the security code functionality had been disabled. There was mass panic among scandalous people everywhere from what the report alluded to. I wasn’t worried, but maybe I should have been.

“So, what’s your problem?” I asked him sharply.

“This,” he answered. He held up my phone.
Oh shit.

I guess I should have been worried after all. My mind raced to think about what was on there. I had been with him for a few months now but we weren’t exactly exclusive that whole time and I kept in touch with some of my other guys. One in particular that I knew could be trouble for us if he ever found out.

“Nice picture,” he said flatly.

He held up a photo of me and the other guy kissing. We had taken it as a self-portrait on our last date before calling it off. Innocent enough. He knew that I dated other people before we went exclusive.

“So what”, I asked, shrugging off his attitude.

“But I like the video better,” he said with a bitter laugh.

I continued into the kitchen to grab a bottle of water and didn’t immediately reply. My first thought was which video? The other guy and I had a habit of making impromptu videos of ourselves in the heat of the moment just to have fun with it. I thought I had erased them all but I must have missed one.

“That was a long time ago. If you want to make an issue of it now, be my guest,” I said back to him trying to keep my tone nonchalant to demonstrate how totally not a big deal I considered it.

“And then, as if the picture and the video of you with him wasn’t enough, there are the texts,” he continued, the laugh disappearing out of his voice, replaced with straight anger.

I knew what he was talking about. I didn’t really have an answer for him but I started to get angry back at him now for taking advantage of the security code being disabled and me being out for a run. I thought we trusted each other? Instead of fighting with him, I just stopped and looked at him.

For whatever stupid reason, I had kept the most recent string of text messages from the guy before. Maybe it was nostalgic, maybe I needed to see his confirmation of my decision on the screen to reassure me that I was making the right decision. I don’t know, I never thought I would have to stand here and justify it to him now.

“And you want to know what the real kicker is?  Not only do I find out you are pregnant with someone else’s baby right now, but then I find out you are having an abortion tomorrow morning without even telling me? Yeah, you can thank your calendar reminder for that little clue in.” He was beyond angry now, his face was red and he was clenching my phone so hard I thought it would shatter.

I wish it would shatter. And take all my problems and this moment with it.

Destroyed and laying in the floor in a million little pieces, just like I felt I was right at this moment.

I walked over to him and pried my phone from his hand.  His face was red and he was shaking. I could literally feel the anger radiating off of him when I was close to him.

Now was not the time to say anything. Anyways, what could I really say to him that he hadn’t already found out from my phone?

I picked my keys back up off the table and walked to the door. I wanted him to stop me but I knew he wouldn’t.

When I got down to the street, I stood on the sidewalk and just cried for what seemed like forever.

Then I dialed his number. 

The Writing Challenge was: During an electrical surge, all cell phones lose their ability to be 'locked". Tell a story about the carnage you think would occur when partners could read all of each others emails, texts and other technological debauchery.

Thanks to The Onion for giving me something fun and challenging to write about!


And on a side note, I wrote an article for The Dude Society, an online men's magazine,  advising guys to clean out their phone so if this scenario ever happened in real life, or they just have a crafty, snooping girlfriend, they wouldn't get busted. You should check it out! It created quite a stir!  
http://thedudesociety.com/2011/03/would-your-phone-get-you-busted/ 


4/26/11 Update: SeeSaw just completed the challenge that I gave for this week at Indie Ink. Stop over and check it out, it's an awesome and unexpected take on it. 


Friday, April 22, 2011

Soft-Core Friday - This Girl Can Move! Oh, and I'm lovely and my rack is still nice

Happy Friday yet again kids! It has been a busy week for Random Girl.

The good news is, I have recovered from my weekend hijynx and have done nothing scandalous the entire week....so far. Or is that bad news? Either way, I am behaving myself just like I said I would.

The bad news is, I have been too busy writing for other places to really put a lot into my Soft-Core Friday post but never fear, I promise this is beyond HOT! It features Heather Morris from Glee but don't let that deter you, she is super sexy and moves like hers really are porn.

http://bcove.me/xwl5xypp





Also, I received the "Nice Rack" award from my good buddy OT over at Make Daddy A Sammich. Somehow I keep getting this honor despite my small but perky pair. The girls and I thank you OT!
Now the rules keep getting changed because the boys are playing now so of course the pic of my rack is considered mandatory, not sure how that happened. I am a girl of some discretion (quit laughing now) so I am reposting one that has been seen once before but you all seemed to like it then. Enjoy!

And as if getting recognized for my nice rack was flattering enough, sweet and sexy Lexi from Lex In the City passed her "One Lovely Blog Award" on to me recently. She is a doll and if you aren't following her, you totally should be because she is as sassy as she is sexy and has a lot of cool collections....right Lex?



Hope you kids have a fantabulous Easter Weekend. I make no promise to post over the holiday since it is Holy and all and I might feel a wee bit guilty if I distract you all with my nonsense.  XOXO!

Letter to My Deepest Darkest Fear - Red Writing Hood Friday Link Up

The Friday link up at Red Writing Hood was an awesome one! They gave two options to pick from but there was no debating for me, I had to go with this one. 


The first one can be written as non-fiction from your point of view or fiction from your character's point of view. It is to "write a formal complaint letter to your deepest, darkest fear"


How awesome is that idea?!? I love it! 


Here is my letter to my deepest darkest fear. 


4/22/11

To My Fear of Losing My Daughter:

This letter is in regards to your constant presence in the back of mind despite my continued requests for you to vacate the premises immediately.

You have not obtained the proper permissions to reside in my thoughts yet from the day that I found out I was pregnant, you have made yourself at home and I find your constant presence unsettling and most unwanted. Your attempts to create worry and fear of loss have robbed me of moments of joy and have taken up valuable space where memories of smiles and giggles should be stored.

I have tried to be reasonable towards your occupancy but I can no longer tolerate your intrusive, unwarranted attacks on my happy thoughts and loving moments. You constantly tell me that I can’t protect her, I can’t be by her side every moment of every day, and that accidents happen. You yell that I can’t control the situation and that if someone wants to hurt her or take her from me, I am too weak to prevent it. You take great satisfaction in knowing the worry and fear that you create for me.

If am to truly enjoy each moment that I have with her and to live with love and happiness, I must demand  your immediate removal from the premises. If you choose to disregard this demand, I will be forced to firebomb your dwelling with obscene amounts of faith, happiness, and joy.

This will be your one and only notice.

Sincerely,

You fucking know who I am

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Telling the Truth - Studio30 Plus Weekly Prompt

It's Studio30 Plus weekly writing prompt time again, kids! 


I have been thinking about this Studio30 Plus writing prompt since it went up this week. I have been stumped by how I would approach it. But alas, it was time to write or quit, and I am no quitter so here you have it. 





This week's writing prompt is "'Integrity is telling myself the truth. And honesty is telling the truth to other people' - Spencer Johnson"

I saw a Twitter quote today that read “There is no time like the present to erase your past”. I could not disagree with this statement more strongly. To erase my past, to deny what brought me to today, to pretend that there is no context surrounding who I am at this moment is lying to myself.

Spencer Johnson said “Integrity is telling myself the truth. And honesty is telling the truth to other people.” How could I ever have integrity or share honesty if I deny myself my past?

There are plenty of moments in my life that I would like to have had the foresight to prevent, but to erase the fact that they happened afterwards? No. If I were to do that, I would be denying myself the knowledge of experience that I have now.  Essentially I would be blinding my foresight that I could apply in future situations and really setting myself up for more missteps.

Integrity, telling myself the truth, is me acknowledging my actions. There is no one to blame or praise but myself. Sure, people have contributed to situations, pleasure or pain, joy or hurt, but no one has lived those moments but me. No one has felt those feelings as I have. No one has learned the lessons of my life but me. To lie to myself is futile. To try to erase those moments is impossible.

Honesty, telling the truth to other people, is me being accountable for myself. It’s not for someone to pass judgment, offer opinion, or question my experiences.  Although many times that is exactly what happens when I share my truth with someone. But to erase that truth, to offer nothing but a blank slate or some fictional account of who I am and what I’ve done? How would that make me any more valuable to anyone else?

I live in reality. I tell myself the truth even if I don’t like it. I tell my truth to other people even if they don’t want to hear it. I will not erase my past, today or any day. 

Random Girl at The Dude Society - No Strings Attached

Hello kids! Random Girl has a new article up over at The Dude Society.

It takes a look at No Strings Attached situations and asks if it can ever really be that simple.  I would love for you all to jump over there and let me know what you think. As always, comment love is super appreciated!

There are a few other really great articles by other contributors up right now as well so stay there and look around for a minute when you have time.

Here is a sneak peek at what is going on over there.


No Strings Attached Sex: Can It Ever Really Be Simple?



Friends with Benefits. Fuck Buddies. No Strings Attached. Call it what you want to, chances are it is going to end up much more complicated that the simple cut-and-dry set up that any of those names imply.
Can it ever really just be that simple? Is there any such thing as a true No Strings Attached sexual relationship with a girl or is it just an urban legend? Something often heard about, fantasized of, and yet ever-elusive. The answer to this is yes and no.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Overindulgence - Part 2

Are we ready for part 2 of Randy's overindulgence weekend kids? Good! Off we go!

In my last post I shared how my weekend of overindulgence started.  This is how it wrapped up.

Several weeks ago it was decided that I would be heading to the The City with a few friends for an overnight and a change of scenery. I was very much looking forward to it and I do love a good road trip and the opportunity to tear it up in a different city for a minute.

My friends (a newly formed love connection) left on Friday. I stayed behind because I had  my on-going volunteering obligation bright and early Saturday morning. (Yes, Randy does good for others sometimes. I believe in Karma and I need to do all I can to balance out things in my universe on a regular basis).

My adventure began with a lovely multi-hour solo drive in the pouring down rain with winds that were really ridiculous. But even crappy weather was not bringing me down on this trip. I had several options going for Saturday night ( I have friends, old and new, in the destination city) so I knew going in to it that it would not be a dull night for me.

To my surprise, Secret Agent Man was on assignment in the SAME city for the weekend. What a happy coincidence! I knew he was working the weekend but had no idea where until I told him where I was headed and he told me he was 20 minutes from my hotel and would be getting off of assignment early enough to come visit me.

I am very lucky girl. I have confessed on more than one occasion to you all how much I love hotel sex. I was fortunate to get to partake in it twice last week, same guy, different hotels in different cities. I can't make this stuff up.

After pulling the black out curtains and taking a leisurely afternoon nap, another one of my favorite hotel experiences, Secret Agent Man headed over to bring me a little room service. Sorry, I couldn't resist using the term, it sounds so sleazy in a rap-song kind of way! Afterwards, we met my friends out for a delicious late dinner and drinks. He had to work an event at 6:00 AM on Sunday morning so he excused himself after dinner and the rest of us headed out to a swanky club to get our rockstar on.

And rockstar we did! Drinks, dancing, VIP scene, the whole nine yards. Things got bananas. Randy drank more. Things got more bananas. It turns out my friends new girlfriend seems to like me. A little more than a friend's girlfriend should if you know what I mean. I was flattered but that is just not my thing, regardless of how much I have had to drink.

A short cab ride back to the hotel at 3AM and one dramatic boy/girl hotel lobby shouting match after the cab ride between the happy new couple (I really have no idea what led to that) and I made a run for my room. I don't do drama, especially someone else's. No thanks! Off to bed for me! Alone, thank you very much. I'm not that scandalous.

Contrary to what you might assume based on my last few posts, I don't usually rockstar to a "bananas" level and seldom have more than a drink or two when I got out.I am usually much more low key on my outtings but thanks to the weekend of overindulgence, I went all in on this one.  And yes, it totally felt like it when I woke up on Sunday morning.

After a late check out (best idea ever to call that request in when I got back Saturday night) I spent Sunday enjoying the city on my own. I took my sweet time shopping,  had another delicious meal in a fab restaurant, and then got the amazing cheesecake I referenced in yesterday's post that sparked the whole recognition of the "overindulgence" theme. It really was one of those treasured days of "me time" and getting the luxury of running my own agenda. I came home happy, way too full, a little hungover, and really exhausted on Sunday night.

Although it was beyond fun, I think weekends like this are good for reminding me that I need to get a handle on myself once in a while and re-evaluate how I am spending my time. Taken as a collective venture, I really have been pushing some unhealthy limits and being a believer in karma and all, it's time to dial it back. Don't be disappointed in me OK? I'm sure it won't last forever.

Monday, April 18, 2011

Indie Ink Challenge - I'm Famous and I'm Being Sued. Now What?



I had so much fun with the Indie Ink writing challenge last week that I am doing it again this week. If you haven't checked out Indie Ink yet, get over there and see what you are missing. 


My challenge this week comes from Debra Elliot at http://debragrayelliott.blogspot.com/
She gave me a great one to work with:

Challenge: You’re a famous author who has written a
book about your past. Now you're 
being sued. How are you handling the situation?

Here is my take on that challenge prompt. 
(It is a fiction piece but not outside of the realm of possibilities for me at some point...right?) 

I always knew my past would attempt to come back to bite me.  As I stood in the doorway and signed for the certified letter from the courthouse clerk, I had tangible proof that it was indeed happening.

Prior to this, it has just been a series of scathing, threatening e-mails from him. Don’t publish it. If you do, you will regret it. That was always the general sentiment of his rants. He would throw in a few specific threats, usually centered around bodily harm. You know, things like cutting my brakes, hiring someone to kill me, causing me an “unfortunate accident”, all the things you might run across in a good Law and Order marathon. 

I just let him threaten me. I had the truth on my side. That should be enough.

Or so I thought. But apparently the truth isn’t enough to keep him from suing me. I was a little surprised by this approach because although I don’t know a lot about how these things work having never been sued before, I do know that the base of any good lawsuit is the discovery, and the discovery means that all the skeletons in his closet surrounding this particular situation would be coming out and would be put on public record. For a guy that didn’t want anyone to know about his relationship with me, that seemed a little self-defeating for him in my opinion.

This all started when I got published. He was never worried before because I was just a silly little blogger with a modest following of other silly little bloggers and who really cared about that stuff anyways right? He never got why I wrote or why anyone would care what I had to say so he never really worried about my sharing the details of our affair. That is until I got the book deal. And then the screenplay deal. And now the movie deal. Now he cares a little. Go figure.

At the time of our affair, I was the unknown person and he was the one in the spotlight. You see, he is a very important person. People care what he thinks and he cares what people think about him. I was always his dirty little secret. Never meant to see the light of day and never meant to be known. That worked out well for him for a while. And then I decided I deserved better and that was the end of us.

Well, I should say that was the end of our relationship. But our story lived on. On my blog. In the book. And now coming soon to a movie theater near you.  And he is pissed about that. He never imagined that I would have the ability or the talent to ever take the story past the screen on my laptop.  That was always his problem, he never believed in me. He never thought I would be anything more than privileged enough to be allowed to live in his shadow when he chose to share any part of himself with me. I was nothing to him, and nothing without him, at least as far as he was concerned.

But he was wrong. I was always more than he realized I was and I knew my worth. I just let him think he had it all figured out. That was just the role I chose to play for our story and it made for a great one.  I was not surprised that it became a best seller. I am not surprised that it will soon be a hit movie.  I know a good story when I live it. There was never a doubt in my mind.

Which brings me back to where I am today. Standing in the doorway, signing the letter that would serve as my acknowledgement that he was taking me to court for doing nothing more than telling my story. He chose to be a part of it at the time but seems he is not enjoying sharing my spotlight now.  So to him I say, Bring it baby…I’ll see you,  and your skeletons, in court.

Update 4/21/11: I challenged Mandy over at myplaidpants.com with a fun prompt and she killed it! Go check out her challenge response Weight of the World On Her Shoulders here

Overindulgence - Part 1

As I was licking the chocolate sauce off my fingers and sighing contentedly from a piece of brownie sundae cheesecake from the Cheesecake factory a moment ago, one word hit me that perfectly sums up the last few days: Overindulgence.

I have been the queen of all sorts of overindulgence recently. Like, seriously. I can't even make a valid excuse. I have ate disgustingly decadent and delicious things, drank entirely too much alcohol, had more than my fair share of sex, and in general have just enjoyed myself to the point of it all just being ridiculous.

Even I can't justify this level of indulgence, it's not my birthday or a holiday or vacation or anything. I'm either very lucky or have reached a new level of dysfunction even for me. I'll let you know when I figure it out.

It started innocently enough on Friday night. I met my long suffering "I'm in love with you but know it will never happen for you" friend T out at our favorite little bar for the world's best chicken nachos and Long Islands. Lots of Long Islands. Like way too many. It was one of things you don't realize until you are 3 drinks in and find yourself in the middle of the "why not me?" conversation.

We hadn't talked in months, since he confessed his love and I declined, but we ran into each other, almost literally, while we were both getting our fitness on at the park last week, so the obligatory "let's catch up" came to be.

So I decided, why not him? I have always said I would never go there with T because I actually liked him too much, but in the dreaded "friend zone" kind of way. But I  guess for whatever crazy reason the planets aligned that night because I decided to prove to myself that my "it will never be you" stance was indeed correct. And to my complete shock, the hook up was pretty intense and quite enjoyable. I know that does not help me clarify my "it will never be you" stance to him, and I take complete ownership for causing a higher degree of very unhelpful confusion to the situation, because despite it being good, it won't ever happen again and I am more certain than ever that it really will "never be him".

It sounds cold hearted I know and I hate that, but I care enough about him that I know he would be wasting his time waiting for me to reciprocate his feelings and I would much rather see him happy with someone else because he really is one of the best guys I have known in my entire life. It's just not there and won't ever be for me.  I don't regret it, it really was something that just needed to happen to fill in the missing blank for both of us and confirm what we both already knew. Maybe that's not a good enough reason, but I really feel like it was necessary for both of us to see our situation for what it is, or more importantly, what it isn't.

And that was just the beginning of my overindulgent weekend. It gets better. Or worse. Or....hell, I don't even know at this point. I guess it's a subjective thing.  I'll share more in a future post. I think I have given you enough to judge me on for one post. Thanks for letting me put it all out there with you kids, it's appreciated!

Sunday, April 17, 2011

I need to put myself in Time Out

Hello Kids! Hope you all had a stellar weekend as it is now winding down. I personally am almost glad, if I had another day of shenanigans, I don't even know what I would do with myself.

I will be detailing said shenanigans in the near future but right now I am too tired and *maybe* too hung over to creatively put thoughts together.

All I know is that I really should put myself in Time Out for a while, I have earned it.

Friday, April 15, 2011

Soft-Core Friday - 7 Wacky Porn Facts

Happy Friday Kids! Time for another "Soft-Core Friday" here at Random Girl. I know you much you look forward to Fridays just because of this right?!?

So I must admit I am feeling kind of lazy on this one so I let Cosmopolitan.com do the work for me this time.
They claim that there are a few wacky things that we don't know about porn. I think some of you could prove them wrong but this is what they say:

7 Things You Didn't Know About Porn

article by: Carolyn Kylstra for Cosmopolitan.com

couple in bed
Emmet Malmstrom
1. Women get turned on by monkey sex
Think guys are aroused by just about anything? It's actually the other way around. Researchers from Northwestern University showed men and women videos of nude actors exercising, masturbating, or having sex. They found that men have pretty clear "targets" — straight dudes got hot looking at ladies, while gay dudes were turned on by men. It's fuzzier for chicks, though. Even if they didn't report feeling in the mood, straight women experienced physical arousal after viewing pretty much any kind of sexual stimuli — guy-on-guy porn, girl-on-girl action, and even bonobo monkeys getting frisky.
2. Utah is the perviest state
A Harvard study found that Utah had the most online porn subscriptions per every 1,000 broadband users. (The state with the lowest rate of porn subscriptions? Montana.)
3. The body part that men focus on when watching porn is the woman's — wait for it — face
You read that right: eyes and lips win out over boobs and a badonkadonk, according to an eye-tracking study from the Kinsey Institute at the University of Indiana. The researchers speculated that guys look at women's faces to gauge how turned on they are.
4. The pill affects whether you go for the money shot
More from the Kinsey Institute study: Women not on hormonal birth control (like The Pill) zoned in on people's genitals when shown a pornographic pic. But women taking The Pill were more interested in contextual elements such as the background, or what the actors are wearing. Researchers hypothesize it's because Pill-free women have a higher sex drive.
5. All — literally all — men watch it
A researcher from the University of Montreal wanted to study whether pornography has an impact on guys' sex lives. There was just one teensy problem though: To form a control group, he searched for men in their twenties who'd never consumed porn...and he couldn't find a single one.
6. Most guys get into it before puberty
The majority check out porn for the first time at age 10, according to the same University of Montreal study.
7. Presidential elections put people in the mood
Talk about dirty politics. After President Bush won the election in 2004, red states saw a jump in porn-related Internet searches. And after President Obama won in 2008, blue states went on a porn-search frenzy. Researchers from Villanova and Rutgers University believe it's because being on the winning team creates a surge of testosterone, which spikes sex drive.
http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/tips-moves/wacky-porn-facts

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Cherry On Top - A yummy award and yes, I'll share!


So my lovely Hannah bestowed the honor of this award upon me today. Isn't she sweet??? The answer to that is YES!  I humbly accept.  Cherry on Top? I can't think of a better award, well, other than the Nice Rack award but I already got that one from my Sweet Kat and my darling Jewels

The rules say that I have to provide a link to the person who awarded this to me.  Go check Hannah out. I’ll wait for you.  It also says that I have to  provide 3 things that I love about myself.  Really? Just 3? It will be hard to narrow them down but here goes

  1. I live in reality. Good/bad/ugly, doesn't matter. I live in the moment and accept reality for what it is. I don't dream of fairy tale endings and I am grateful for every experience I have, even when it hurts.
       2. I truly invest in other people. I love being engaged in other's lives, riding along on their adventures,      and hearing the stories that make them who they are. 

        3.  I am very trustworthy. People know that they can tell me anything and it will never go further than   me. I keep things in the greatest of confidence if asked to do so. 

I am told that I need to pass this award on to 5 other bloggers. To Narrow it down to 5 is super hard for me because there are so many fantastic bloggers that truly add the cherry on top with their posts. But rules are rules so here goes:

my sweet Kat
my darling Jewels
my kindred spirit/music lover Lance
my random girl's guy Brandon
my sunshine Rita

 You should check out each of their sites and follow them immediately. Well, online of course, not real stalker like because stalkers suck. 

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Random Girl does "Risk" - Studio30 Plus Weekly Prompt

This week's prompt from the good people at Studio30 Plus is: RISK
I know a little something about this from a few different angles. I wrote a couple versions of this but this is what I'm feeling for it today, something short and sweet. Enjoy!

RISK



I know that walking into this hotel room with him is a risk.

I trust him; I just don’t trust myself to be here with him.

He will be a perfect gentleman, if I want him to. But I don’t

I am doing it again.  Opening the door and inviting trouble in.

I know exactly what I am doing. This is not a surprise. I am not a girl that needs to be talked into things.  Not one who needs to be persuaded or lied to. Compliments and flattery aren’t required. The story is already written. My decision is made before I walk in the door.

If my decision was no, I wouldn’t be here right now.

But I am here, right where I want to be.  

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

A Story in Which Nothing Happens - Indie Ink Challenge


I finally took the leap and signed up for the weekly challenge at Indie Ink. I was nervous to do so because let me tell you kids, the writers at Indie Ink don't mess around. There is some serious hardcore talent running things over there. But they were nice enough to feature my piece "Concrete" there last week so I do have some mad love for them right about now.

I received my challenge from Cope at Voluntary Tourettes's and the challenge posed to me? Write a story in which nothing happens. Sounds easy enough but I really struggled with this one. Regardless, it was nice to be challenged by such a worthy blogger in such a great format.  Here is my take on it. I should probably mention this is a fiction piece so no sympathy needed..... Enjoy!


Indie Ink Challenge from Cope @ http://voluntarytourettes.wordpress.com/


A Story in Which Nothing Happens



Ring. Ring. Ring.

I will not answer that call. I refuse to play in this game. I will not entertain yet another excuse, a pleading apology, or an angry invalid accusation that it was my fault that it happened. I don’t want to hear it. It doesn’t even really matter at this point. Nothing he could say to me would change what he did.

There used to be a time when I wouldn’t dream of not taking his call.  I lived to hear his voice and the words he filled me with.  He was my everything and I was always there waiting for him to need me, to validated me again for just another moment. Without him, I was nothing. With him, I felt I could do anything, my life was complete.  We were in love and we were getting married.

Our wedding was planned for exactly one month from today. It was to be a grand affair with all of our friends and family there to witness our proclamation of our ever-enduring love.  It would be a picture perfect day, I had already lived it a hundred times in my mind.

Every time I looked at my dress hanging on the back of the door, I was instantly transported to the end of the ivory clad aisle as the heavy double doors slowly opened, a bouquet of lilies in my hand, their fragrance strong and sweet. I could feel my dad’s arm linked through mine, see him smiling down at me, hear him whisper “you will always be my little girl” as he leans down to kiss my cheek before we begin our walk towards my love, my future.

I see him standing there, waiting for me. God, he is so handsome! Smiling at me and shifting his weight nervously, he never looks at anything but me as I make my way towards him.  I know that look, it is the look that I have grown to know so well, the look that made me feel like a real, whole, loved person.  He takes my hand as I approach and tells me how beautiful I am. And so begins the rest of our lives together, at least that’s how it goes in my head.

In reality, that day is not coming. Not now. Not with him. Not ever.  

The reality is that he decided he needed to fuck someone else. Not just anyone else of course. Anonymous would have been far too easy. No, he decided he needed to have sex with his ex-girlfriend, you know, for old time’s sake.  He said it was just one last time before he committed the rest of his life to me. It really didn’t mean anything, he’s told me so a thousand times.  And had I not had the audacity to walk in to our apartment at just the perfectly wrong time, I would have never known and we could have just gone about our perfect little lives just like we planned. It would have been my fairy tale.

This should have been a story about my happily ever after. But it’s not that story.  This is a story where nothing happens, nothing at all. Just like the phone that keeps ringing but will never be answered. 

Monday, April 11, 2011

The Random Girl Rotation - Weekend Review

Here we are at Monday again. Hope you loves had a fantastic weekend!

First and foremost, a huge thanks to Amber LaShell for making Random Girl look so F'ing hot! She designed my new blog look and now I am in love with it and her! Thanks Girlie!

Now, back to business....

Just wanted to give you kids a little update on the Random Girl rotation as I'm sure you have just been sitting around waiting to see what I have been up to since the search for Fireman's replacement has officially begun.

Last week I started talking to a guy who had some solid potential, let's call him Mr. Out of Town shall we? He is only here on business for limited time so that is perfect.  He is my prototypical guy looks wise, 6', dark hair, light eyes, athletic build. If it ain't broke, don't fix it right? We collectively have the worse schedules ever and despite our best efforts throughout most of last week, were not able to meet up until late Saturday night.

We made plans to meet a club, upon walking into which, I immediately ran into The Man. Remember him? What are the odds? Slim I tell ya, very slim. The Man seldom goes out and less seldom goes to this particular club.  Luckily I was looking smokin' hot and got immense satisfaction of seeing the look of "Daaaaammmmnnn!" on his face when saw me. He tried to stick around and talk but I advised him that I had to go find my friends. He proceeded to text me until 4am. Sorry baby, you snooze you lose with this girl.

Shortly after my second run in with The Man at the club, I met up with Mr. Out of Town. I was not disappointed with the real life representation of the theory. He has twinkly eyes, twinkly I tell you! And his friends were pretty cool too so we had a good night out at the club, dancing, having drinks, being a little flirty.

I'm  glad I decided to go and check him out. I had debated on even starting it up with him since he is on his way back to Vancouver on Tuesday but what the hell, life is short right?  As the night was winding down, we were just getting started. I can't tell you that last time that I have had a honest to goodness full throttle, hot-as-hell, horny teenager make out in a parking lot but I did on Saturday. So totally not me yet so totally appropriate for the moment and my mood. I got home and still smelled liked him, and he smelled so good. I almost didn't want to take a shower in the  morning just to keep breathing him in. I know, weird, but I love a guy who smells amazing but not in an "I'm trying way too hard and doused myself in a gallon of Abercrombie" kind of way.

I declined an invitation for an overnight. Don't ask me why because I don't know but I did and it was the right decision. He has been trying like hell since then to see me again..hmm... wonder why?!? We shall see. If it happens, it happens, if not... then have a safe flight home Mr. Out of Town. Right? I have gotten over my sense of feeling like I owe anyone anything because I simply don't. I'll keep you posted on how things shake out but one way or the other he is out of town and out of mind on Tuesday for good.

On the longer term front, Secret Agent Man is back in town on Monday and we have a date Monday night. It has been a few weeks since we have gone out or been able to see each other so I am looking forward to putting him back on the calendar, hopefully on a regular basis. I'm not getting too excited at this point because there a lot of unknowns but he has potential so we shall see. I'm like the teacher that starts everyone off with an A, it's up to him to keep it.

Other than stocking the rotation, not much going on with Random Girl at the moment. Looking forward to working on this weeks Studio30 Plus writing prompt "Risk" and I signed up at Indie Ink for a challenge, which my challenger has decided I need to "write a story where nothing happens".... he must read my blog!!

Thanks for continuing to tag along with me through my randomness, you guys rock! And a big welcome to my new followers as well...welcome aboard! Hope you like crazy and inappropriate because you will get a lot of both here.

Friday, April 8, 2011

"Soft-Core Friday" If You Had A Sex Life, Would You Worry About Mine?

No I'm not insulting you kids, it's the kicker line of my new favorite song.

Ever have one of those angry sex songs that really hits the mark on what you are feeling at a given time? Well this is mine right now. A little context for you on what has brought about this angry sex song feeling. As some of you know, I recently fired my Fireman. Yes, I know, who would have ever seen this one coming??? Long story short, the ROI just was not happening for me any more. It was supposed to be fun, easy, and good. No Strings Attached. Cum and go. Nothing less, nothing more.

Lately, for a number of reasons, it was more effort than reward. Long drawn out text fights, excuses, and not to mention his girlfriend was taking up a lot of my time. I was having boyfriend-caliber fights without the benefit of said boyfriend.  That was not the program I signed on for, kids! So as much as it pained me to do it, I fired him on Saturday night. No severance benefits will be provided. It did make for a rather inspired spot of poetry though, if you haven't already done so, check out Burn Me Down over at Studio30 Plus.

Now I know why most companies have security in the room when the firing occurs at a place of employment. The boy was not happy. Is not happy still. And continues to tell me just such a thing via text/IM/email etc. This is the hazard of hooking up in the digital age I guess. No more screening your calls. Eventually he will be at the "same place" at the same time. Awkward.

I have been tempted to reinstate his services but so far, I have resisted. We will see how long that lasts. I know myself well enough to know I am going to continue to be tempted. I'm currently interviewing his replacement(s) and am hoping that goes favorably. You know I will keep you kids posted.

In the meantime, enjoy this little gem of an angry sex song. Pretty much sums up my whole attitude on the Fireman situation at the current moment. I'm including a few stanzas of the lyrics for you,, kind of says it all but it's much cooler when you get to rock out too. The chorus is the kicker in this situation.


D.R.U.G.S. - Sex Life Video 

Desperation, before I hit the ground,
Reaching out for something.
We've lost it all before
And we still want something more.
We want it all!

Can't make you shake the way that I do.
Can't make you love,
The way that you're supposed to,
And when you come crawling back,
You'll see we can't change the past.
For the first time
I see you for who you really are.

If you had a sex life, a sex life
Would you even worry about mine?
When your bed is empty
If you had a sex life, a sex life
Would you even worry about mine?
When your bed is empty
You're a waste of time!

[ Lyrics from: http://www.m/lyrics/d/drugs/sex_life.html ]
This love was made to hate what you are.
You sold yourself and can't come back, you're too far.
And when you turn you around,
You see yourself on the ground.
And for the first time
No one cares just who you really are.

If you had a sex life, a sex life
Would you even worry about mine?
When your bed is empty
If you had a sex life, a sex life
Would you even worry about mine?
When your bed is empty
You're a waste of time!


Thursday, April 7, 2011

I Am Everywhere Today. Really. You Can't Get Away From Me

Random Girl is spreading the love and madness all around the interwebs today kids. It's like hide-and-seek only I'm telling you where I am hiding right up front so it should be really easy for you to find me.  So ready or not, here I am!

Oh and on a new midday update, I have been award the Nice Rack award by my lovely Jewels and my sweet Kat!  Me and my perky set thank you graciously! I would like to send this award back to both you sexy things because you possess spectacular racks yourselves. Other will be getting this award from me in the near future, I have to do some...research....


Today, I am thrilled to be the featured writer at Indie Ink. They picked up my "Concrete" post that originated from a Studio30 Plus writing prompt. If you haven't spent some time at Indie Ink, you need to. They feature amazing writers and artists.


I also posted some new poetry to my Studio30 Plus profile late last night. It is inspired by my recently fired Fireman but I think it accurately conveys why it is that I am kind of going to miss him a little. Check it out at the link here Burn Me Down


And last but certainly not least, I have a new article at The Dude Society. This was an interesting one to write as it deals with what happens if sex is bad the first time with a new person. Check it out, let me know what you think. And of course, feel free to show me some comment love over there so the editor knows I am awesome! 

Bad Sex The First Time? Will You Get A Second Chance?



You have sealed the deal. Another “first time” has come and gone and you did your best to follow ourFirst Time Sex Etiquette rules. But despite your very best effort, it was not your best performance. In fact, it may have been your Worst. Performance. Ever. Now what?


Ok, I am tired now. Look forward to a great new "Soft-Core Friday" post tomorrow. It's about Angry Sex, and it features an awesome song.