Friday, December 2, 2011

"Soft-Core Friday" - So now I'm a Girlfriend & Day 2 of Reverb11

Happy "Soft-Core Friday" (and day 2 of reverb11) kids!

I realized today that I only have 2 more weeks of work for this year so it is indeed a good Friday! This is going to be a bit of a mixed post because I can't let a SCF slide by but I really want to keep playing with reverb11 so you get both in one post: bonus!

I'm finding myself on this "Soft-Core Friday" with the official title of "Girlfriend" to the Twin. It kind of came out of nowhere and I guess I shouldn't be surprised because, well, I have been playing the roll of gf for some time now but hadn't actually had him say it until last night.

Last night we attended a swank giant holiday event downtown. All the movers and shakers were there. Twin was truly in his element. The man knows everyone and from what I observed, he seems genuinely liked by everyone he engaged with on the three floors of fa-la-laing fun we wandered through last night.  I was watching him interact with ease and when he walked away, there were genuine smiles, no eye rolling or "geesh, what a tool" comments from the group he left so that's a good sign.

He has social skills. And possible political aspirations. We joked about that on the way back to the car, he told me I needed to clean up my past if I was going to be the First Lady. I think he was only half joking though.

I was introduced to many people last night, always as "this is my girlfriend..." It was weird, but I kind of liked it. So it looks like I have a boyfriend now. Hmmm...  that's usually where things go awry but we shall see.
This is the song that has been playing in my head since... so this is your SCF song. An oldie but goodie. If I'm going to be a gf, I want to be this kind. Enjoy!

But enough about my bf/gf stuff. Onto reverb11

Day 2: My Children Will Do it Differently 
If you could choose one thing that your children will do or experience in a different way than you have, what would it be and why?

Wow, this is a good prompt for today. I only have one child, the princess, but I have many things that I hope she does and experiences differently than I did. My biggest wish for her is that she always knows who she truly is and that she is loved and worthy exactly how she is. I hope she never lets anyone make her question that or doubt herself and her worth. 

My parents really did their best to always make me feel that way. I can't fault them for anything. It was me letting other people override what I knew to be true about myself. I let negative comments chip away at what I thought I knew about myself, let doubt creep in over time and started to think that maybe what I thought about myself was wrong, that others saw me more clearly and that what they saw was truer than what I perceived myself to be. 

I think everyone goes through a period of time of self-doubt. I am sure that the princess will hear mean comments or have her feelings hurt, it's inevitable as some people just live to put other people down. I want her to rise above. To KNOW in her heart and in her head that she is not what someone else says she is, but that she is loved and worthy and exactly who God intended her to be when she was created. And I hope that is enough for her. 

I hope she is strong enough to not compromise herself to fit in or be accepted. I fell into that too many times and paid the price for not being true to myself and acting in a way that was not authentic to who I was at my core. I've written about that in previous posts, I hope she never experiences the pain and regret that I brought on to myself through those decisions. 

She will have to face tough times in her life, I know that no one is exempt from that pain, I just hope that it's not self-inflicted through bad decisions made in an effort to make someone else happy with who she is. 


  1. I am sorry..I didn't hear anything after you said the word girlfriend. I'm going to have to read this again. But..uhm..GIRLFRIEND?! Wow!

  2. On the flip side, I'm sure she thinks now and then "I'm going to do it differently than mommy/daddy." All parents hope their children will learn from their mistakes, and all children hope to break free of their parents' gravity.

    It's a hard thing to do.

    And congrats (I think) on the title. With an actual name-badge comes gf obligations. I hope it all works out for you. :D

  3. Ha! I agree with Rita! You lost me after Girlfriend!!! :)

  4. i worry about the same things for my boyfriend's daughter. i don't want her to have to go through any of the stuff that i did, but what can i do? i can't lock her up in the house - though sometimes i wish i could, and then i could interview kids before they play with her and make sure they aren't mean little shits who are going to hurt her feelings and make her doubt herself and everything that's wonderful about her.

    gee, i'm not a control freak, am i? lol

  5. Congrats (?) on your new title. Just keep things the way they are. Titles complicate.

    I agree about your hopes for the Princess. Knowing her self-worth is the most important thing you can teach her.

  6. i am SO happy you're back. i've missed scf! so, congrats? on the girlfriend status. sometimes it's nice to know exactly where you stand. seems like you guys had a good time at the party and you sure seem to have enjoyed that side to him that i'm assuming you hadn't before. good things, randy!

    as for your daughter, i think your wish for her is what we all wish for our (future, in my case) children. i think with a mom as smart and amazing as you are, the princess will do just fine. :)

  7. First Lady, huh? That's not to shabby! lol
    Congrats :)

  8. Yeah, you lost me at the girlfriend thing too, but I think maybe for different reasons. All joking aside, I am glad to have found your blog and hope to read many more. Thanks for sharing.

  9. I totally had to deal with stuff like that in high school. I became someone I wasn't and it took me years to fix that. But I'm 100% me now and that's all that matters. I just hope my children never deal with what I did.

  10. @Rita & Yvonne: I know right?!? I hope no one caught the look of surprise as I choked on my drink the first time he said it... a girl needs a little warning!

    @Lost: I'm sure the princess will chart her own course, she already does a pretty good job of doing the opposite of what I say. Maybe I should tell her to be a doormat and she will do the opposite to spite me. Yeah, that might work.

    @Kage: I like your "lock her away and screen everyone that comes in contact with her to make sure they are nice" approach. I would love to be able to protect her like that but I can only hope I steer her in the right direction now.

    @Michael: Thanks and yes, I plan to keep things just exactly as they were pre-title because fun is good and titles suck.

    @Alyssa: thanks hon! It was good and annoying at the same time last night. He gets distracted easily, but luckily I am an excellent mingler so I entertain myself and make friends quickly. As for the princess, I sure hope I'm doing it right!

    @Lady E: I think I would make an excellent First Lady, woah wait what? Maybe not so much but it's fun to pretend.

    @Jason: Thanks for coming back to RG, sorry I "lost you" with the gf... :0)

    @Sarah: I decided it was easier to be what people thought I was than to be what I knew I was and dealt with a lot of heartache because of it. I hope she's smarter than her mom was!

  11. I owe Rita a huge hug for leading me to you. Congrats on the new title and I can't wait to read more of your reverbing ;)

  12. @Stereo: thanks for the lovely comment! Rita is, and has been, my sunshine for almost a year now. She's lovely! Glad you are reading and I am doing likewise on your great words!

  13. I am loving this reverb challenge!

    I know the whole GF thing is getting a lot of attention, but I have to comment on part 2-- I ADORED that piece about your daughter.

  14. @Nicki: Glad you are enjoying reverb11! I'm glad I jumped on board. And thank you for your sweet comment!

  15. I can imagine how weird that might have felt. One day your Lisa and the next 'girlfriend'! Well at the very least your status has been officially upgraded.

    It's also great that you're using 'reverb11' to do some reflection. I'm not sure what it's all about (I haven't stopped by your page in a hot minute) but I'm going to pin you down for a serious 'catch-up' session soon! Xxx


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