Day 13: Fear - What scared you this year more than anything else? Did you learn anything new about yourself
Fear. I even hate the word. It's my 2nd least favorite feeling, coming in barely behind being betrayed and only slight ahead of being cold. I really really hate to feel afraid.
Most of things that scare me are things that I have no control over. Being a victim of crime, having a car accident, catastrophic asteroid hitting the earth, you know.. those types of things. Not a damn thing I can do about any of those things besides being careful and using common sense to help avoid a few, but ultimately, if it's going to happen, I can' do much about it.
Sneakier fears are what keep me up at night though... those things that creep in and F with your head when you try to quiet your mind. What if I can't protect my daughter from someone who has bad intentions towards her? What if I lose my job and can't support us, her dad will take her from me. What if I am making the wrong decision by being in this relationship? By ending this one? By not starting this one? What if, what if, what if.... two of the worst, most unproductive, words in our language and they are driven not by logic or concern, but totally by fear.
I guess my biggest fear is letting "What if..." ruin my joy. That would suck. So I try to fear not, and make the best possible decisions I can with the information and resources I have and not to worry about those things which I have no control over.