Happy "Soft-Core Friday" kids! I hope you all have had a lovely, shenanigan-filled week. If not, it's not too late as the weekend lays open before you so get on it!
As I shared yesterday, I found myself on Temptation Island in the metaphorical sense with Fireman again. I appreciate the advice and the "I think it's #4" confirmations on my post and on Twitter. You guys are right and you called me out for being an idiot and I need that once in a while.
The more I think about it, and I am thinking a lot about the whole situation, not just about the fun parts of it, but all the complicated root cause type parts of it, the more I realized that it's not really about him at all. It's about me. I want the attention, I want to be wanted, I want him to want to come back to be with me. And then I want to tell him no. Because I can and I should.
In an attempt to gain some clarity on my feelings yesterday, I met Twin for lunch. It was nice. I realize that when I go too long without physically seeing him, I can talk myself into thinking I don't like him as much as I do. But when I do spend time with him, even just to meet for lunch for an hour, I'm reminded of why I like him.
We both had the same great idea last night for him to come over ala booty call style, or at least that was the plan. With our schedules and me being sick, we hadn't "been together" in almost two weeks and I think it was making both of us a little cranky. So we fixed that last night. Unlike my normal booty call protocol, he stayed the night and I'm glad he did. We needed that time to just be close to one another physically for a while and reconnect.
I have to be honest and admit that the thought of Fireman crossed my mind at one point last night. But it quickly served as a point of contrast to what was actually in front of me, a man that cares about me, wants me to be happy, and let's me know that I'm special to him.
So kids, here's a big hip hip hooray for the return of logic. I'm hoping that it sticks around for a minute.
And, a big thanks to my darling Jewels for sending the link to this new Christina Perri song via the Twitters last night. I am truly in love with this song and I hope that I can feel this way about one person in my lifetime.