If you aren't already following Naked Girl, go check her site out and add it to your blogroll...immediately! You won't regret it! She always has something of substance to talk about and sheds perspective on what a lot of us are pondering every day, including dating, divorce, setting goals, and recognizing the moments that really count in life.
She has been a great friend, both online and in real life, and has even hosted Random Girl over at her place. If you missed that post, you can check it out here.
Now, without further ado... I bring you Naked Girl in a Dress!
I was honored when Random Girl asked me to guest post today. She is a versatile, talented writer and a wonderful friend. While I enjoy getting to know her through her writing, I have also been able to learn more about Random Girl through our friendship outside of blogging. Simply stated, she is a wonderful presence in my life. Random Girl is always uplifting, understanding, and positive. I didn’t hesitate to accept the offer to write for her today.
Perfecting Who We Are
“I am never dating again. I am finished and am at peace with being alone.”
At least that is what I stated in a long email to a friend recently. It seemed, with my overwhelming sadness, my time for dating was over.
The cause of my angst was another breakup. What might be surprising is that I broke up with the guy. That doesn’t seem right to me, to hurt so much when I end it. I have spent much time wondering what is wrong with me. No one else I know becomes as upset as I do when ending a relationship with someone.
Why do breakups, even ones I initiate, hurt so much?
Why do I have an inability to casually date a few guys without getting so involved?
Why isn’t the online dating process getting easier for me?
I spent a week crying over someone who was not right for me, but I would miss. I was also upset I hurt him by ending it. I was angry with myself for feeling deeply and letting my heart get involved to this point so often as well.
A friend who knew I was struggling with the thought of dating again sent me the following:
“We should spend time perfecting who we actually are, instead of trying to be the person we wish we were.”
This resonated for me. Something clicked and I finally got it. I can only be me when dating. I am not comfortable serial dating, I feel emotions deeply, and I don’t like to hurt others with a break up.
It’s going to hurt again.