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Monday, June 20, 2011

Voice of Silence - Indie Ink Weekly Challenge

It's time for another Indie Ink Challenge post.

This one, by far, stumped me the most out of all the one's I have had so far. I even went so far as to reach out to my challenger, Amy,  for clarification. She in turn, gave me complete freedom to interpret the prompt in my own way. That was the worst possible thing to do...too much freedom to me is punishment as I am a rule follower when it comes to assignments but I decided to quit whining and start writing.
My Challenge this week: "Art, thou art vox"

I challenged Ixy at http://ms-ixy.blogspot.com/

And here I go: "Art, Thou art vox"

“Art, thou art vox.” He just blurted it out in the darkness as we were lying there together.  He was always doing that, just saying some random thing he had heard or read when there really was no need for anything to be said. He could not tolerate long stretches of silence. 

I sighed and rolled away from him, not in the mood to try and decipher yet another one of his "profound" one-liners, which really were nothing more than something he decided to just put out there to hang between us without context or really any good reason at all.  

Why couldn’t he just say something real? Something important? Something I wanted to hear?  That’s not how it worked with us. I was not someone he was going to invest in with a real conversation. I knew that.

But really? Could he not come up with anything better than that? No, no he probably couldn’t. Or just plain wouldn’t. Anything else could lead to questions, conversations, him having to answer something of significance, and that simply would not do. No, it was much safer for him to stick to obscure statements of nothingness. No meaning, nothing that could lend itself to further conversation or questions or him having to explain its relevance.

At first, I used to think that him putting things out there in such an abrupt and out-of-the-blue sort of way was him being clever, intriguing, trying to draw me in or think he was mysterious or profound.  I quickly realized it was his was of shutting me down, avoiding me, telling me that he was done with whatever we had just been involved with and he was retreating back into himself and wished not to be disturbed.

After all, I was not there for him to have conversations with. No, my purpose was a much different one. He had other people that he turned to when he needed to talk.  He needed me for other things.  I gave him things that he couldn’t get somewhere else.  We both knew that.

And so here we are; laying in the darkness. And the best he could come up with was “Art, thou art vox.”  Yes, art was a voice, but a voice for what? Not his feelings.  If anything it was a voice of denial. A voice of avoidance the way he used that sentence in our context. It was never going to change with us. I would never get those conversations, the words with meanings. Those were never going to be for me.  It truly was a voice of silence.

I had had enough of it. He didn’t get to hide behind a random statement followed by silence any more.

“Do you think you will ever love me?” I asked him.

“Probably not.” he said.

Maybe I should have just been satisfied with the silence. 


18 comments:

  1. i saw that prompt, and i was talking about it in the car the other day trying to figure out what it meant. the dictionary on my mac dashboard describes it as kind of like an angelic voice...which fits into your story, yeah?

    i really enjoyed this. its my first challenge, i haven't posted yet, but i've been beyond impressed with the posts thus far and the email is great because i can visit and comment on every single one!

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  2. How many of us have been in that type of situation? Why does he say these things? Does he want to feel something?

    Everyone's prompts lately are leaving me with questions.

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  3. Great story Random Girl! It was funny and touching. And interesting. Would love to read more installments!

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  4. I hate it when a fuck buddy asks that question. Of course I would never try to fill the silence with random inane words.

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  5. Wow, this hits a little too close to home. We've never met, right?

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  6. I can too easily imagine being this guy. Uncomfortable! But very real. :)

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  7. that prompt was nearly impossible. Yet you found a way to weave a tale of raw emotion between two people.

    good conversation, it was intimate.

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  8. Killer ending!! I absolutely loved that last line. You painted the pictures of a casual relationship very well.

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  9. Ugh! That last part, killed me! I loved the way you wove this together. Painful, yet insightful, yet crystal clear. Been there before...

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  10. I was that guy for a little while, note 'past tense'. Being that way gets you nowhere in relationships.

    The writing - flowed effortlessly and could have been the end of a chapter in a bestseller. I love your fiction/writing voice!

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  11. I sometimes say random stuff but I do it when I'm on my own as well, not to try and be profound. Oh great, everyone thinks I'm a knobhead.

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  12. Wow I was so confused about "Art, thou art vox" until I read your explanation about it...I was like "what's vox?!" - I feel like an idiot.

    Your post was awesome - a bit too close to home sometimes - my mind tends to ramble and over analyse things my hubby says - they're never as romantic sounding as "Art, thou art vox" though...more like..."we need to do the laundry"...

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  13. hello? biographer? wow. unbelievably awesome way to tackle the prompt. sorta reminded me of my post "intoxicated" from a few weeks back (hope you don't mind the accidentally intentional shameless self-promotion there...)

    great job, as always. xx

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  14. unique take on such a vague prompt! having been in a similar situation with a guy like this, i def. related to this piece..well done.

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  15. Oh my god, I LOVED this! Wonderful musings on silence. And, I hate people who say things for no reason! The new guy at work started acronym-ing the name of our store and he won't stop using the acronym. It's like he wants it to catch on and be praised for it; and I was, like, "Stop. There's no need for that. Just call it what it is."

    Anyway, that story's not as fantastic as yours. Loved this.

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