This one, by far, stumped me the most out of all the one's I have had so far. I even went so far as to reach out to my challenger, Amy, for clarification. She in turn, gave me complete freedom to interpret the prompt in my own way. That was the worst possible thing to do...too much freedom to me is punishment as I am a rule follower when it comes to assignments but I decided to quit whining and start writing.
My Challenge this week: "Art, thou art vox"
I challenged Ixy at http://ms-ixy.blogspot.com/
And here I go: "Art, Thou art vox"
“Art, thou art vox.” He just blurted it out in the darkness as we were lying there together. He was always doing that, just saying some random thing he had heard or read when there really was no need for anything to be said. He could not tolerate long stretches of silence.
I sighed and rolled away from him, not in the mood to try and decipher yet another one of his "profound" one-liners, which really were nothing more than something he decided to just put out there to hang between us without context or really any good reason at all.
Why couldn’t he just say something real? Something important? Something I wanted to hear? That’s not how it worked with us. I was not someone he was going to invest in with a real conversation. I knew that.
But really? Could he not come up with anything better than that? No, no he probably couldn’t. Or just plain wouldn’t. Anything else could lead to questions, conversations, him having to answer something of significance, and that simply would not do. No, it was much safer for him to stick to obscure statements of nothingness. No meaning, nothing that could lend itself to further conversation or questions or him having to explain its relevance.
At first, I used to think that him putting things out there in such an abrupt and out-of-the-blue sort of way was him being clever, intriguing, trying to draw me in or think he was mysterious or profound. I quickly realized it was his was of shutting me down, avoiding me, telling me that he was done with whatever we had just been involved with and he was retreating back into himself and wished not to be disturbed.
After all, I was not there for him to have conversations with. No, my purpose was a much different one. He had other people that he turned to when he needed to talk. He needed me for other things. I gave him things that he couldn’t get somewhere else. We both knew that.
And so here we are; laying in the darkness. And the best he could come up with was “Art, thou art vox.” Yes, art was a voice, but a voice for what? Not his feelings. If anything it was a voice of denial. A voice of avoidance the way he used that sentence in our context. It was never going to change with us. I would never get those conversations, the words with meanings. Those were never going to be for me. It truly was a voice of silence.
I had had enough of it. He didn’t get to hide behind a random statement followed by silence any more.
“Do you think you will ever love me?” I asked him.
“Probably not.” he said.
Maybe I should have just been satisfied with the silence.