Friday, June 17, 2011

Soft-Core Friday - Reality is Better Than Fantasy

Ever heard one of those true life stories that makes you think "Damn, that is hot! For real???"  Well this is one of those. 

Today is not about me though. Today's Soft-Core Friday is a guest post from one of my gentleman friends. And I do mean friend, not code word for boy toy so get your heads out of the gutter, kids! I am lucky to have such good friends that are willing to share their hot sexscapades with me and in return allow me to share with you. 

I particularly appreciate this post. It reminds that sex in a committed relationship and/or marriage can be just as hot as sex with almost-strangers. It's also a good lesson that it doesn't just stay hot, you have to work at it and make the effort to keep it that way. So for that, I thank you friend. 

His Story: 
I've learned more from not having sex than having it. I didn't have it a lot when I was a teenager nor did I have it much when I was married the first time. This honed a people watching skill and a chemistry with my wife that lends to interesting observations and the best sex life I've ever had.
When I hear "once you get married, the sex disappears" or "kids take away your sex drive" I clench my fists like a UFC fighter in the Octagon. Neither are true. What causes lack of sex or loss of sex drive (outside of a medical condition or mental illness) is laziness.
I've had sex three times this week including this morning. Each escapade occurred because my wife and I read each other perfectly and we punched excuses in the face until they were bloody pulps.
I walk through my office, the grocery store, or God forbid, the mall; and see the look. That look on men's faces that scream "I'm not getting any sex or I'm not getting good sex". It kind of looks like the face people in movies make when they lose hope and turn into a zombie or sell their soul to the devil. I carried this look as a teenager and during my first marriage. The look was my fault, not the chicks who weren't having sex with me. You make your sex life happen. You are responsible. Yes, the women have the pussy and it talks, I get that. But the majority of women, especially the ones who want to see you naked and spend time with you want to have sex. You have to make the chemistry happen.
Two days ago, my wife and I were in the middle of a dry spell, for us, of 4 days. She was sick for two, I worked a ton the other two. Bottom line was, we were getting lazy. My wife sent me this text "I'm making a shopping trip. Can you skip the gym today? We have three hours to ourselves." Instead of bitching about not going to the gym or wanting to use the 3 hours to get stuff done I normally wouldn't get around to because of my kids, I thought "damn, she's buying something we can use in the bedroom, and all I have to do is shut up and get naked". So I did. She brought home body butter and likable sex gel. We started in the bathtub with the body butter, which is kind of girly but smells good and feels not that bad, then washed it off in the shower where we started having some very spontaneous, good sex. By the time we made it to the bedroom, we had lickable gel on the right parts of our body and both of us had orgasms from oral. For the next hour we took out time, going at it, slowing down, going hard again, until both of us were happy and laughing. We made time for each other. We slapped excuses away and made time to fuck.
Yesterday at the pool I saw this couple. They were in great shape. He was gym buffed and she was gorgeous with great boob job and tan to match. They had the look. They weren't having sex. There was distance between them you could sink the Titanic around. They weren't having sex. They had time to look great. They didn't have time for each other. Their wedding rings even sparkled. They made time to clean them. They weren't getting it done behind closed doors.
One of my kids came home early during our sexual fun. She was 45 minutes early. Neither my wife or I freaked out. We went into the bathroom and kept going until we were satisfied enough.
Marriage isn't an excuse to being miserable, sexually. Can you do stuff in public like you could when you were single? No. My kids don't have bail money and my job that pays the mortgage would frown on that charge on my record. But you can find time satisfy fantasies, be creative, have lunchtime quickies and make each other content.


  1. That was a great post - I love reading from the guy's perspective ;) And my favorite line: We slapped excuses away and made time to fuck.

  2. Good advice - I have lots of friends who have been married for anywhere from 5 - 15 years and I hear all sides. Some are still as horny and frisky as ever while others have cooled down a bit.

    But it's not about having sex all the time. As long as BOTH parties are happy with the amount of sex their getting (be it 3 times a week or 3 times a month) then all should be ok. It's when they are on two different wavelengths that problems arise.

    The Simple Dude

  3. great post and such wise words of wisdom. Don't get lazy !

  4. Two thumbs and big toes 'up' to this post. I had to share it on Facebook too.

  5. Great guest post and I'll be sure to take this advice when in my next relationship. :)

  6. Nice read. Its to bad none of its true.


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