Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Things I learned In Vegas

I am finally feeling like I may be able to function in some normal capacity again as I continue my recovery from my  weekend in Vegas.

It really was a picture-perfect trip (minus the super late arrival thanks to the longest airport to hotel transfer ever and the drama filled pre-departure medical snafu on my way home). For no longer than I was there, I can say with certainty that there was not a moment of potential fun left untapped or anything less than maximized.  You kids would be very proud of your Randy Girl!

I was able to check off nearly all the items on the Truth or Dare list. Pictures of most will be forthcoming. Oddly enough the one I couldn't nail down was Elvis... never saw him during my whole trip and I was looking!

While I compile the pics to accompany by trip recap, I will share with you a few things that I learned in Vegas on this trip just for fun

Things I learned in Vegas:

  • Never take a group shuttle from the airport. Cab or limo it. It's totally worth the extra $ to get to your hotel and get the party started asap. 
  • Shorts are the new dress/skirt "going out uniform" option: Super sexy, highly functional, and less risk of your ass hanging out in the strong Vegas breeze 
  • You can never meet too many sexy foreign guys. I tested this theory. It's science. 
  • VIP access at any club is easy. All you have to do is A) be a hot chick and B) be with another hot chick and C) not bring guys with you 
  • Breakfast is best when consumed immediately after the club closes and with a bunch of hot international guys at the table with you. Nothing says "good morning" better than listening to the Brazilian talk to the Germans about cars over an omelet and toast. 
  • Pool time is best spent when combined with lots of ice cold drinks, a great DJ, and an A-Rod look-alike. 
  • Squeezing an hour long power nap in between pool time and going out, especially if one finds themselves unintentionally day drunk, is highly recommended.
  • See PeepShow. Great show, amazingly hot and mostly naked girls (Including Holly Madison from "Girls Next Door") and guys who can actually dance, and good way to spend a few hours before the clubs get going
  • VIP access on a holiday weekend is a must. Otherwise we would have spent hours in line with thousands of other people to get into the pool/clubs at the Palms all weekend. Thanks to a little luck and twitter, we were hooked up with VIP/no waiting/no paying for anything privileges and it totally rocked. 
  • If a guy is short and angry at tall women in his normal real life, he will be even more angry and aggressive in Vegas when he comes across tall women. Francisco, you need anger management classes my friend. 
  • Keenan Cahill is hilarious to watch. Youtube him. You will see what I am talking about. He "performed" with LMFAO at Tao on Saturday night. The video is linked below. 
  • There is such a thing as "too many fucking people" in a nightclub. Not that I don't enjoy being smashed up against sweaty strangers for hours at a time but still... there has to be a limit. 
  • If you are guy, you better get your wallet out. Cover for guys was anywhere from $50 to $1000 just to get in the door most places for Memorial Day Weekend.  Average drink price was $20 almost everywhere we went. It would suck to be a dude in Vegas on MDW. 
  • After miles of walking and hours upon hours of dancing, even the most comfortable heels become devices of torture. You will not see a girl actually wearing her heels by the end of the night. Sexy sky-high heels are a must for going out in Vegas but all there is in the taxi line at the end of the night are a bunch of limping, barefoot girls in cute dresses.
  • If you ever need them, the medics at LAS airport are a cracker jack team. And cute. Just sayin' 
If you want a chronological breakdown (and a bikini pic if I recall correctly) it can all be found in my twitter feed as I decided to make it an interactive trip.  I will most likely be sharing some more tales of my shenanigans, because you know I have some good ones,  and few more pics after I get everything unpacked and regrouped from the trip. 


  1. Wow, that sounds like such a great weekend! One of these days I will totally have to go to vegas... maybe next year... Glad you had a great time. and Keenan Cahill is so cute, I saw him on chelsea lately, when she was dating 50 cent.... (50 cent sang w/him)

    AmberLaShell Rants

  2. No Elvis? Well, you obviously didn't make it to a shotgun-wedding chapel to find him.

  3. Love the list - I'll make a mental note to avoid holiday weekends in my favorite city.

    I saw my share of Elvis jackasses while I was there, consider yourself lucky.


  4. Holy shit that would be an expansive trip for a guy.

    I'm glad you had an awesome time. I'm thinking of getting twitter just to follow your random self.

  5. I'm glad you're home safe and (somewhat) sound. So let me get this straight, I could get turned down by the hottest girls in Vegas for a mere $1000?!? WHERE DO I SIGN UP?

  6. I can't do Twitter because the other me won't let me. There is something about tweeting someones twitter that seems wrong and completely unnatural. And, unless it comes with a hooker, a free buffet, a pack of peanuts and the retainer to lock in a divorce attourney, no bar is worth ten large just to enter.

  7. That is shocking that you didn't bump into Elvis. Usually he finds you. Looking forward to the recaps.

  8. Sounds like you had a blast! I will have to check out Twitter feed to see the play-by-play.

  9. Things I learned From Your Twitter Feed

    1) you do a lot of sit ups and they work. I do a lot of sit ups and they dont work

    2) Caesra's looks like where I'd be most of the time.

    3) Rain looked crazy. I bet I would have said something sarcastic to the wrong person and ended up in jail.

    4) Dry heat looks like southern swet heat....HOT

    Your Vegas travelogue looked interesting. I don't drink a lot and I don't gamble so being in your wwolfpack looked fun.

    seriously what's your stomach secret?

  10. @Amber: Yes you MUST go... too fun not to.

    @Joshua: I was able to avoid the shotgun luckily, but it was a close call with the Brazilian hottie

    @SD: Yeah, I would avoid it or plan on dropping some large cash for the extravaganza, your choice

    @Hero: you should totally get twitter so you can stalk me, I would @hero you all the time, promise!

    @ET: I doubt you would get turned down by the hotties love, you would be beating them off with a stick to get them away from your sexiness!

    @ib: All good points, I won't argue any of them.,

    @wow: I was surprised I didn't run into Elvis, and I was looking!

    @Onion: yes darling, the good stuff was on the twitter... I might have to go back through to remember what exactly I did for some of the time, it's a little hazy in spots....

  11. @lance: you must have been leaving a comment when I was replying to the other kids, sorry about that! In regards to your observations, excellent attention to detail on your part. You get an "A" on that test. For the record:
    1) I do a lot of sits up, and lots of other ab/oblique work and I don't get nearly the results I want but I keep trying anyways because the alternative of not doing it scares me.
    2) Caesars pool was fun primarily due to my friend from Vegas and her son that came to hang out and then later because of the NFL boys and the cabana extravaganza but that is for another post.
    3)Rain was straight up bananas. It would have been easy to end up in jail that night for real.
    4) I love the Vegas heat. It's nothing a few cocktails and some solid pool time can't fix.

    I don't normally drink a lot and I didn't gamble at all on this trip so being in my wolfpack might not be as fun as you would think but you are welcome to join anytime!

  12. Woohoo! You're back! Your trip sounds like so much fun! I love going to Vegas! Good times, always!

  13. Great list! Sounds like you had an epic trip. So sorry I was sans computer for so long and unable to interact with you on twitter or wish you a good trip. I feel so out of touch. I laughed so much at your "what I learned" list. Being a hot chick definately has its perks! hehe. Can't wait to hear more about it.

  14. Stupid Blogger won't let me sign in, so:

    Lazidaisical says...

    Wait! I missed the bikini pic?! Is it lost forever or is it gonna appear again sometime?!

    This is a frighteningly accurate Vegas list. "You can never meet enough foreign boys". Yes, that's absolutely right, isn't it?

  15. @Yvonne: Yes, it was good times for sure. Girls trip???

    @Jewels: I know you were with me in spirit even if your computer was being a dick. No worries! Glad you found the 'what I learned" list helpful. All totally true!

    @Lazidaisical: yes, the bikini pic was a twitter exclusive, still out there somewhere I'm sure but probably won't do a repost...well maybe, but don't get too excited,, you know my boob hang up! lol

  16. I really need to get my ass down to Vegas! I'll be bugging you when I plan my trip!!


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