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Monday, April 25, 2011

Indie Ink Challenge: Open Access

Hey kids! Hope you all had a fantastic holiday weekend. I know I did. I took the weekend off from all things blog related and I kind of missed it so I was glad to have a great new Indie Ink challenge to tackle today.

My challenge this week came from The Onion at A Lot of Layers. I am quite fond of this girl and her blog. You should check it out. Anyways, she gave me a great challenge to write around for this week. The challenge is included at the end of the story just to build the suspense a little for you.


I decided to take a a crack at this one and incorporate two areas I am not strong in, Fiction writing and dialogue. Hope you enjoy.

Open Access 

I stood at the door panting and sweaty, irritated because I couldn’t figure out the right key to get me in this damn apartment. After being here for two weeks, you would think I would have a clue but no, not the case. At least I had gotten a good run in this morning. I needed something to distract me, to clear my head and push out the thought of what was on the calendar for tomorrow.

I walked in and threw my keys down exasperated that it had taken me that long to get in my own damn apartment and he was just standing there looking at me.

“Nice of you to open the door for me,” I said with a snark. What the hell was his problem?

“Sorry, I was distracted,” he answered, an odd tone in his voice. I couldn’t quite place it; it was something between amused and disgusted. I noticed at that moment that he had my phone in his hand.

The news channel that we always kept on for background noise was running the headlining story, that big cell phone meltdown. Apparently, Blackberry had some sort of meltdown and all of the security code functionality had been disabled. There was mass panic among scandalous people everywhere from what the report alluded to. I wasn’t worried, but maybe I should have been.

“So, what’s your problem?” I asked him sharply.

“This,” he answered. He held up my phone.
Oh shit.

I guess I should have been worried after all. My mind raced to think about what was on there. I had been with him for a few months now but we weren’t exactly exclusive that whole time and I kept in touch with some of my other guys. One in particular that I knew could be trouble for us if he ever found out.

“Nice picture,” he said flatly.

He held up a photo of me and the other guy kissing. We had taken it as a self-portrait on our last date before calling it off. Innocent enough. He knew that I dated other people before we went exclusive.

“So what”, I asked, shrugging off his attitude.

“But I like the video better,” he said with a bitter laugh.

I continued into the kitchen to grab a bottle of water and didn’t immediately reply. My first thought was which video? The other guy and I had a habit of making impromptu videos of ourselves in the heat of the moment just to have fun with it. I thought I had erased them all but I must have missed one.

“That was a long time ago. If you want to make an issue of it now, be my guest,” I said back to him trying to keep my tone nonchalant to demonstrate how totally not a big deal I considered it.

“And then, as if the picture and the video of you with him wasn’t enough, there are the texts,” he continued, the laugh disappearing out of his voice, replaced with straight anger.

I knew what he was talking about. I didn’t really have an answer for him but I started to get angry back at him now for taking advantage of the security code being disabled and me being out for a run. I thought we trusted each other? Instead of fighting with him, I just stopped and looked at him.

For whatever stupid reason, I had kept the most recent string of text messages from the guy before. Maybe it was nostalgic, maybe I needed to see his confirmation of my decision on the screen to reassure me that I was making the right decision. I don’t know, I never thought I would have to stand here and justify it to him now.

“And you want to know what the real kicker is?  Not only do I find out you are pregnant with someone else’s baby right now, but then I find out you are having an abortion tomorrow morning without even telling me? Yeah, you can thank your calendar reminder for that little clue in.” He was beyond angry now, his face was red and he was clenching my phone so hard I thought it would shatter.

I wish it would shatter. And take all my problems and this moment with it.

Destroyed and laying in the floor in a million little pieces, just like I felt I was right at this moment.

I walked over to him and pried my phone from his hand.  His face was red and he was shaking. I could literally feel the anger radiating off of him when I was close to him.

Now was not the time to say anything. Anyways, what could I really say to him that he hadn’t already found out from my phone?

I picked my keys back up off the table and walked to the door. I wanted him to stop me but I knew he wouldn’t.

When I got down to the street, I stood on the sidewalk and just cried for what seemed like forever.

Then I dialed his number. 

The Writing Challenge was: During an electrical surge, all cell phones lose their ability to be 'locked". Tell a story about the carnage you think would occur when partners could read all of each others emails, texts and other technological debauchery.

Thanks to The Onion for giving me something fun and challenging to write about!


And on a side note, I wrote an article for The Dude Society, an online men's magazine,  advising guys to clean out their phone so if this scenario ever happened in real life, or they just have a crafty, snooping girlfriend, they wouldn't get busted. You should check it out! It created quite a stir!  
http://thedudesociety.com/2011/03/would-your-phone-get-you-busted/ 


4/26/11 Update: SeeSaw just completed the challenge that I gave for this week at Indie Ink. Stop over and check it out, it's an awesome and unexpected take on it. 


21 comments:

  1. Jeez! I would try it, but I don't think it would get any better than yours! That is great!

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  2. RG - I love it. I knew you would knock it out of the park. And that you did!

    P.S. I am quite fond of you and your blog as well. :-)

    www.alotoflayers.blogspot.com

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  3. Which 'his?'

    And wow. This is totally relatable. One of the last straws that broke this camel's back, and finally led to my divorce, was something similar. My 2yo son was playing with mommy's phone and then hands it to me. He opened up a string of texts between my wife and a coworker. They were fooling around at work, and this is how I found out.

    When she got out of the shower, shit hit the fan. But all in all, everything worked out in the end. I felt this guy's white-hot rage, and understood his pain.

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  4. Well done... methinks you are mistaken when you say fiction and dialogue are not strong points.

    This is one dude that is hoping you get some more prompts that lead to fiction writing!

    SD
    www.TheSimpleDude.com

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  5. Great take on your challenge this week. I really wanted to read more.

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  6. Man, this one made me feel really uncomfortable. I kept thinking, "This girl really doesn't make very good life choices, does she?" Great story.

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  7. Fantastic post! I couldn't agree with SD more-wonderful dialogue and fiction. Congrats on another post so amazing it makes me wonder what the hell I'm doing writing! ;)

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  8. Well done! For someone who doesn't think they are are not strong in fiction or dialogue, you could have fooled me! This kept me riveted and the nice surprise about the abortion was very climatic! Just a small critique though, who's baby was she expecting? You allude to "His" but don't explain who that is. Aside from that, good job! You need to write more stories!

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  9. Brilliant, my darling. There are a few places that I think could be tightened but you really do a fantastic job.~

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  10. holy shit this is a fucking nightmare! (she shrieks, running for her phone, heh)

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  11. wow, so relatable. something similar happned with me and my wife right after we started dating. It was so intense, just like this post.

    So well written, and so engaging.

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  12. After reading that, I can't believe you said fiction was not one of your many strong points. It was an excellent read and a wonderful idea. To be honest that's probably happened to most everybody in this generation with the texting and emails, so there's truth behind it and completely relatable.

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  13. Further evidence that technology isn't bringing people closer together. Nice!

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  14. Nice. And I'm really glad I don't have anything like that in my phone or email.

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  15. Well written piece. I generally delete any pictures and texts immediately after reading them, just in case.

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  16. I loved the way you laid it out, bit by bit til you hit us with the big thing! I was getting nervous for her! We've all got somethings on the cell phone we don't want someone to see, right? :)

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  17. Yikes. Poor dude. What a horrible judge of character he is!

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  18. Thanks for the encouragement and positive comments. As for which "his" number does she dial at the end...that is for you to ponder. Funny how so many people can relate to this scenario in some way, either being found out of finding out something about someone they are involved with.
    @Beer: yes, as if we needed more proof, yet another relationship sunk by bad decisions and proof of them on the phone
    @Lazidaisical: Not sure that he was a bad judge of character. She may have just been trying to start over fresh with him and have good intentions but just went about it the wrong way. Just sayin'

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  19. let's just hope this isn't prophetic! great job! :)

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  20. What the ... hang on wait! ... calling who?

    Nah, nah, you're taking liberties. I want to know who she was calling? What's going to happen with the baby? If they stay together? if ...?

    LOOK, I JUST WANT SOME CLOSURE OKAY!

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  21. Great prompt and equally great story. It held together very well and the dialogue worked perfectly. Nice job!

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