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Friday, April 29, 2011

Fighting Words - Red Writing Hood Friday Link Up

The Friday link up for Red Writing Hood is an awesome concept: Fighting Words



The goal was to capture the feeling, describe what was said, what happened as a result. Here is my take on it.


Fighting Words

We have had this argument so many times in the last year that it is almost like we are working from a script. He’ll say this. I’ll say that.  On and on it goes. Always with the same result; frustration and little else.

We used to have this argument with a great amount of enthusiasm, yelling, doors slamming, name calling. We used to really get into the theatrics of it. It was almost like a pressure release for us to just throw all of our energy into the production. The words weren’t as important as the intensity.

Now it’s different. We assume our positions on opposite sides of the room, facing each other but still able to steal a glance at the TV when the argument lulled from one of us forgetting our “line” to keep it going on pace. It didn’t even really matter anymore. He still says this. I still say that. Neither one of us really cares what the other has to say.  It is just an exercise in futility at this point.

It ends like most of them do now. One of us eventually says “I don’t really have anything else to say” and we go our separate ways. I head upstairs to the bedroom and crawl into our king size bed alone. He goes down to the basement where he will fall asleep on the couch yet again. I know this because it has been this way for the last three months at least.  The problem has been around much longer than that.

Tonight, here we go again. We are both exhausted as we assume our defensive stances and the conversation starts. His says this. I say that. On and on we go. Neither one of us having the energy left to pretend to be angry, we just want it to end. To not have to close another day out with this feeling of being so tired of our situation. To either fix it or end it, but not keep living in it.

But we are both out of anger. We don’t have the hurt fueling us to be passionate towards each other, even about an argument. The fight has just been used up.

I tell him I don’t have anything else to say.  I begin my ascent up the stairs, prepared to go to bed alone yet again.  But he’s not done yet. He says it. He says the one thing that he knows will put an end to it all.
It stops me dead in my tracks. I turn around to face him and it’s not anger, but almost relief that overcomes me. I tell him that I am glad that he finally had the nerve to say what he had really been thinking all along. I had been waiting for that. I had been waiting for him to tell me truth.   

I tell him that I will finish packing in the morning and then I will be gone, and I continue my climb up the stairs to the empty bed that is waiting for me. Exhausted but now relieved that we won’t have to have that conversation ever again. 



15 comments:

  1. I like the way you presented this: "he says this, I say that". It really drove home the feeling of an ongoing marital argument where the details aren't as important as the theme.

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  2. wow... I love the intensity... I've been here, and I can say that there are probably many many women that can insert their own dialogue in there.

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  3. i love the intensity too, and i have been in the conversation... and i felt the relief, too.

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  4. I can relate a little bit to that.

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  5. the repeated choreography and the "he says this, I say that" give this a really musical flow. it's certainly not music I want to dance to, but certainly compelling.

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  6. Wowza. First, the "he says this, I say that" was spot on for anyone who has been in a relationship with the wrong person or one that has run its course. You truly brought me back to the final fight of my first marriage and awakened some feelings that I'd long forgotten. You did an incredible job at imparting the lack of enthusiasm and passion. Amazing!

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  7. Wow, good one. While not always to the same end, I think every couple can go here. Bored fighting. No resolution in sight. Good post!

    www.alotoflayers.blogspot.com

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  8. Relatable? Yes. Same ending? Nope.

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  9. so real,so relatable.

    felt like I was wlaking up the stairs too.

    Good piece Randygirl

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  10. I can feel the frustration. And then the relief. Of finally finishing.
    Well done.

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  11. Thanks all, you really got this. Sorry so many of you can relate to this feeling though. This was my life for far too long. As much as I wish it were different, this is no work of fiction.

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  12. Boy I've been there too. It's the worst feeling at the time but looking back I don't wish I was still in any of those situations. Sometimes I didn't have the strength to leave a situation I probably should have. I thank god it was ended for me!

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  13. This was great! I felt the intensity, the friction, the anger and the sigh of relief. I'm sorry this was your life but at least, it's not anymore. :)

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  14. I felt the intensity, as well as the sense of resignation. This story was excellently written, but I'm sad about the ending because I'm a hopeless romantic. It's good that it has given you relief, though.

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