Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Women & Cheating - The Reasons Why
Ladies: Have you ever? Would you ever?
What would make you justify cheating as necessary or OK?
I know some of you may find this hard to believe based on some of my randy posts but I have never cheated in a committed relationship. Even when my marriage was in complete self-destruct mode, I never stepped out on my husband despite numerous opportunities to do so had I wanted to. I don't know why, I just didn't. It is easy enough to see how and why it happens, to both men and women though and an interesting segment I caught on TV today brought me back around to the topic.
I'm curious as to your thoughts on this.
I saw this segment on the TODAY show this morning and was intrigued by what the experts speaking on the topic proposed as reasons why women cheat and how cheating can be prevented.
First, I think it is important to note that in regards to this particular discussion, the definition of cheating was not limited to sexual acts with someone other than your partner/spouse. It was much more broadly defined to encompass any betrayal of the commitment including creating emotional ties to someone other than your partner/spouse.
I think the definition in and of itself has plenty of room for debate and I might tackle that in another post but for this, I am looking for your perspective on the reasons listed below.
Top 5 Reasons Women Cheat:
1) Seeking revenge
2) They want to get caught (Exit Affair)
3) They feel lonely
4) They want to relive relive their past
5) They have a near death experience
Seeking Revenge: The concept behind this driver is that the woman has been betrayed or cheated on by her spouse/partner and thus seeks to show them the same level of pain and hurt by doing it back to them.
They want to get caught (Exit Affair): This was an interesting one to me. The thinking behind this is that the woman in unhappy but feels that she can't take the initiative to just end the relationship/marriage because of social stigma or whatnot so she has an affair hoping to get caught so her partner will end it for her. Studies show that men are much less likely to forgive the woman when she cheats and therefore would most likely take steps to end it as oppose to want to work through it.
They feel lonely: This one is pretty cut and dry. Not getting any attention or affection from the partner/spouse leads women to seek companionship (emotional or physical or both) from someone outside of her committed relationship
They want to relive their past: This is the one I have the hardest time with out of this list. What woman, or man for that matter, doesn't remember fondly the good ol' days of being wild and free, that hot Spring Break hook up, or the first love they had. But to try to recapture those feelings by having an affair? I just am not making the connection on that one.
They have a near death experience: It's not so much the actual events of the near death experience that prompt the affair but more so the evaluation of how happy or unfulfilled a woman is as she reevaluates what is really important to her after such a traumatic experience. Women that were happy just being in a mediocre marriage prior to are now seeking true romance and love and adventure to live to their fullest.
In this same segment, they also offered ways to help a woman keep from cheating on her partner/spouse. Those were equally as interesting and I'll be putting those in a follow up post for further discussion.
So what do you think? Is this really why women cheat? Have you cheated for one of these reasons or are there other more relevant reasons that they missed? Let me know!
To see the full segment being reference, see info below
TODAYs Natalie Morales talks to Kelly Wallace, iVillage.com chief correspondent, about why more women are cheating on their significant others.
Graphic credit from http://www.ehow.com/how_5837692_woman-cheating.html