Thursday, March 3, 2011

Random Takes Requests - Bare-Assed & Busted

I opened my post suggestions up to you lovely kids and got quite a variety of requests. Everything from most embarrassing sexcapade to what snack food I couldn't live without. Lots of fun stuff! I appreciate your suggestions and have decided to make a series of posts to address your inquiries. I know, I am almost as awesome as you kids are.

For Part 1 I'm going to tackle the first and most requested topic: Most embarrassing sex moment. Here was the original request from my girl Nikki:
Nikki Rules said...

Oh my, how RANDOM! Let's go with (hee hee) sharing your most embarrassing sexual encounter. Pussy farts, accidental bites, poking the wrong body part, stuff that either made you blush madly or giggle so hard. Make us do what you totally can do and have us leaving with smiles!

I do love sharing my embarrassing stories with others so someone can get a good laugh out of my humiliation. It makes it all worth it. I also prefer to fall down in public for the very same reason. No shame in my game. Enjoy!

Back in the day, the ex-hubs and I used to go about things in a fairly hot and heavy way. That was the only part of our marriage that was never really broken. We took a fabulous vacation to a tropical paradise fairly early in our marriage. Doing as newlyweds do, we found conveniently hidden locations throughout the resort in which to show our affections to one another. Most of these events were without incident. Not the gazebo tryst. 

After dinner and several bottles of delicious pinot noir one night we were walking along the beach to get back to our villa when we noticed a pier with a little gazebo at the end of it. It was dark and fairly secluded so we decided to take a look around.

We were thrilled to find a sturdy bench inside that gazebo. He sat down and I proceeded to straddle him with my dress pulled up around my hips and so it began. It was the perfect sexy moment, until the catamaran booze cruise decided to come back to dock, and flip on the flood lights. In our...umm, distracted state, we hadn't even heard it approaching. Unfortunately for us but very much to the amusement of the 20 or so very drunk passengers standing on deck, we might as well have been in broad daylight. So much for romance. 

This happened on our second day of a five day stay. And wouldn't you know we ran into those damn catamaran booze cruise people everywhere we went for the rest of our vacation?  Yeah, they knew who we were... and I think the hubs got more high fives in those three days than he had before or since. I on the other hand had the distinct pleasure of knowing that they had all seen my ass in action, literally. Fun. 

There you have it kids, getting busted bare-assed in the act by a boat full of drunks. The moment that "made me blush madly", just as Nikki requested.


  1. I still need to try the 'sex in public' thing, but stories like this make me nervous. But high 5's sound cool!

  2. That is AWESOME! Thank you for sharing.

  3. hahaha. I love it. The best/worst part is that you had to see them for days still. Oh least you were getting some. Thanks for sharing.

  4. Holy shit you work fast!! I'm referring to the speed of your post, dear. Great story! Can't wait to hear more. What a great idea to ask for inspiration from your readers.

  5. ha ha nice...thanks for letting us in..

    I have another request - every women I know from age to 60 loves the movie Grease. Because I have the flu today and thus the chills that are multipying, I want to know the girl fascination w that piece of crap. The end of the movie good girl Sandy goes bad to snare Danny dooshbag. The message - to find happiness YA GOTTA BE A WHORE.

    i don;t get it. at all.


  6. I love how your hubby was getting the high fives, though I think you were the one who truly deserved them, my darling.~ ;-)


    Okay, don't get all "he's a stalker". I meant that in a blog following, cyber friend from the same state, sort of way.

  8. @Lost: Go for it. The quickest way to get high fives from strangers is to have them catch you having sex. It's fact.

    @Normal: Thanks for the comment and for stopping by

    @Jewels: We were all friends by the end of that trip, I think we might have had a fan club but not sure.

    @Heather: Yes, I move fast. On all fronts. I don't like to overthink things like this because then I lose my courage or talk myself out of shit. Thanks for the comment!

    @Lance: I should snub you after your twitter hate rampage today but I forgive quickly so we can still be friends. Check out my "Two Sides" post for the answer to your Grease question. All chicks want to be whores, they are just looking for an excuse and opportunity. Thus the love of GREASE. Simple huh?

    @sweet Kat: I most certainly did! You know how that goes though, we do the work, they get the glory. He needed it though, fragile ego. I'm fine.

    @ib: I do love to be loved sweetness, no worries! Glad you liked it. And high five back to you sir!

  9. lol...i was just giving you the business. that's what friends do.

    read Two Sides. I kind of get it now. youre awesome.

  10. @Lance: Yes, that's what friends do. Glad I could clear up the Grease mystery for you. You should have known it was all about being a whore all along! lol

  11. Wow, that's quite the experience. I once had a boyfriend's brother walk in on us (way, way back in the day), but that's nothing compared to this. My cheeks would have been red the rest of the trip.

  12. @Hannah: No shame in my game love, head held high and a swagger in my walk.. that's how I do it girl! ha ha!


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