Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Size Matters (And no, it's not what you think)

I would be lying if I said that size doesn't matter. It does. But not in the way that you gutter-minded kids are thinking. Let me explain.
I am 5'9". I have been 5'9" since I was 11 years old. Growing up, I was always the tallest girl in my class. From Kindergarten on, I was always on the back set of risers for choir, the end of the line when it was the day to line up by shortest to tallest, even taller than the boys. Other than getting to be the star on the 3rd grade Christmas program when the tree shape was created by the shortest kids in class being the trunk and tallest getting to be the star, there were few times that being the tallest girl in any given setting had made me shine.
It wasn't until Jr. High when a few of the boys finally got their growth spurts and surpassed me. Thank God, because slow dancing to "High Enough" by Damn Yankees with someone shorter than me would have been horrifying for sure.
With the exception of 2 other girls, I remained the tallest girl in my class throughout High School. As a girl with no lack of self-doubt for a myriad of reasons at that point, I hated being so tall. Most of my girlfriends were barely over 5'4" on their tallest day so not only was I tall on my own, but very tall in comparison to them. I obsessively wore flats, slouched a lot, and hoped that I would appear less tall. I know, probably not so likely to happen but a teenage girl could dream right?
As I grew older and more confident, I began to see that my height was actually a good thing and I embraced it with enthusiasm. I was still usually the tallest girl in any given room but I saw that it set me apart from the crowd, drew attention to me, and gave me a chance to get the first looks.
In my professional career, when I walk into a meeting room or speak at a conference, I command the stage and get the audiences attention, more so because of my confidence, but also because of my presence and stature. In a business environment comprised primarily of men, the fact that I can stand eye to eye with most of them puts me on a more level playing field, at least in my own mind. Either way, I have a confidence now to accompany my 5'9" self, usually and even 6' in my heels.
When it comes to dating, that is where I still get hung up on my height. I always joke with my friends that there is a "short guy epidemic" in my city. Sad but true. I purposely wear my highest heels when I go out and I call them "the qualifier", similar to the posts at the entry gates to any good roller coaster that indicates "You must be at least this tall to ride this ride".  If you aren't at least as tall as me when I am in my heels, move along please.
I understand that it is a very superficial attribute on which to judge potential. I am not proud of myself for being hung up on that specific thing. I blame it on my insecurities from my childhood coming back. I know a lot of really great, attractive guys that are shorter than me so I know that I am missing out on a potentially great relationship because of my stupid hang up that I shouldn't be taller than the guy I am with. I can't help it. It makes me self-conscience and takes away the joy of wearing heels for me, which really is a shame because I have a fantastic collection of high heels and wearing them makes me feel my sexiest. I feel like I would be short changing someone if I didn't come out as my sexiest, fearless self because of a silly insecurity brought on by something they have absolutely no control over.
 I understand,  I don't need taller guys, I need more self-confidence. Just not sure how to get there.
Do you have any hang-ups? Scarred by your childhood?  Tell me about it kids, I'm here to learn!
ps. pic is not me, but you get the


  1. I like taller girls, I'm 6'3". It just makes things easier. I definitely have a type, but seldom end up with that girl.

  2. After my divorce and before my remarriage, I found laughable when I heard my female friends or girlfriends rattle off list of superficial stuff they were looking for in a dude. One friend was 5'8" (my height) and passed me and other dudes up (she was crazy, so no loss) because she "had to have a tall guy". My wife is 5'9". Whenever I ask her if me being an inch shorter worried or worries her, her answer, "I'd rather have a short right person than a tall wrong person."

    Wear whatever shoes you want. If the dude is right for you, he won't care. Pinky swear.

  3. First of all, I'm so jealous of you now because I'm a shrimp next to you. (5' on the dot.) But, I've always been attracted to tall men too. I don't think I dated anyone shorter than 5'9" and my husband is 6'.

    And I don't know if you would call it a hang-up, but after I was pregnant with my daughter, I could never date a guy that smoked. The smell made me violently ill when I was pregnant and to this day I'm overly sensitive to it. When I finally met my husband, I "very nicely" asked him to quit smoking. Thank God he did.

  4. I'm about 5'9" too, RandyGirl, and always slouch and wear flats because I felt so self-conscious. Then my ex was only about 5'5" and, well, he had a lot of issues, and my being taller than him was one, which was stupid because I wasn't going to get any shorter when he put the ring on my finger, but whatever.

    I admit that I like a guy to be taller than I am while I'm still wearing my kickass boots, but as long as they really didn't have a problem with it, then I wouldn't either if they were the same height. I will never go drastically shorter again. No fucking way on so many levels.

    I'm rambling. *passes out on bed again*

  5. @George: 6'3" is perfect in my opinion. I have a type as well, I have basically been dating/married to the same guy for the last 20 years,, they just had different names. Hey, I like what I like...

    @Lance: sounds like you have a great woman there, smart too! I too would rather have right vs. wrong but my picky self wants the best of all worlds.

    @Hannah: So you were one of the short girls that always stole the tall guys from tall girls like me?!? Curse you woman! Seriously though, glad the hubs quit smoking, it would suck to be in love with someone who made you violently ill, FAIL! Thanks for the comment girlie!

    @Kat: Hello fellow tall and sexy girl, my Sweet Kat! Yet another reason why I like you. I am surprised that your ex was 5'5", you should have told me, I totally would have warned you it wouldn't work. Even the most secure guy gets a little overwhelmed when a tall sexy busts out the the "come f*ck me boots", they are a force to be reckoned with! Thanks for visiting in your cold med haze, still very coherent! *mwah*

  6. What the eff? My meds are all out of whack.

  7. I'm 5'3" and although I'm aware that there are lots of things I can't do because I'm not tall that was never a serious hang up for me. Being too skinny in a culture that promoted curviness messed with me much more.

    I dated a guy who was my height who, among other things, had an almost comical short-man complex and didn't understand why I didn't feel inadequate for being 5'3". His lack of confidence and chip on his shoulder was much more unattractive to me than his height.

    I've also had people comment that they didn't realize I was short because of my "demeanor". Perception is a tricky thing.

  8. I'm 5'10" and just can't date shorter guys. I've just doesn't work for me. I need my men to be at least 6'1"...and even that is pushing it. I'd prefer somebody to be 6'4"-6'9" (yes I know 6'9" guys). I love, love, love tall guys. I try not to count guys out who are my height exactly but can't go shorter.

  9. @ET: Thanks for following me over to the flip side. I am just so multi-dimensional huh? As for the meds excuse, that has already been taken by my sweet Kat.

    @Tanya: I think it is hard to be "other than the norm" in any culture, it sucks to stand out sometimes. As for the "short man" complex, guys deny it exists but I think all of ladies can show evidence to the contrary. And I agree, perception counts for a lot, it truly can change what people see when they look at you. Thanks for following my ramblings girlie!

    @ Jewels: Oh, another sexy tall girl, goodie! My ideal is 6'1" to 6'4" historically but I have dated taller and shorter. I think 5'11" is my bottom now but who knows, I could be surprised. My favorite guy line to combat this hangup? "Everyone is the same height when you're laying down." Boomshakalaka!

  10. RG, noob here. I was perusing Secret Pleasures when I came across your comment. Being the Curious type, I hopped over here and found your post amusing. I checked your profile (and no, I am not a stalker) and saw that you are a fellow "Hoosier", and thought it would be in my best interest to tag along. Also worth noting, I was always the shortest kid in school. As I stand here now, I am a lanky 5'8". But, don't hold that against me.

  11. @ib: Thanks for checking out my ramblings. Hopefully you will stick around. And yes, I am a Hoosier by residence but my heart belongs to the Buckeyes, born and raised in OH. Hopefully we can still be friends.

  12. RG, that will not be an issue. I too, am a Buckeye at heart. Born in Cleveland. Friends indeed.

  13. @ib: Oh excellent, that makes things much easier then. Go Bucks!

  14. hey RG!

    love the pic of you and the shorty...

    i have always been undertall...and i am not at all self-conscious about being 5'6"...

    i am still way to man pretty, for my own good!

    i am not gonna get any i deal with it. people put way to much into the physical attributes of a person. i am who i am...

    but i am also afraid of hieghts...

    rock on tall ladies...

    any time you want to party , you can always set your beer on my head. i cannot promise that it will remain there and full but it is an option.



  15. @Bruce: Thanks for the visit and comment. And just to be clear, I am tall, but not THAT tall to be the girl in the pic, but she is pretty awesome!
    I love the useful beer can holder functionality that you suggest, you may have just made the best case ever for me dating a shorter man. Well done sir, well done!

  16. I like tall men too. But I'm short.

  17. Love love love that pic.

    I always preferred taller men, then married one a couple of inches shorter than me. And sufficiently cute and loud and opinionated that no one notices, including him....

  18. @Jules: you short girls always steal the tall guys! Darn you! But it's ok to like what you like dear. Thanks for the comment!

    @Brahm: That pic was greatness, I couldn't resist. I am sure that karma being what it is, I will fall in love with a guy who is much shorter than me just to make me get over myself. And I will be just fine with that! Glad he is big in other ways! Thanks for following!


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