Thursday, February 17, 2011

Please slap me if...... first response to my daughter's leaked sex tape (or something equally as devastating) would ever be "How can we make the most possible money off of  this?" I don't usually rant but I can't really let this one go so thank you in advance for hearing me out.

I have seen mentioned on several occasions today alone, the genius of one mother's business mind for taking her daughter's sex tape and finding a way to make the most money possible on it. They referred to it as "building her brand". Correct me if I am wrong but is that not the definition of parent pimp?

I am all for being proud of what your kids have accomplished. Taking first place in a sporting event or science fair, being on the Dean's list, discovering a cure for some wretched disease, but making a sex tape? Really? This is your shining moment as a parent?

Don't get me wrong, if you want to make a sex tape, go for it. Just know that if it gets leaked by some skeezy ex-boyfriend, your mom may want to mass market it for a significant profit. Because really, isn't it every mother's dream to be able to say they got rich off of selling their daughter's dignity?

Call me crazy, but my first instinct would be to protect and shield her from the exposure, not exploit her and build a brand out of it. I guess every mother has their own idea about things like that.

So while she is touted as a business genius, and her "brand building" strategies are being applauded, I will just thank my lucky stars that I have a mother that would care more about me than her bank account and sleep well knowing that I follow in her footsteps.

Thanks Mom!


  1. Never record anything that you don't mind everyone knowing about.

  2. I don't think that you're ever going to need that slap because you're a good mama, sweetie.~ ;-)

  3. @George: I agree, nothing on record, ever. I will be teaching my daughter that lesson you can bet on it!
    @Kat: My sweet Kat, I hope to God you are right and I never do anything dumb enough to deserve that slap! We will save the slapping for our asses with Lady Bx right?? Muah!

  4. My first response would be to beat the crap out of her...which is why I will never have children!

    It's scary, the world kids live in now, when I was young and did stupid stuff I didn't have to worry about twitter, facebook, and youtube letting everyone in on my dumb mistakes. The access to these media outlets makes next to nothing private and kids don't seem to understand the danger of "once it's out there it's out there forever". Great post.

  5. When I was 13 my friends and I (blushing with slightly tainted signs of embarrassement) out of boredom would moon by a local stop sign.

    Later that night when I got home my mom greeted me with some hysterical yelling. Yeah... I mooned my own mother. As I sit here with my head hanging in shame I am thoroughly relieved branding did not exist back then. At least not this particular type of branding.

  6. @Jewels: words cannot express how grateful I am that youtube/facebook/twitter did not exist when I was a teenager. I would never be able to get a job!
    @Nikki: Ah, yes, the ol' moon at the stoplight trick. I too passed a minute or two exposing parts of myself to unsuspecting peeps around that age... hell, I still do it now sometimes just for fun. But at no point did my mom wonder how to make $ off it, she just grounded my ass and shamed me relentlessly, like any good mom should!

  7. From a dad of 3 daughters including a 15 year old I offer this:

    If do ANYTHING other than think of your girls as babies you are going to Hell. The way Jessica and Ashlee Simpson's dad Joe talks about their bodies, involved himself in their careers and their relationships is a new level of creep.

    The only way I ever want to "make money" off my kids is when they;re older, is of one or two of them decides to become a stock broker and give their dear old dad financial advice, then I'm aces.

    taht's sarcasm btw...thanks

  8. @Lance: Amen and Amen! Common sense makes a comeback! Your girls are lucky to have a dad who is not an over-involved creeper! Bravo to you sir!


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